Update on the drama of yesterday....

Thanks so much for your prayers everyone and all the supportive comments! We really appreciate the support! Things are getting kinda back to normal. I was a little apprehensive about sleeping last night and awoke to check on Shane numerous times and check that he was still and breathing.
We ended up making a bed on the living room floor because it is cooler out in the living room with the air conditioner. I actually welcomed the idea of not sleeping in our room. It was just freaky for me. I don't want to be bothered by fear or worry, but it just felt weird to sleep in our room last night with some flashbacks of how I woke up that morning. I feel the need to vaccuum in that room today....get rid of anything that could be in there. I know it sounds strange.

Otherwise, the situation went as smoothly as I could have hoped for. I wanted to cry last morning when I woke up with Shane in that state. But I clicked into nurse mode and was pretty calm, but a little paniced. Because of the need to remain rationale, I didn't cry at the time and so I actually haven't shed a tear yet. Maybe I will at some point just to release any kind of feelings that need to be let out through tears.

It was very helpful to know the lingo of what the peramedics were saying. It allowed me to know that his vital signs, blood sugar, etc were ok. Though I think his pulse was pretty elevated.

We went for some food with his parents, my mom and sister after we left the hospital yesterday afternoon. Then we came home to return some calls and give some updates and headed to bed. We were both really exhausted and needed a nap. So, we slept for 2 hours and spent the rest of the evening relaxing. Popsicles, a cute movie and my sister were the best medicine!

Just continue to pray for answers, light into the spiritual and physical side of things, that seizures never happen again, and that fear and anxiety wouldn't have any room in our hearts or home. Thanks again for all the support! It is SOOO appreciated!

Prayer request and update....

I woke up this morning to Shane having a seizure on the floor beside my bed. I called 911 who responded within about 10 minutes. In the meantime, I waited, talking to Shane, calling out to Jesus and turning Shane on his side and making sure he was breathing. In the time between the call to 911 and their arrival, he had another seizure that lasted less than 1 minute. I had about 7 uniformed men in our tiny little bedroom. Good thing I managed to think clearly and get some clothes on before they arrived!
We were brought to the St.Boniface Emergency by ambulance. Shane was only slightly responsive for a good hour. He finally said a word to me about an hour or so after I had found him on our floor.
Shane had blood work done, a physical assessment and a CT scan this morning/afternoon. All were normal. He is very sleepy now and has the battle wounds of burst blood vessels around his eyes, but otherwise doing well. We are home now and I'm just going to spend the next day or two observing him, providing that natural nursing care and loving my husband that is alive today! Thank-you Jesus for no brain damage and that my hubbie is alive!
Thanks to all who were praying and please continue to do so. Pray that this never happens again.
God bless. I'm off to tuck my buddy into bed...more updates later.

Lots to say, not a lot of time to say it.....

-great day at the hospital...slow, but had an incredible couple to work with, they gave me positive feedback like crazy! The husband even pulled my preceptor aside and ranted about a list of positive things he had to say about me! And when someone rants about your communication skills and people skills, that is a HUGE compliment!

-I enjoyed the warm weather yesterday at Birds Hill Beach with my hubbie! It was SO nice to have a weekend day with him! It has felt like a long time since I've seen Shane for a whole day!

-Only 6 more shifts as a student nurse! Yikes! I have had an incredible experience! I love this area of nursing! And I almost had a delivery on my own the other day! One more push and I would have been delivering that baby on my own! I sure used good judgement at the perfect timing when I called for the doctor and another nurse to help me out with the delivery!

-Actually went out socially on friday night...and way past my bedtime! Shane and I met Christina, Steph, Roman (Christina's bro) and Stephan (Christina's bro) at the Forks for yummy drinks! It was nice to be out socially and see people that I enjoy!

-A week from thursday Shane and I leave for our 10-day trip to KC!!! I'm so looking forward to it! I hope to receive more and more direction with the next stage of our lives! Bring it on, Lord! And I'm pumped to visit Joel and Joyska!

Lots of good stuff........mmmmm.......speaking of good stuff...I think my bed and Bible are calling!

A nice, slow day at the hospital...

I had a nice 12 hour shift and it was good to come home without sore feet! I spent most of my day sitting with a very sweet patient, in the dark (as much as we could get the room dark during the day) because of a severe headache, and working mostly on my own! That is the part that really felt good! I always had a resource person to ask questions to, but I had my patient to myself for practically the whole day! The charge nurse said that since I'm done in 2 weeks I may as well get my initiation...or something to that effect. They acknowledged the "promotion" I had with more independence today. Yippee!

And yes, 9 more shifts until I am finished my senior practicum! Isn't that incredible?! It has really gone by quite fast! I'm excited..and a little nervous...to go and do this L & D nursing thing as a real nurse! I keep telling my patients' something like that lately....that "_ more shifts and I'm a real nurse!". Hee hee!

Another good thing about today is that I talked to my unit manager. She said that she is off on holidays for 3 weeks starting next week so there won't be any postings during that time. To me that pretty much means that while I'm in Kansas City at the end of the month I won't be missing out on potential positions! She also said that as soon as I get my grad status in the mail, which will probably be within the week or so after we return from KC, while I'm cramming for my RN exam, I should call her and she will hire me as a casual staff right away! So, I can pretty much start right away as long as there are shifts available! And they seem to be short a lot these summer days!

So, Lord, would you give me favor and provide a position for me! And thanks that I get a holiday in between!

You every feel slimey????

You know the feeling you get after being with someone that is constantly negative? I've had a rough week with that! I had a nurse over the weekend that was so negative I wanted to wear ear plugs and puke at times. I just end up feeling bummed and slimed. I also saw a friend who is often very negative and it is tough to sit through our time together sometimes.

Boy, I sure don't want to make people feel slimey. I want people to feel encouraged when they are around me. I want to speak into my friends' and family's lives in a positive way.

I guess being around those kind of people reminds me to watch my own attitude and the way I effect those around me. Jesus, make me more like you and please be my shield around slimey people.

I'm into learning how to soak.

I am feeling drawn into a place of soaking with my Jesus. I need to make space for myself to just rest in His presence and get to know Him in a new way. I am really enjoying this thing of prayer...but I don't want to find myself always talking and not resting and listening.

So, I need to start to put on a cd and lie there. Let myself rest in His presence. Let Him speak to my soul and revive me. I felt that presence and nearness all day.

I had a day off today. Today and tomorrow are my weekend (I worked all weekend). It is actually really nice to have my days off in the middle of the week because I actually get to spend them resting at home. When my days off are on the weekend, I tend to fill them with a lot of fun things. But it isn't necessarily resting.

So, I've enjoyed some time in the Word today. I've enjoyed putting on worship music and going for it in my kitchen as I make supper. I've enjoyed dancing His peace over my bedroom. I've enjoyed talking with my Friend. This is such intimate time and I love the contentment that comes with it. I don't want the end of the day at home to come. I've really enjoyed the rest and presence of my Friend. I know that He is always with me...I've just loved our time together today and don't want it to end.

I like the rainy days at home....

I know that most people are on a huge rant of complaining about the weather these days. I had hoped to go to the beach on my last few days off....but ahhhh....I'm also content to spend windy, rainy days in my cozy appartment. I really actually like rainy days. Not so much the dreary ones that are cloudy without any rain, but the ones when it is pouring. I like those ones!

So, on this rainy day, I:
-slept in until noon!
-chatted on the phone with my hubbie and some family members
-will be listening to a teaching cd...the last one of a course I've been taking since January
-finishing off the exam that I have to send in to complete the course
-baking some fruity muffins...yummmmmm
-starting all over again on a resume that I had started and can't find on the computer! (Tomorrow is July and that means that I can start applying for jobs! I gotta be ready!)
-having a relaxing bath/shower
-making some supper for my hubbie and I
-going to the last housegroup for the summer

So, I'm pretty content with the sound of my day. Ahhhh.....

Babies, babies everywhere!

I worked a 12 today and it was jam packed with excitement! First thing this morning I saw my first delivery of twins! So cute!!!! It was extra special for me, because I kept of thinking about my Shaner who thinks he wants us to have twins one day! Yikes! It's not like you can plan those sort of things! And oooo....so much more work when there is two!

Then I saw another delivery this afternoon. It was insane! We had a mom who had never had a baby before...usually that means they take a long time laboring. Well, she shot from 4 to fully within 2 hours! We weren't prepared at all for delivery, nevermind the fact that we were using one of the tiniest rooms that we can't really deliver in and therefore had to relocate to another room! Then we had all kinds of issues at delivery with the babe and had to do some resusitation stuff! Yikes! I wish I knew more so that I could be of more help in the middle of the emergencies! I'm a little useless in the crisis moment and in the OR!

Last, but not least, I got to see my first manual removal of a retained placenta. Sorry if I am totally turning everyone off from ever reading this blog again! I had never seen someone sedated with the meds that this anesthesiologist gave the patient. I could help but laugh behind my mask as the patient was coming back to reality. The comments she was making were hilarious! Too bad that you really can't fully hide that you are trying so hard not to laugh because it totally shows in your eyes! That was some trip she was on!

And to end the evening off beautifully, I got home a little while ago to a very special note from Shane written on our white board by the telephone. One of my dear friends from back home is having her first baby! She's 3 months pregnant! I so desperately want to talk to her about it...but they are having date night tonight so she's not home! I'm sort of bursting to tell the world!

I need to calm down...and it is sort of making me crazy that I'm in an appartment, alone, for the rest of the evening after all the crazy excitement. I think I need some ice cream. Freezer, here I come!

Could I be a Nazirite?????? Could you be called to a lifestyle of a Nazirite????

"In the Scriptures, Nazarites were people of extreme devotion to God who, among other things, left their hair uncut as a mark of their consecration. By their long hair they were saying, in effect, "We are not interested in seeing how little we can get by with in our devotion to God, but how far we can go. We are literally exploring the lengths of consecration."

Another characteristic of Nazirites was that they did not drink wine or eat raisins or grapes, all of which represented the sweet pleasures of life. Abstaining in this way from the product of the grape was a Nazirite's way of saying that none of the pleasures of this life could equal the pleasure of knowing God intimately.

Persons of similar bent are arising in the Church today. Although they may not necessarily bear any visible outward mark of their identity, such as long hair, like their counterparts of old, these new radicals for God have a strong sense that they are called and set apart for a holy purpose. God has marked them as Nazirites.

Nazirites are special people. As the Old Testament reveals, God raises them up when His people are in great distress because they have succumbed to spiritual and moral decay. Time and time again throughout Israel's history, Nazirites turned the tide of spiritual and national degeneration.

Casual measures are not enough. The need of the hour demands something more: radical abandonment to God and extreme commitment to His holiness. This is the Nazirite call. This is the spirit of Elijah, and it is sorely needed in this hour."
(Elijah's Revolution by Jim Goll and Lou Engle)


So, I've always felt a little different. I don't know if I can explain it properly, and it may sound a little funny. I don't think that I am better than others at all. Bear with me as I try to explain.

Grew up in a more traditional church....never felt like I belonged. I was always disappointed with what was happening at church and wanted far more than I was seeing.

I've always felt older. Like maybe I'm too serious about a number of things. I feel so strongly about certain issues, like purity, marriage, honesty, holiness, that I sometimes have a hard time interacting with loved ones that are walking differently. I feel so strongly about holiness that I just can't fake it.

Sometimes I've wondered if I'm just a tad bit religious....you know in the midst of questioning why I feel the way I do. But, maybe it is something more than that. Maybe all along I've been called to something that just has looked a little different than normal. Values that I feel strongly about, because God feels strongly about. Maybe I am partnering with His ideas, values, morals and passions.

If God is calling me to live a life set apart for His purposes and His holiness, I want to do it. Wait, not"if", God is calling us to lives that are set apart. So, I'm in. I want to be apart of the army that is going to change this world through consecrated lifestyles and intercession. And I want my calling and destiny on this earth to be about calling others to lives that are set apart for the Kingdom. It has to be more than the past. It has to be more than half-hearted. It must require all of us. It must consume us daily. It can't be something that we forget about on certain days or put on the shelf when it doesn't conveniently fit the situation we are in. I don't want to preach a message that accommodates sin and individual preferences.

I want to put out a call to holiness and lifestyles that are set apart. Are you with me?

Ahhh.....great evening!

Seeing as it is 12:30am...and I could be sleeping but am not.....why not write up a quick blog! See, I'm done my stretch of 3 nights...and slept an 8 hour day, so this is normally the time that I'm up and working! I am a little tired but I probably could stay up longer. I'll do a quick blog and then I'm off to bed!

I love my girlfriends! I had a fabulous evening with a few of them! Loraleigh, Christina, Steph, Shauna, Bonnie and I all spent a great evening together! We first met at the movie theatre and watched The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants. I totally enjoyed it! I pity any man who sits through it, but it is wonderful to see with a bunch of girls! I just had to give them all a nice, close hug after that heartwarming girly movie!

Then we went over to the Fyxx for drinks and chatting. We sat on the patio and enjoyed the warm, beautiful weather. I didn't even notice the misquitos until the very end! I love hearing how each friend is doing and what's new! And being with a few unmarried girlfriends means there is usually a great love story or two in the making that we get to be filled in on! Ahhhh.....love.........of course there are lots of squeals and laughs!

So, to my beautiful friends, cheers! This is what I enjoy about the 5 I spent time with tonight!

Steph - the most incredible sister you could ask for; attentive; always excited about what is happening in other peoples' lives; gives awesome hugs; definitely encouraging!

Christina - a constant friend; helps out in the rides department which is a real blessing!; a great listener; full of life and anticipation for the future!; dependable

Loraleigh - what can I say, she's one of a kind!; wise; open and honest; always investing in my life; makes an effort to hang out and join us (and she has 3 kids at home); makes you feel heard

Bonnie - we go way back!; just like the movie had a group of 4 close girlfriends, we were part of a group of 4 in highschool!; also makes the effort to hook up babysitting and grace us with her presence; is often heard laughing to a story that someone is telling; gentle and sensitive; I'm encouraged by watching her grow and do life

Shauna - she is a hoot!; always making you laugh; talks in a way that everything sounds like a story; she is a longterm kind of friend; very enjoyable to be around; quality girl

I love my girlfriends! If you are reading this and thinking about your friends and how much you enjoy them, let them know! That is my challenge to you all today! Hug someone and tell them what you love about them!

Craving sleep....hardly oriented anymore.......

-prayer at our place tonight....looking forward to it!
-dreaming about sleeping
-got my first IV finally started this morning! I am SO relieved, and proud of myself! And on top of it, the patient said she didn't feel a thing! And I even poked her a total of two times, one to draw blood and one to start the IV! I did good!
-the weather is beautiful
-tomorrow I get to enjoy the company of some great girlfriends....looking forward to that too!
-hope to not dream about work
-cranky nurses can be very upsetting to me - I have a really hard time working with them and not letting them get to me!
-I'm a fan of apple juice

Goodnight.

Ahhhh...soon I will sleep!

Back on nights at the hospital. When I came in last night there was only 1 patient written on the board! I had never seen the board so empty. Well, 9 minutes into my shift, our first baby was born. That was fast and exciting!
Then, we got another laboring patient as the previous one was being transferred to another unit. I was totally involved in that delivery too! The doctor made the delivery (whew!), but my buddy nurse, whom I had only met that shift, had me do pretty much everything surrounding the delivery and recovery time. Wow! I think I'm starting to do this stuff a little better! I did all the charting, timed all the important events like the birth of the baby and placenta, did the baby vitals, did the newborn assessment, did the cord gases, etc, etc. I did most of everything, minus mom's checks! Wow, can language barriers be frustrating! My patient hardly understood any english! That is tough!
It was a really busy time, but I felt competent! I love that feeling!

So, I'm going to bed for the day now. It is so hard to go to sleep when I'd rather be starting my day with the beautiful weather outside! But, I got to take a walk in the beautiful outdoors for part of my trip home this morning! I'll quickly get to sleep so that I can enjoy the beautiful weather in the evening when my husband is home to enjoy it with me!

And, on one last note, happy father's day to my dad and all the other dads out there! We had a nice Father's Day and celebrated here at our appartment! That was actually a really nice change from the extended family gathering. Life is too complicated for too many extended family gatherings as we all get older. And frankly, I'd rather use these opportunities to spend time alone with my immediate family members! It was sort of like having a family gathering at my place! Kinda strange to think of it that way! I, with the help of Steph and Shane, cooked a big meal of what we call "The Earl's Dish", made a caesar salad and a homemade chocolate cheesecake! Mmmmmmm!!!

Off I go to bed! Have a beautiful day, y'all!

It is a little belated, but.....better late than never!

HAPPY FIRST ANNIVERSARY TO MY HUSBAND!!!!!!!!

Our first anniversary was yesterday, the 12th of June. I'm so the reflecting and more emotional person of the two of us, therefore I had to reflect over the day by looking at wedding pictures and watching our wedding video. It was nice to listen to our vows we wrote a year ago and know that I would say them again today in a flash. I loved our wedding and it is so nice to think back...though a little bittersweet as it means it is only further and further into the past. A small part of me feels sad about that, but a HUGE part of me feels so excited about where we are now and the future ahead! I wouldn't go back at all! Only forward! I love marriage! So, welcome to year #2!!!! We'll see what's in store......!!!!!!!!

New steps........exciting and nerve-wracking!!!!!!

At 2:30pm today, I got a call which ended in hearing myself agree to sing....yes, sing....at Encounter God Night tonight. I am still in shock that I heard myself saying yes! I have had butterflies since that phone call and think I might be sick if I eat anything before I go!

I really don't sing...well, in public, or by myself, that is. In the shower, to a cd, with a church congregation, yes. In a mic, on a stage, no. Well, tonight that will be different. I don't think I have a great voice, at all. Generally I can keep a tune, but not all the time!

Strangely, this feels like a natural step in obedience. That sounds funny even to me. Natural? Hardly. Obedience? To what?

I just have a feeling deep within that small step of obedience, even when they are uncomfortable, are often the building blocks to even greater things. Strangely, this feels like one of those moments. If we are faithful with the little things, which I think even include little moments of stepping out and saying yes, we will be entrusted with much!

So, I say, BRING IT ON, LORD!!! ALL THAT YOU HAVE!!! I SAY YES, EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS STRANGE OR UNCOMFORTABLE!!!

(and would you please pray, fellow bloggers??? I'm a little nervous and really hope I don't totally suck!)

A busy baby day......

Today was a full day at work! I saw 2 deliveries, very much different from one another! One, a grand multip....which means your 5th or more baby...well, this one was well above the number 5! She made it look extremely easy! Also, that was a midwife delivery which is always a little interesting for me.....it is different what you do as the nurse when the care provider is a doctor or a midwife. The mom got a lot of use out of my hand throughout that labor! I think I'm going to have finger print bruises tomorrow!

As for the other, I was able to see an instrumental delivery for the first time. Not something that I hope to have to observe....it is unfortunate! I saw forceps used to get baby out. I like the natural way better!

Also on a baby note, but a happier one, I saw Brad and Colleen, from our housegroup, at the hospital today! They had a beautiful baby girl on monday and named her Naomi Grace! She has a head of dark hair and is very cute! Mom seems to be doing quite well and dad, Brad, is beaming with pride! I'm so happy for them! Congrats guys!

Well, tonight I'm having an evening with my sister! Oh, I really like her and am looking forward to spending some sister-time tonight! Shane's running off for boys night, so I'm having a girls night with my favorite gal!

Have a good one!

"According to the Scriptures, a prophetic "Elijah" generation will arise also in the last days to prepare the way for His second coming. It will be a "faceless" generation in the sense that there will be not only highly visible leaders or "point" people who have incredible encounters with God. God also will place His prophetic presence on an entire generation, and they will walk in holiness and absolute surrender to Him, enjoying face-to-face intimacy with Him to an unprecedented degree. Yes, an entire generation of radical warriors shall arise!

This prophetic generation will not be interested in recognition, reputation or in making a name for themselves. Their only concern will be the glory of the Lord in the earth. Through prayer and fasting they will birth spiritual awakening and revival on a global scale that will bring deliverance to people in every land."

-From the book, Elijah's Revolution by Jim Goll and Lou Engle


Lord, would we be the Elijah generation.
Would You encounter us.
Would Your prophetic presence be on us.
Would we walk in holiness and absolute surrender to You.
Would we know You, face-to-face.
Would You make us radical warriors!
May our only concern be Your glory.
Would You teach us how to pray and fast.
Would You use us to birth spiritual awakening and revival on a global scale.
Would You impact our lives and our generation with the promises of Joel.
That we would prophesy, that we would dream dreams, that we would see visions.
Pour out Your Spirit on us in these days, in this time.

Walking in the fullness and the waiting......

You know when God gives you a vision or even just in inkling...or gives you little tidbits of what could possibly be instore?
You know that strange place where you are going forward yet almost feeling like you are standing still, waiting for the release? Waiting to know which way to go and when to jump in?

There are aspects of these thoughts happening in my life lately as the end of my life as I know it comes to a close. It is strange because for the last 22 years of my life, I generally know what is to come. Each year of school before grade 12, I knew that the next year would consist of the next-higher grade. I guess when I graduated the world was wide open and I chose what I wanted to do, other than education, for a year. The next year I chose to go back to school with hopes of becoming a nurse. Each year I know that in September I will be returning to school to work towards this dream. Well, this year is different.

The only thing that I know for sure, calendar-wise, is finishing my practicum July 20, going to Kansas City with my hubbie at the end of July for 10 days and writing my national RN exam on August 10. That's about it. The rest is wide open......waiting to be filled.......

And so, we pray. It is an exciting place to be at. Wide open doors. No job established at this point. No school to return to in September. A husband that is open and willing for new things. And a marriage that is hopeful for adventure and guidance into great and marvelous things that further our calling on this earth and into our eternal destiny.

"In this hour God is birthing a new refined prophetic faith message in the hearts of His children. To a people who cannot, He is saying, "I will do it through you. I am the God of breakthrough, the God of change. I am El Shaddai, the Almighty; I am Jehovah Jireh, your Provider. I will make a way where there is no way. Step out in obedience into that which you know not of, and watch what I will do".

And the trend continues....

So, as Erica commented, the effect that seems to be following me in the labor room, may be something that moms would really like....getting to fully in quick time!

Tonight I got to have another laboring patient. I (ya right...it's not really me at all) didn't do quite as well with the effect tonight. Instead of 3 to 10 in an hour, it was 7 to delivered in 1 hour and 45 minutes. The only thing was....I was by myself at 9cm!!! That was kinda freaky! I was a little afraid that this baby was going to come too fast! I got mom to pant through her urges to push for 15 minutes so that she could dilate that 1cm more and so that another nurse would come in before she started to push. Well, I quickly called the other nurse, I checked mom, and low and behold, FULLY AND HEAD RIGHT THERE!! Well, the doc made the delivery by 4 minutes on the nose!!!! Thank goodness!!! I felt so responsible for everything and everyone....mostly because my buddy was on supper and missed the delivery! So, the other nurse was helping me, but I felt like I was the one that was trying to be "the nurse" and doing the stuff!

Aww.....such a cute baby! Alert, content and adorable! I love it when the dads/grandpas ask me how many children I have. It is such a compliment to me because I assume...and will keep on assuming for the nice feeling it brings......that they ask because they think I look natural with the little ones!!! That is such a nice feeling!

I must say, it is a wonderful feeling to love your job. I've worked multiple jobs ranging from working with mentally-challenged adults, being a Santa Clause photographer, health care aid, retail worker at Please Mum, and finally a receptionist. Some jobs I've enjoyed more than others. But, I've not extremely enjoyed any of them to this extent. I hate the feeling of dreading going to work and being there and counting down the hours. Well, I had the great feeling this morning of actually waking up looking forward to this evening's shift! I was looking forward to coming to work! That is a great feeling! I love my job....well, it really isn't an official job....but what the heck, I LOVE IT!!!

And I worked the night away.......

That is one bad thing about having a busy evening shift and then coming home to bed. I dream about work ALL night long! I dreamt about my patient from last night and did vital signs on her all night! That sucks!

It was a good shift though! I saw/assisted/whatever a delivery last night! It is strange the pattern that happens to be forming lately. I get all these moms who are 3-4 cms forever and then shoot to fully dilated (10cm) within an hour! What is with me!!! hee hee...no it's not me! It just makes for very eventful deliveries that the doctor's can't seem to make! Yikes!

Ahhhh...well, I'm going again tonight! It should be a good time!

Today begins another week....

I don't mind mondays generally. Sometimes the weekend is so full that I look forward to the week! That sounds a little strange, but true sometimes! Especially this weekend...it was pretty full! But with great things! It was filled with Nightwatch, a Kareoke party at our friends' place, cleaning the house, church, napping and a family gathering.

Saturday morning/afternoon I got to spend 4 solid hours with my good friends Stephanie and Loraleigh, eating yummy waffles and praying for one another. I love those two! I love the encouragement and prophetic times that happen when we are together!

So, today I get to go back to work. I'm actually looking forward to the evening shift! I must say, the day shift is just tooooooo early for me! I'd far rather sleep in and stay up later! Also, a bonus about today's shift is that I get to go for coffee with Kendra first and then we are both working the evening shift! How fun is that! I will be seeing her face around the ward! That is so cool!

So, I want some time bumming around the house and getting ready before I'm outa here! Have a great day!

Dizzy....dizzy....dizzy......

Ahhhh. I'm feeling a strange sense of dizziness. I think it came from being cooped up in a small, unventilated classroom ALL DAY LONG. I suddenly felt extremely dizzy by 4pm....and all the way home on the bus. That is not the best place to feel dizzy!

But, the bright side is.....I'm finished the labor part of orientation! It was very informative but WAY too long! They don't even make us sit that long in school! It was quite tortureous at times! And I just CANNOT hide it when I'm dying!!!! That is one very bad part about my personality! I'm often an open book...and in those kind of instances, it is NOT a benefit!

So, back to the ward I go....I like that! It is a little more nerve-wracking, but a lot more fun! And the days go by quickly! So, tomorrow, bright and early, I'll be back there!

But, as for tonight, I think Shane and I are going to use a lovely gift certificate that he recently won from work, to treat ourselves to dinner and therefore a date at Moxie's! I'm not in the mood to eat anything that we have here at home and I haven't prepared anything! So, someone else cooking my meal sounds GREAT to me!

Hello all!

Good times keep on rolling! I worked this fine day...ahhh...holiday monday. But, it is great for the reason that administration isn't around on weekends or holidays! I like it better that way!

I had a nice day at work! I was wondering how easy it would be to fall back into sync....since I haven't been on the ward for a week due to orientation. Well, today I got 3 of my own patients...and their babies. I felt so proud.....like a real nurse! I had my mom and baby checks done nice and early and popped in multiple times throughout the day, even just to chat with mom. I like being able to do that with my patients! And when they are only mine, I have the freedom to plan my time management in my own way! I like that too! That way I can make sure everything gets done, and do it right away. I don't want to be one of those nurses that says they will do something and always forgets! That sure doesn't build trust with your patients!

On another note, I've been having terrible sleeps at night this weekend! I toss and turn for hours! No fun at all! And I'm dreaming away once I finally get to sleep...sometime good, sometime yucky dreams. Last night was another sucky night. I'm sure hoping tonight is a whole lot better!

Well, I'm just waiting for my hubbie to come home from enjoying the long weekend monday golfing with a good ol' friend. Good for him! I suppose I really should clean the house, since we didn't get to it this weekend!.....but maybe I'll have some God time while I still have the appartment to myself!

Ta ta for now!

Rain, rain, go away, come again another day.....

I generally like the rain. I like the feeling I get on rainy days....wanting to curl up on the couch, read a good book, have a nap, snuggle....
But today I wish the weather were nicer. We are supposed to go out to a bonfire at my dad's place tonight....and I'm not sure what will happen with the rainy weather! That is disappointing!

I love sleeping in saturdays! I've been so tired this week....and I really don't like that! I'm going to make my hubbie and myself some pancakes for brunch....yummy! I'm getting pretty hungry!

Good things are happening in my life. I like my life. I like my marriage. I like my home. I like my job. I like the people I work with. I like my housegroup. I like my church. I like my dancing partners. I like Winnipeg. I like my family. I like my God times. I like my Best Friend and His presence near me. And He does seem quite tangible in the last few weeks. I like it that way!

A nice day today.....

I had a nice day today getting a bunch of stuff done that needed to be done! I had a nice visit with my wonderful friend Loraleigh. I got to chat with her, talk about what God is doing in our lives and the dreams for our futures, see her beautiful children and get my baby fix holding Manoah!

Then I was off to the dentist! Generally I fear that place, but my dentist's office is so happy and visually inviting that it takes some of the scare away. The hygienist was also great because she talked to me about nursing (she took 2 years of it) and it really took my mind off the procedure. I didn't even have much time to watch tv! I love that they have tvs! And a good report! No cavities and the dentist says I have beautiful teeth!

I then went to the University to get some paper work done for student loans. That is a bit of a pain, but I'm incredibly thankful that I got today off so that I could get all these things done! Now it is done and I won't have to start paying them back as soon! It was strange to be back on University property! It feels like it has been a while!

I am now on my way to pick up my hubbie from work. I was able to come home and do the exam for a course I am taking in between! It was all about prayer and this exam was easier for me to answer than the other two. I guess I have more to say about prayer than Christlikeness or humility. Boy, that humility one was a tough one!

Anyways, enjoy your evenings! I will enjoy mine....ahhhh....relaxing with my hubbie, going to the Y, and getting to bed early! Right on!

I am blessed.......

-to wake up beside my husband this morning
-to sleep in
-to have snuggle time this morning! ahhh.....snuggles!
-to have warm showers
-to have a yummy brunch made for me
-to have a day off
-to spend my day off with my best friend (on earth.....second to Jesus, of course, hee hee)
-to have a car to drive around during the day.....to visit BestBuy
-to have a great new Bible to read
-to have great friends and family to call and email
-to have a nice, cozy appartment which I love and call home
-to have plans in the evening which are fun
-to go home with the husband and not have to say good-bye
-to know that tommorrow is a nice day full of church, Encounter God night and other events
-to know that tommorrow is another day off...and therefore I can sleep in longer than normal!

Ahhh.....yes, blessed.

I'm flying high tonight!!!!!!!

I had a great night at the hospital! I finally got a laboring patient and got to be apart of my first vaginal delivery of my senior practicum! It was incredible and I'm totally wired!

It was such a special time and the family that we worked with was great! The dad was the greatest coach! This was a young, unwed couple, but they were great together! Dad was coaching her through her breathing, her contractions, giving her water or ice chips every few minutes and wiping her brow with a cold cloth! He was so sweet and at times he sounded like an eager waiter! I even told him he sounded like a waiter!

Dad, mom and both grandmas were crying at delivery....and because of all the crying around me, I totally was tearing up! I didn't have tears fall, but I totally started to cry along with them! It was really special!

I got to do so many things that I haven't done yet! I got to watch another epidural being put in (yuck! yuck! that looks so wrong!), did two internal exams, tried to start another IV, a whole heck of a lot of charting, learning how to read the graphs of baby's heart rate and the contractions, baby's initial assessment, length, weight, head circumference, baby's first bath, help out with baby's first breastfeed, give baby a needle in the thigh, etc. etc. It was a jam packed evening and incredibly fun!!!! I will definitely do that again!

I absolutely loved it! And working with a great family makes it all the more enjoyable! Dad requested a picture of baby with the nurses....so I'm in the baby pictures for life! I'm so honored to be apart of such an incredible time in peoples' lives. I'm so blessed.

Another episode of LDRP.....(instead of ER......)

Yesterday was a good evening again! I got to try my first attempt at starting an IV. Now, my preceptor took me over to triage to let the nurses there know that if they had any IVs or blood work, they could call us in LDRP and we would come on over and do it! We came at the right time because just then one of the nurses was going to start an IV. The patient was the perfect one to do my first IV on...though of course I would never have told her that it was my first time!...because she was pleasant, relaxed and had pretty visible veins to work with. It worked fairly well....but I did feel like I was all thumbs setting everything up! I picked a vein and went for it. I got in...through very thick skin!......got blood back (we want that...to make sure we are in the vein)....started the IV drip to see if it would flow. No flow. Bummer. I must have hit an inconvenient valve. Well, I didn't want to poke mom twice, so my preceptor did the next try. She's a pro at IVs. Well, she did the same thing. Stupid valves. The seasoned nurse finally got the IV in....and made a big mess in the process. So, my technique was great....we just picked a candidate with a lot of valves. Darn it! Maybe next time!

I'm starting to catch on a little more about teaching moms how to breastfeed and making sure they are getting good latches. I spent a good half and hour with one of my moms yesterday trying different holds, assess the latch, etc. I was right in there! It sounds so funny to hear the words coming out of my mouth..."have you tried the football hold?", "now make sure baby's mouth is wide open" (I'm trying to keep my words sensored here for all the males who aren't comfortable with the topic of breastfeeding!).....I'm starting to sounds like I know what I'm doing and can offer mom tips about what to do and how to do things more effectively! That feels good!

I also got to do my first initial newborn assessment. You look baby over from head to toe, check out every area and make sure everything is visibly working. It is fun! It is like a little investigation....until baby is crying and you just want to hurry things up so that baby calms down! You assume the role of inspector. Inspecting for birth marks, all 10 fingers and 10 toes, bruises from birth, etc., etc. There are many big words on that assessment sheet....so I'm going to have to try to remember what they all mean, in case I see a baby with any of those variations from "normal".

So, I could say a bunch more...but then my blog will get too long! Tonight is my last evening shift until the end of the month. I get the weekend off! I haven't seen my hubbie, besides a quick kiss he gives me as he is leaving for work in the mornings, since tuesday evening! So, I'm very excited to see him tonight when he picks me up at 11:45pm!!!! I got home to a very cute little note last night at 12:30pm. We have a white board in the kitchen and he had written in big letters, "I miss my wife and my buddy", accompanied by a sad face with a little tear. Awwww.....isn't that sweet! That is a nice welcome home in the middle of the night!

Eating up the Word.....

Just thought I'd post a little thing about the prayer room....from Joel's comment on my last post. I absolutely loved the time in the prayer room last week. It was so great to commit an hour or two a day to drive across the city and intentionally pray for an extended period of time. I'm totally blessed that Shane and I could do this together!

I'm totally enjoying my time at home this week. I purchased a new Bible on monday night and am enjoying it thoroughly. I am still taking my "hour in the prayer room" times.....while I'm at home and Shane is at work, where I read/pray/worship for an hour uninterrupted. That means if the phone rings, I won't answer it. And that is a big step for me! It has been working really well this week because I'm working evenings so I have the mornings/early afternoon to myself at home. When I switch to the day shift, I will just have to be a little more intentional about taking that hour when I'm not alone at home.

So, peace is still around. God is very present and I am really enjoying my times in the Word. I just have been feeling a little stressed right before my shifts. I think it is just getting used to everything. I'm feeling good today though!

I had a great shift yesterday evening with a new preceptor.....I worked with my second preceptor for the first time yesterday. She is super nice...but she does test me more than the other girl. She is really informative though and super affirming. She is always telling me and others what a great job I'm doing! That is really nice to hear! I told her the certain skills that I'm nervous about doing and she walked me through a few. I started an IV on a towel last night, just for practice! I haven't started one yet on a human....and really am not looking forward to causing anyone any pain!

So, off I go! I think today I might have a laboring patient according to what my preceptor said yesterday! That would be fun! I'll let you know what happens!

I guess I may have a little stress filtering through my mind and the subconscious. I have been having crappy sleeps filled with dreams of work each night, yesterday included. I am constantly working with moms and babies in my dreams. Last week I even woke up after a night shift worried that I had to breastfeed my baby because it had been 2-3 hours since I have previously! I reassurred myself that I didn't in fact have a baby and therefore had no need to breastfeed! For goodness sakes!

So, I'm off to work in the next 2 hours....and though I'm excited to be there, I'm still a bundle of nerves. I'm a little worried about what this shift will hold. I have no idea what I'll have to do! And the fear of the unknown frightens me! I'm really looking forward to knowing what I'm doing one day and not being so brand new at this all. But, in reality everyone has to start out knowing nothing and it can only get better and more comfortable from here, right?

So, if you think of me this afternoon/evening, would you say a prayer of peace? I want to be saturated in the peace that passes all understanding so that I can handle anything. I want to be so secure in my destiny in Jesus that smaller things and anxieties don't throw me off. I really want my perspective about the time I am given to spend with these families to be my ministry and one of my areas of serving Jesus. I don't want to get so busy in my head that I forget to pray throughout my shift. That is so important!

Thanks so much to all of you that encourage me, affirm me and comment! I really feel your support and thank-you for your prayers! They mean a lot to me! Your support is so special to me during this new and a little frightening time. So, buckle up Kristi........here we go!

Tickled pink!

I just got off the phone with my unit manager. You know how I was a little bummed by my schedule when I first got it? Well, she is proving to be pretty nice to me! Some orientation dates were arranged for me next week. These new dates were going to put me on a 12 day stretch between classroom and ward days. That is a long stretch!!! Too long for me, I'd say! So, she calls me this afternoon to tell me that she took me off an evening and is giving me the saturday and sunday of the May long weekend off as well! Isn't that incredibly thoughtful!?! I'm so pumped! That means that my next two weeks...besides the next 3 evenings....are all day shifts during the week! That is a sweet schedule!

Also, she has heard awesome things about me from the nurses on the ward! I'm so honored! They have said great things like I'm willing and eager to learn and jump in, I'm fitting in well, etc. The unit manager is very pleased from what she is hearing about me, being only 4 shifts into my practicum! Yes, favor Lord!!! This is positive ammo in regards to future employment!! Yippeee!!!

Day #2 off!

It is pretty nice to have a few days at home in between shifts! I like days off! Yesterday I relaxed around the house, cleaned the appartment, had a whole bunch of time in the prayer room (well....I made my bedroom the prayer room) and made lasagna for my family who came for dinner. In the evening we went to Blessings and I got a new Bible!!! I'm so excited about it! It is kinda annoying to try to follow along with a different version during church and some verses that I know from childhood just sound the best in NIV. Also, my Bible has no index in the back and I was finding that very frustrating, espeically during Encounter God Nights and in the Prayer Room when I wanted to find a specific verse but didn't know where it was! So now I have an index! I wouldn't have known how important that is to me even a year ago. But it really is!

Today I slept in and dreamt that I was in Mexico with family members and classmates from nursing and junior high! But, I was annoyed with people and trying to find Shane, so it wasn't as enjoyable as it should have been!
I'm off to the get these ol' eyes tested.....I'm bracing myself for the need for new lenses. I really can't get around needing new lenses because my present ones aren't even the right prescription! Cheapo! Yep, you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes!

Enjoy your days! I'm going to read a bunch of my new Bible hopefully and read up on some material for the hospital! Tonight is set aside for my hubbie and I! I'm looking forward to some quality couple time! Adios!

And I love my job......

Ahhh....the sigh of a content, tired, happy student nurse. What a great shift. And since my hubbie is sleeping since before I returned from the hospital, and I don't feel right about calling anyone to chat at midnight, I will share my evening with all you blogger friends!

Tonight I had my first laboring patient. The other shifts I've always worked with the moms and babies after delivery....not during. Tonight was supposed to be my first shift with my other preceptor on LDRP. The way it worked out though, she became charge nurse and I was buddied up with a diffferent nurse, another young, nice, fairly newly graduated nurse (which is so totally not intimidating...and I really like that!).

Our patient was ideal. Lots of family support, hardly flinched through each contraction. The only way you knew she was contracting was by watching her toes wiggled under the blankets.

Let's just say, the evening got pretty exciting after we came back from supper. I ended up seeing the beginning of a standard, low-risk labor, which progressed into some concerns, and ended up finishing off with an emergency cesarean section. The best part was that I wasn't able to do everything the nurse normally would do, being the first day with a laboring patient, so I really was able to take more of a supportive role for mom. I rubbed her tummy, talked her through procedures, made her smile a few times with my comments and questions, and had the brainspace to spend some of my time praying. Especially as things were progressing into more concerning symptoms, it felt like I was standing back and watching the whole drama unfold, even though I was right in there. Because I wasn't crazy busy and focussed on charting and preping for the OR, I was able to pray for the mom and baby...technically with the laying on of hands really, because I was feeling her contractions with my hand and rubbing her arm, leg, tummy...depending on what was happening....in support.

I loved assuming the role of advocate. Though I don't pretend to know a lot, the amount that I do I am definitely willing to teach and share with the patients I work with. I felt like an advocate multiple times when relaying messages of the mom's wishes and rephrasing things to mom that the resident was saying! Oops....maybe I shouldn't have done that.....but heck, no! I am the patient's advocate and mom needs to understand in terms that she can comprehend, what is happening. It also is more of a challenge when the medical staff have accents. Then I really feel like I have to translate!

It felt so great to be in the middle of all the action! It felt like the medical thrill in movies! I happened to be the one at the head of the bed as we started to wheel the stretcher from the room to the OR.....so I became the one pushing the bed down the hallway and into the OR. Oh, I had a few such moments that just felt great! By, the end of the shift, as I was riding the elevator down to the locker room, all by my lonesome, I did a little victory dance in the elevator!

So, to my patient of the night who gets a very special mother's day present, all you mothers, and to my very own mother,
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Ahhhh......and the night passed by.....

Sleep didn't come to me so wonderfully this past night. Perhaps it is because I slept the day away. But, I think it was more about being overheated....then I just toss and turn!

Today is the last day of our church's 24/7 Prayer Experiment. I have had an incredible time being apart of the prayer movement that our church has participated in this week. I don't want it to stop! Prayer has gone on in our prayer room each hour since last saturday night! That is awesome! Shane and I have managed to commit this week to making it over to the church each evening. I didn't think that I was going to be able to make it there all week because of all my night shifts, but the idea of missing a day in the prayer room and not being at the corporate times was too disappointing to think about. So, forget that, I went anyways! And felt all the better because of it!

God's presence has been so strong in that room all week long. The peace that floods your soul when you enter and stay a while is pretty inviting. You just have to return! I have found drawn to this lifestyle. I want prayer to be my way of life. I want prayer to be me and Shane's way of life and the way we conduct ourselves, our future plans and eventually the way that we raise our children. I don't want the same old, mundane existence. I want the fullness of what Jesus has for us! There is power and excitement in following Jesus!

So, I'm praying that today the prayer doesn't stop. I'm praying that those who have participated and carried this thing this week would be challenged to keep on going. Rise up praying generation at WCV. Oh intercessors, rise up for this is the time. Things will be different. You have prayed and God has heard. There is no turning back now. Let us continue wholeheartedly. Pray, pray, pray without ceasing.

A crazy night for all........

Last one of the week, and the craziest of all. It was a very busy night! I realize that I'm so incredibly new at this and it just takes a little bit of craziness to show me that I have a whole heck of a lot more to learn!

Our night was run, run, run and don't stop. From crazy baby temperatures (too low or too high), over the general maximum amount of patient per nurse, crazy breastfeeding issues to fussy babies that don't want to pee but need to, babies with IVs (which I haven't worked with before) and generally great moms.

It was a busy night, but I felt a little out of my comfort zone with all the activity. Boy, how am I going to learn it all???? And I feel like the nurses all just "know" all the answers, but where do I find them? It can be a little overwhelming and a little frustrating....but all in all I'm having a good time and I'm not too stressed at all. I have a really relaxed preceptor who totally doesn't stress me out! Thank-you Jesus!

Off to bed! Nite!

I think I'm getting the hang of it!!!

2 nights down and 1 to go! And I feel even better this morning than I did the last! That is pretty good! I'm not going to admit it....but I think I'm not minding the night shift...don't tell anyone!

Fortunately I was able to sleep a solid day away yesterday....9:15am - 5:30pm! I'm so thankful for that! By the time 11:30pm came around I was a little sleepy because I didn't take an evening nap but I got an hour in at work which helped!

I am getting increasingly comfortable handling such teeny, tiny, new babies. They really just melt my heart. So far the ones I've worked with have been SO cute! I just love working with them! Though they aren't patients that you can reason with or even really communicate clearly with...so that can be a little difficult!

I did my first PKU this morning...which is a metabolic screening test they do on all newborns at 48 hours before they leave the hospital. You have to give their heel a little poke and color in these 6 little circles with baby's blood. It sounds a little sadistic saying it like that...but it is the general point. Anyways, I did my first 2 early this morning. It is so fun to have such a little one drapped across your lap. They are so warm and cuddly, and if they aren't crying through the process, some make cute noises right on your lap!

So, yes, I did another night of postpartum, no laboring moms. There is so much to learn that it is good that my preceptor is trying to get me knowledgeable on postpartum before I get thrown into labor and delivery. We've been full with postpartum! Even to the point of no extra beds on the unit! But, who knows what tonight will be about because over half are being discharged today! It could be interesting!

I'm off to have a bite to eat and then off to bed for the day! Good night! And have a nice day to all of you who are up and about!

I'm alive!!!

I made it through my first night of practicum! I'm alive, had a fine night and am off to bed for some sleep!

Thank-you for your prayers!

ps...no birthing stories from this shift because my preceptor and I worked with postpartum moms. But I got to pick up and handle brandnew babies!

Time is drawing near.....
One hour to go before take-off and one hour and forty five minutes still the fun begins!!!!

It is practicum start night and here I am eating and blogging before I get ready to go! Shane and I went to the corporate gathering in the prayer room this evening. It was actually a great idea for me to go. Originally my plan was to spend the evening sleeping at home before I do the night shift. I got some great tips and answers from Kendra (I'm increasingly thankful for that girl!), great supportive prayer from my ladies, and the peace in the prayer room was good for my soul tonight! I'm so blessed by all the support I feel by the people that I am growing to know more and enjoy more at the Centre. I really feel part of what is going on and I love it!

I'll try to give you an update in the next few days about how the start of practicum is going! Though I hope to sleep a majority of the day away! Also this is night 1 out of 3 so we'll see how it goes! If any of you are up at night, whether with a baby or for any reason, say a little prayer for me, k? Thanks!

Times are a-changing.....

We celebrated graduation this weekend...well, thursday and friday. It has been a fun last two days of partying!

Thursday night was the Faculty of Nursing Pinning Ceremony. I hadn't really thought about our grad until the day before. It hasn't been on the top of my priority list. Well, once we (Christina and I) got there and we're chatting with all the grads, including Kendra, I started to realize how special this experience really is! I started to feel really honored and proud to be finished my degree (except my senior practice which begins next week). I did four years of university and am emerging with an actual career! That is something to be proud about! And so I will be!

Here is a funny and sweet little story! During the Pinning Ceremony, we had to line up and each grad went up to the stage seperately to shake the Dean's hand and receive a pin. Before going up, someone read your name aloud for all to hear. Well, I was concentrating on not tripping while walking up the few stairs and across the stage to where the Dean was standing. I started to shake his hand when I heard, loudly, from the balcony......"Way to go, beautiful!!!". Well, the entire place heard it along with me and there was a buzz and some chuckles in the audience. My lovely hubbie had cheered very loudly for me. I was tickled inside, and a little embarassed as I, with a very red and warm face, finished shaking hands, explained that the fellow in the balcony was indeed my husband and turned to face the audience and walk back down the aisle to my seat. Ahhh....love.

Friday night, last night, was the party! We had our grad dinner and dance, tropical style, at Canad Inns Polo Park. It was really quite fun to dress up all formal, see my babe in a suit, and dance the night away! Boy, Steph and Christina have incredible endurance on the dance floor! They hardly stopped all night! I needed breaks in between for sure! My poor hips needed rest from all the swinging and shaking! A little different style than the regular worshipful sunday morning dancing (which I must say is still my fav).

So, now some doors in my life are closing and some are opening. Graduation really did signify the end of my time at the University of Manitoba and saying good-bye to all our fellow nursing students really was the end of something. Yesterday was also my last day at Unity Massage. I can't work there while doing my senior practicum because of the crazy shift work, and senior practicum is full time hours anyways. So, ode to the life as a student, the familiarity of the university campus and my nice job as a receptionist. Hello, ward nursing!

I begin my senior practicum at St. Boniface on Labor and Delivery on tuesday night. I begin on a set of 3 nights! Yikes! I hope that I adjust to my new schedule of life well! It should be an incredible learning experience and I hope to absolutely love my time there! I am going to miss all my evenings and weekends with Shaner though. There will be some weeks were we just pass like ships in the dark unfortunately.

So, off I go to relax a little more before bed! Ta ta for now!

Ahhhhhh......going for a massage today!

I'm pretty excited to relax for an hour and not have to give someone a massage back! It will be wonderful! This massage (yeah benefits!) and a hair cut this past weekend were two treats for being finished my semester!
I've spent this morning at home working on my proposal for practicum. My practicum schedule is looking better to me since my last post. I was pretty bummed but I'm adjusting now! I think I just might finish the proposal today! That would be such a load off! All exams for my degree are over and done! No more classes either! I'm almost there! I can't believe that the end is almost here. It went by really fast!

This thursday and friday are grad! It should be a fun time! It is going to be weird to say good-bye to all the fellow nursing students!

I've had a bunch of blogging thoughts in the last while, but I haven't taken the time yet to actually type them out! Maybe a little later! It takes less time to blog the regular life things and more time and thought to go a little deeper!

It has been a long time since my last post and today's post is not a great representative of what has been happening generally in my life lately...

It is kind of a crappy day. I've spent the entire day inside, going between studying for my exam tonight and tomorrow's too, and distracting myself on the computer.

My crappy day began with receiving the practicum schedule that I have been waiting for for weeks already! I finally got it......and it is pretty sucky. I work more weekends than I was told I would have to. I will have to miss a bunch of things in the next 3 months that I love. For example, I work 8 out of 11 sundays, including my first anniversary. Sundays are pretty special for me....and I will be missing most of them. I'm just pretty bummed about it. I had myself a nice, hands-over-face, cry out loud experience at the kitchen table this morning. If felt a little better but I might have to do it again. Not really a great day to have gotten the schedule with an exam this evening and no brain for it, or motivation to study. Well, good thing that I'm not worried about tonight's exam. It is tomorrow's that I'm concerned about.

So, to make this somewhat positive instead of all complaining, here are some positive parts:
- by 4pm tomorrow I am finished all my exams of my degree (beside my national RN exam in August)
- I get to go for coffee after my exam tomorrow with a good friend whom I haven't seen one-on-one in a while!
- At least I am doing my senior practicum in an area that I hope I absolutely love and therefore it won't be so difficult to miss out on other loved things.
- the good thing about working so many evening shifts is that I get to sleep in.
- starting with my first 3 shifts all being nights will be a nice excuse for why I'm totally disoriented and don't know anything
- having 4 plus preceptors means that I can learn a bunch of different styles and if I don't absolutely gel with one, there is still many others!
- my last day is July 20....so already there is secured dates for this process. I appreciate knowing the beginning and the end.

I'll have to post when I'm a little happier! Back to the books for another hour....exam starts in less than 2 hours! If you think of me, say a little prayer. Thanks!

Yesterday was my last day of classes forever........well, for now, probably not forever!

I have 5 exams left, 3 on tuesday and 2 the following week! And a heck of a lot of preparation to do for my senior practicum which is starting in a few weeks (May 2).

I had my site visit at St.Boniface Hospital yesterday. I met with the unit manager, found out who my preceptors will be for the first part and had a meeting with my faculty advisor. I have SO MUCH to refresh and learn before I start!!! Oh my goodness!!!! I hardly remember any of my
L & D stuff from second year! That was so very long ago!

I'm spending my first 6 weeks on LDRP and my second on L & D (high risk area). It should be an incredible learning experience and really hands-on compared to second year!

So, I'm really excited, and since my site visit, quite nervous about starting!!! It is going to be great!

Jumping over puddles hand in hand......

Ahhhh....love.........
Shane and I just arrived back at our appartment after a nice little date this evening! He wanted to take me out for a date... a little bite at Moxie's.

Unfortunately I got home a lot later than I had expected today and didn't know that he had these intentions! I was rushing home and wanted to take the faster route. Well, it ended up being the route with all the puddles! I was stuck in the field-like area behind our appartment surrounded by water. I could walk all the way back or just go straight into the water, hoping that it wasn't very deep! So, I went for it in my hurry.....and boy do I have a super wet shoe! I hope it dries before tomorrow when I need its services again!

When I arrived home I found out Shane's intentions, we decided to take a walk to the mall and have ourselves a little date! We looked around for a grad dress for me, but didn't really find anything. Then we enjoyed a bite to eat at Moxie's, some great conversation and hand-holding, eye-gazing from across the table.

Again I repeat, "ahhhhh......love......"

A highlight of my evening was the discussion we had at Moxie's. I love discussing our future, marriage, lives, what God is doing in us, etc. It is so exciting, sometimes challenging, but not usually boring! I have an incredibly great husband. I am so glad that I married him.

And now for the sweetest highlight......I was wearing flip flops for the first time this year and was getting pretty wet feet from the still-present puddles on the sidewalks. So, Shaner gave me a piggy back ride over the puddles to spare my feet from the water!!! That tickled my heart!

How sweet!

As the world weeps....

Today I am heartbroken. As I looked at the update on Terri Schiavo today, I began to cry. Terri Schiavo is dead as of this morning. Is life not sacred any longer? How far will we go to make the world convenient for those that have a voice? What about those that don't?

I weep for the ones that have no voice. I weep for the millions and billions of babies that have been denied life. I weep for those that have been murdered. I weep for those, like Terri, who have been treated less than human. People wouldn't even starve their pets to death, let alone a human being.

And yet, so many are confused with issues related to life and death. Being trained in a health profession has created some confusion for me as well. But I know that God has created life and He is the one who gives us breathe and takes it away. Why must human beings think that they have the right to take something so sacred into their own hands? And whose standards say what kind of life is worth living and which ones should be terminated?

OH GOD!!!!!!! OH GOD!!!!!!!! I CRY OUT FOR YOUR MERCY! WHEN WILL YOU COME???? WHAT CAN WE DO AS YOUR PEOPLE TO FIGHT FOR YOUR HEART AND YOUR WILL ON THIS EARTH????

So, I urge all of you to pray for Terri's family. And even more, I urge you to interceed and call out for the Kingdom and Will of God to be done on earth as it is in heaven. People we must pray as the times continue. There is much to stand in the gap for.

Tomorrow is Easter sunday and a few of us are doing a dance at church...

I don't usually get too nervous, but for some reason, I've got butterflies about this one. I don't really like that feeling! I've had quite the energy for this piece and as the practice and actual day have come closer I've been feeling a little nervous, excited and all the skipping heart feelings that accompany those types of emotions! It is sort of strange to be feeling these things! I almost feel a little stressed!

I pray that things run smoothly at our final run-through before church starts tomorrow. I pray that everything technical totally goes off without a hitch. I pray that everyone shows up...and on time. I pray that I have some balance for the parts that I do....I'm having a little trouble wobbling lately! I pray that each dancer involved takes ownership of their place in revealing the Bride of Christ to the rest of the observers and personally in their own lives. I pray that our movement and message is totally sparkled with the power of the Holy Spirit and that it gives off what God has planned for our hearts and time together tomorrow morning!

I must calm my heart and get some sleep! Sweet dreams and restful sleeps!

Here we are....Good Friday....

What an incredible day in our histories. This day is a monumental one in our lives as Christians. I love thinking about Jesus and the things He has done as my family heritage. Because it is!!! And I'm incredibly excited that all the future things He will do are my heritage and inheritance too! I can claim it for myself, because He gave it to me and paid the price for me to have it!

We watched The Passion for housegroup last night in the comfy couch room turned movie theatre (thanks to Cliff!). I love to be reminded about what Jesus did for me. At certain points in the movie, I found myself getting so mad at those religious leaders and Roman soliders who were on the front lines of beating and betraying Jesus. I really found that I had to look at the big picture of what Jesus was doing for the whole world or I could just be mad at the injustice of that one day and those few that were physically involved.

When you see the accounts of what happened on Good Friday so very long ago, it is almost difficult to figure out how you fit. This sounds silly because I have known from the beginning of my little life that Jesus died for my sins as well as everyone elses. As I was watching the movie last night I was thinking, "How do I fit into this story? What is the connection between my sins in 2005 and a Jewish man's death over 2000 years ago?". Without the eyes of my heart open and trusting in what God has said in His Word, it doesn't seem to make much sense to the average observer. I think I also was processing in this way because I had a small discussion about the movie with a friend at school earlier that day. She can't make it to mass this evening so she was planning on watching The Passion as her good deed of the day (she actually used these words...though being somewhat joking). So, while I was watching The Passion I was sort of thinking about her at some points and praying that the reality of what Jesus did would shine through this movie and touch her heart in a real way. That it wouldn't be just a movie or a story that isn't that important, but that it would change her entire world and perspective!!!!

So with faith I see the connection. With regular eyes it doesn't make much sense how the two connect, my life now and Jesus 2000 years ago. But I trust and believe that Jesus died for the sins of the world, and that includes mine. And I have the hope and the presence of the Holy Spirit to show me that it isn't just the past. That He is here with me today. That the Word of the Lord is active and living. That there is an incredible future instore!

I feel very intimately about Good Friday and what Jesus did for me. But I have such excitement about what happened 3 days later! (we'll get to that in a few days!).

Today I want to ponder about the sacrifice that Jesus was for me. I want to think about the intimate deed that He did. It is so beautiful.

"I feel good...dadadadadada......I knew that I would!"

I just arrived back from butts and guts at the Y...boy was that a work-out! I have been such a slacker and not going to the gym very often these past few weeks! But, wednesday nights are designated to butts and guts with my friend Crystal. It is so nice to have someone to go with because it gives you extra motivation to make yourself actually go each week! And it gives you someone to groan with throughout the class!

So, now I feel that my body is worked.......so I should really be working my brain and studying for my exam tomorrow....especially since it is worth 40% and I haven't yet studied today!!! It is almost 8pm...my dad is planning on stopping by for a short visit....and I like to go to bed by 10pm.....THAT DOESN'T LEAVE MUCH TIME!!!! And here I am blogging of all things!

But, I must say, I procrastinated LIKE CRAZY last week when I had 3 exams....and got the best marks yet! It was pretty incredible....I may have to use procrastination as my studying plan! It worked like a charm last week!

Oh...well...I should at least do a little! Gotta brush up on my personality disorders! See ya later!

Not feeling so hot......

I've been feeling yucky the last few days...and I think I've had a wee too much pain relievers in the past 24 hours or so! I finally got on top of the pain and wham! I'm sitting in my third class of the day and suddenly feel wiped out. My head was so heavy, like a bowling ball, my fingers were tingling and I needed a nap badly! I'm feeling a bit better by now....but then my feet started tingling at the bus stop on my way home! This is NOT good! I am not a fan of pain meds.....and then this happens! I didn't go over the amount the bottle said I could take! Oh well, this too shall pass!

As for date night last friday! I came home to take Shaner on the date and found flowers for me on the table! And a sweet "Just because I love you" card! A dozen beautiful roses! And since I didn't have a nice vase that would hold that many flowers, they are sitting beautifully in a beer glass! How romantic, eh?

We had a really nice supper at Pasquale's on Marion....a little quaint Italian restaurant. It was nice to gaze across the table and chat! It was like we were all young and dating again! (hee hee! that wasn't that long ago! and we really are still young!)
I'm generally pretty much on top of things, but I slipped up and forgot/just didn't book a bowling lane earlier that day. Work was super busy for me that day, strangely! So, since the everyone and their dog goes bowling on friday night in Winnipeg, we were out of luck! It was even packed for mini golf!
So, to end the evening, we dropped by the in-laws and chatted for a little while! And then headed home for some sleep! Ahhhh....I love sleep!

Speaking of sleep.....I think I need some!!

Tonight is DATE NIGHT!!!!!

I'm home for a quick lunch before I walk back to work. But, I just had to blog that tonight is date night with my hubbie!!! I asked him out earlier this week and he accepted the proposal of a night on the town with a mysterious woman....his wife! I'm definitely not mysterious! More like a complete open book for those that know me fairly well!!!

So, I would tell of our events, but I just can't!!! See it is a suprise for the hubbie and he may look on the blog before the night begins! So, I'll let you know how much fun we had tomorrow!!!

Enjoy the last friday of winter (technically)!!!

3 down, 1 to go!

Well, I finished the school week of 3 exams this afternoon! I only have 1 more next week and then a few weeks of nothing due, except one last paper, before my last set of exams!!! My last set of university exams for my whole degree! That is a wonderful thing!

My day off yesterday ended up being quite wonderful! I was expecting to stay home all day, minus the gym in the evening, but my plans changed a little! Shane gave me a call at lunch time and asked if I wanted to join him in the car as he drove around delivering some phones for work. I went along for the company dressed in my pjs without having showered or even washed my face yet that day! But, heck, I was only going to be sitting in the car with my hubbie! Then, Shaner decides he wants to have lunch together! Ahhh.....greasy as ever and not wearing appropriate clothing for the public! So, I decided to live a little and we dined at McD's......generally fairly disgusting...but a nice quick date, and pj's were fairly acceptable!

So, back to the books to cram for the 2 exams I had left. I accomplished a fair amount that afternoon....at least what I had left of it! So, after the gym I was going to get lots more done! Did I?????

Peer pressure by the husband caused me to abandon the books and dive into the world of superheros as facilitated by "The Incredibles". Such a cute movie and we really enjoyed ourselves! I was kicking myself a little at 10:30pm when I hadn't studied at all that evening!!!

Oh well, it's over, they're written. And the weekend is almost here!

ahhhhhh......

Well, I got great news yesterday that class today is cancelled! That never happens! So, it happens to be the wednesday morning that I don't work.....So......NO SCHOOL OR WORK!!!! I actually get a day in the middle of the week to stay home ALL DAY!!!! I can't remember that ever happening with classes!

I got to sleep in until 9am...then got up! I have two exams tomorrow, so it's not really a day off, but it feels like it! I'm going to start chili for supper, study, perhaps clean my house for study breaks, worship, and then go to the gym for butts and gutts this evening! I'm really looking forward to my day!!!

I've been processing humility and boldness lately.

I feel somewhat charged with what God is speaking to me. I feel the urge to be confident and bold and say things as they are. This hasn't always been the case with me. When I started dating Shane 4 and a half years ago (as of this week), I began to learn more and more through him, work and life about being more assertive. It also helped that I worked at a day program for mentally-challenged adults and had to learn quickly about enforcing boundaries and limits.

On the other hand I am really challenged to have a heart motivated by love and filled with humility. This was on my heart right after we got back from Kansas City and hasn't left me. Instead, the unit we started 3 or so weeks ago in a course I'm taking is.......yep......none other than.......HUMILITY.

I'm having quite the wrestle learning what God's definition is of humility. I don't want to be a proud person or one that is motivated by position/recognition....or anything like that. But, I also don't want to remain silent, be worried about offending people or beat around the bush. I'm tired of everyone's offenses and the fact that truth just can't, or isn't, being spoken.

So, Lord, create in me a heart motivated by Your love and that is filled with Your humility. Give the confidence in You to speak the message that You have called me to without any hinderences.

"Truth that comes by revelation always produces change; it always leaves us less sure of ourselves, more dependent on God, and more loving towards others" - Francis Frangipane

I delivered my first baby last night.

Hee hee! That is a shocking way to start a blog, eh?

Well, I dreamt that I started my senior practicum last night. And within my first shift I delivered a baby! (In reality, would NOT be the case) There is a strange part though that is open to interpretation....

I knew that the time for delivery was fast approaching and that if I wanted the potential chance of delivering this baby, I had better get some gloves! So, I reached over to get some gloves and when I looked back the baby's head was already crowning. So, looking back.....the head was originally coming first...like normal.

Well, as the delivery quickly progressed, I realized that I ended up delivering the baby feet first! (In real life here on earth, that position is not allowed!) I pulled on one of the baby's legs during the delivery. I remember thinking what I was doing was strange!

Then, when the baby was fully into this world, I took a look at her and checked her out and all. She was really tall/long and very mature for a baby! Like she wasn't really a baby by the look in her eyes.

Anyways, I thought about the dream this morning...thinking it was neat that I had delivered a baby in my dream! But, when I thought about it a little more and realized that different positions of the birth, I wondered if there was some significance......I don't know....

Dreams, dreams and more dreams.....

I've been dreaming a lot this last week.....about every night to every other night. It is becoming more and more frequent.

I had the weirdest thing happen! I had a dream about this cult-like group. I was driving my bug (car...I don't actually have one) and saw a car coming my way down what I thought was a road. This all took place in Winnipeg, around Confusion Corner. So, I, assuming it was a public road, started to drive down it as well. Well, that was a big mistake, because it was private property of this cult. They were.....mmmm....I could probably say sexual offenders and into a heck load of sexual immorality. The bizarre part was that I found out their name...and it was very specific. They were called "The JB (abbreviated) girls only club"....except that they had brought two guys into their group. I ended up talking with one of the guys who was planning on leaving the cult soon. I think he was a Christian at one time and knew that the "activities" that these members were participating in was wrong.

So, for the next two days I looked up JB on the internet to see what I could find.
Day #1 - I found:
- 17 year old boy that had died
- professional bull rider
- photographer
- baseball player

Shane even looked up "serial killer JB"....nothing.

So, Day #2, I looked up JB with a different last name thinking I may have gotten the last name a little wrong. Nothing really could be found. Then I thought, I'd attempt Shane's searching tactic and typed in "sex offender JB".......

There is one! A picture and all of him.......living in LA.

Now is that bizarre or what? .......I have no idea what that means!

Oh, if only to long.......

I am thinking today about how I long for food. When I see something that I crave, smell a wonderful food aroma or just think about the wonderful stuff, I feel a longing in my stomach and in the heart-area to partake of food. Both when I am hungry and when I am just desiring a specific type of food, I long for it. It is such a strong longing and desire that comes from within. Your tongue starts to get a little tingly and the salivation gets going in a greater way! It can be really tough to ignore those thoughts and feeling and not give your body what it craves.

I was thinking about this at the bus stop on the way home from University today. I want to long like that for Jesus. In a way that naturally comes from within. Whether I feel hungry or full, I still want to crave more! I want that body and heart longing and desire for Jesus. If we are created to long for Him, even greater than food, than something is mixed up here.

......and so I continue to discover more about fasting and longing........

I'm being stirred up.....and I think I may spin off into the heavens.....

"And I will sing the songs that awaken the dawn,
And I will usher in your appearing,
It's your face that I crave,
And it's your presence that I long for....."

On my walk to back to work this afternoon, I listened to Misty Edwards, a worship leader from Kansas City IHOP (on cd). I thought I may lift off the earth with the feeling that surrounded me. I had such a strong desire to dance on the sidewalk, but was quickly on my way back to work, that my arm was making circles beside me.....if my whole body couldn't dance at that moment, my arm was going to anyways!

I haven't blogged about my time in Kansas City yet, because I haven't had the words, or the time to sit and type. I don't know how to sum it all up. As seems to be the common theme of bloggers that went to IHOP, I am having a difficult time articulating as well!

I am challenged with the revelation of Jesus Christ.
I am overcome with the emotion that He can bring.
I am being drawn on a divine romance.
I am fascinated with the One I'm following.
I am so very curious about all the many facets of Jesus that I don't yet know.
My box of organization and control has once again been shaken.
I feel like my perspective has again been enlarged.
I feel like I've had a bit of fresh revelation of our Redeemer and Saviour.
I want to feed on the Word.
I want to medidate on the Scripture.
I want to study about our history, our present and our future as Saints.
I want to learn to sing the songs of the Lord.
I desire to flow in the Holy Spirit in a greater measure.

I really received a lot from the "meetings" we had with a few IHOPers. I was challenged to consider the future, the second coming of Jesus and being prepared. I was drawn to learn more about a fasted lifestyle. I was reminded of the gift that tongues can be. I enjoyed our time as a team, especially the fun moments and the intense 2 am prayer and prophetic times! I loved that! I felt a whole lot of anticipation about the present and the future. I feel excitement over were I am at and going and where our church is at and going as well!

There is so much I could say, and all the while, so little. So, more may leak out in the next few days...weeks.

"Take me with you. Come, let's run!" (Song of Songs 1:4)

Tomorrow....well, technically thursday....we leave for Kansas City....

My brain is thinking tomorrow night we leave....but it is technically an hour or two after wednesday is over and thursday has begun. I'm starting to think of what to pack and how to limit what I bring! I sure learned that the hard way on our honeymoon! Boy, did we have to pay extra on Sunquest Airlines for my stupid suitcase! That totally sucked!

I have a little prayer request for you all! I had this awful experience in junior high on the way home from camp. I had to pee so badly that I was bawling in the back of the bus. I even waddled to the front to beg the bus driver to let me pee in the bush (which is VERY unlike me! I don't like peeing in places other than the toilet generally!). He just would NOT stop for me and I think I'm realizing that that experience has had some lasting effects. I was thinking about the 14 hour (or whatever it is) drive that we have ahead of us....and started to internally panic yesterday night! I think it should be fine.....we are driving with people that care about not damaging one another.....but I'm still a little nervous!

Here are some of my ideas amidst the panic:
1. buy some depends for the trip and go whenever I have to
2. bring along a child's potty and just go in the van....in front of the rest of the van members....when nature calls!
3. this one is not a joke...i'm planning on doing it.....dehydrate myself all day wednesday and thursday so that I have less to eliminate!

So, yes, it is amazing the phobias that you may realize at different points in your life! Guess I need some prayer for this one!

Off for a drive I go....

I'm quickly showering and packing and then Shaner and I are off to Grand Forks for the night! It should be a nice time! Shane's work does their Christmas party quite late...after Christmas. So, this weekend is the end of the Christmas parties in a way! They are paying for our hotel room, with a king-size bed! And they are taking us all out for a nice dinner tonight! I think it should be a fun time! And the weather makes for a bright and fun day to be travelling.

So, sorry we won't be seeing you church-people tomorrow morning! Keep up the pressing in while we are gone....and we'll be back to worship with you at Encounter God Night tomorrow!

Adios amigos!

Thoughts in a student brain when taking multiple choice exams:

1. Will that guy beside me breathe with his mouth CLOSED so that I can finish my test without passing out!?!
2. Hmmm.....I've noticed the last 10 questions have all been D....should I throw in a different letter?
3. Boy, I wish I had some spare kleenex on me to offer to the guy beside me...
4. Which letter haven't I picked in a while?
5. Boy....if I go fast enough, this could be my best time yet! Out of here in record time!

Finished the tests of February! I am done....except for a few classes today.....for about 2 weeks! Holidays here I come! And no more boring study nights at home Shaner! Thanks for your patience!

Lalalalalalala................

Today...let's see, what can I say about today?
Well, for the most part today was good.....but I had my hour or two by myself (thankfully) of pissed-offness. It is a rare day that I feel generally pived but today was the day. A bag of M & Ms, prayer and studying to get my mind off of stupid annoyances seemed to help! Probably less effective than simply praying.....but I had to ignore my feelings a bit in order to focus on studying!

Tomorrow I write my last test of February! Yipee! Tomorrow is the last day of school before Reading Week........which means no school, but a few more days of work, Grand Forks, celebrating my sister's birthday, and the trip to Kansas City! I haven't had much brain time to think about the KC trip. I hope to generate some excitement about it in the next few days. I didn't realize that it crept up so fast!!!

I'm studying Abnormal Psych in the midst of writing this blog......so that I'm being productive at the same time. See my sleepy hubbie went to bed super early!!!! And I had to resist going to bed with him and made myself stay up to study.....but here I am!!!

So, I really should finish going through these notes for the second time and hop into my already-warm bed! I'm missing out on sleeping time........

Becoming a little braindead....

I spent tonight studying for thursday's test. Today I had 2 tests and tomorrow I have a paper due! Boy oh boy, everything in one week! But I'm surviving and it is almost over! And then is Reading Week and the trip to Kansas City! I can't believe it crept up on me like that! Oh...but first Shane and I are going to Grand Forks for a night this weekend! Such fun awaits me in the next few weeks!

But, for the best news of all.......
The tenative placements for senior practicum have been posted....
I got my first choice!!!!!......
St.Boniface Labor and Delivery (both high risk and LDRP)......
It has been confirmed by the agency (which didn't have to happen until April)......
So, it isn't tenative anymore.......
There was only one spot and more than one student wanted it......
And I WAS HONORED WITH THE SPOT.......

THANK-YOU JESUS! ONE STEP CLOSER TO FULFILLING MY DREAMS!!!!

I'm a little nervous.....

Well, I just printed off my second last official term paper of my degree! I'm a little nervous about handing it in though. See, it is all about my philosophy of nursing. I had quite the time trying to sum up what I think, because there are so many aspects to it!

Well, this is what I decided on...."nursing is an avenue to reveal Christ's love, serve others and impact the lives of those around me".

Well, I'm a little nervous to hand in my paper because it is all about Jesus and my personal beliefs. I'm not afraid to share them, I just hope that he considers my concepts as "professional" and related to the syllabus guidelines. So, here it goes! It is printed and I'm going to hand the sucker in! My prof....or his grader...will read all about Jesus and His love!! That's kinda cool!

Good morning all!

Just a note.....I have a 35% test at 1pm this afternoon....so wanna say a little prayer? I'm feeling pretty good about the material....I even skipped out on studying last night and instead went to church. So, just thought I'd mention it!

So, I was thinking about the cancer-related parts of my dream last night.

Interestingly enough, we took a little time at church tonight to pray about healing and certain specific people in our church with related prayer requests. I wonder if the disease-related theme to my dream correlated with the healing theme that was briefly touched on this evening. Perhaps I just need to be praying about the area of healing! I want more faith for it and more authority to walk in it! Heck, I'm in a healing profession! Boy, would that be great if God did great miracles through my hands in my career! It is not my hands that are significant, but I would love to see God blow people away before my eyes in the hospital, outside the walls of church or in a typical "spiritual" setting! May it be Lord!

I think I see a theme....

When I have good times with the Lord, or evenings that directly have to do with Him, I have a night of bad dreams lately. Thursday nights are housegroup nights....for the past few weeks, thursday night is the night of bad dreams. I few weeks back I had a frightening dream and woke up in the midst of it. I pulled the blanket a little higher because I really felt that if I looked to the edge of my bed, something dark was sitting there and staring at me very intensely and closely. So, instead I just pulled the blanket a little higher and went back to sleep.

Since this week is the fast at church, Shane and I have been trying to make it out to the evening prayer/worship times. So far so good. I even skipped out on swimming lesson last night! In the eternal scheme of things, missing one swimming lesson is just fine in comparison to what God could be doing through these nights, whether or not we visibly see the effects at this point.

Yesterday was a pretty tough night at church. It was hard to press in and it had a strange feeling. Kinda like a funeral. But, we were obedient and we pressed through. God is good and He is faithful. He wanted us to pray for a reason and we don't know in our humanness what kind of power came from our obedience last night. That is the exciting hope when it feels tough and dry! I left actually feeling quite good. Normally after a tough night, you can leave feeling like that was pointless and frustrating. But last night felt a little different to me. It felt like a good instruction in spiritual discipline. I felt that it was part of the maturing process in following the Lord and learning what my role is in His army. I want to continue to learn this, regardless of how things feel! And be obedient, even if I would rather not be!

So, God doing good stuff last night.......bad dreams followed. I had a huge fight with my dad, my mom got cancer but wouldn't get a lot of medical treatment to help her, and someone else from our church had cancer and was going to die within a few days/hours. I was on my way somewhere else and had to catch my plane at 7pm. I had quickly wanted to stop by this house/country resort where my mom and the other lady with cancer were living. My sister was staying there with my mom. I wanted to speak with these ladies and pray with them before I left. Good-byes and closure are always so tough for me. Everything was going wrong about this trip. I left the house/resort much later than I should have. I took the wrong set of keys. The car wouldn't even start...in the middle of summer, it was sort of flooding with water. I still had to drive 40 minutes to pick up my luggage at the time I was already supposed to be at the airport. Things just continued to go wrong. Finally, I resolved that I wasn't going to catch that plane and I wasn't going on my trip. I was full of emotion with these dreams. I'm surprised I didn't wake up crying...which I occasionally have done.

Oh Lord, what are you up to? Things are really being stirred up!