Hungry for knowledge

In general, it's not the easiest thing for me to seek out learning experiences on a day to day basis. But it all depends on what I'm learning!

I love taking an hour to listen to a good teaching about something to do with Jesus and my heart. I loved to read as a child and am trying to get back into reading on a more consistent basis. I do love to read the Word and I find study guides very helpful!

The difficult thing can be making the necessary time to actually make space to sit down and lock in. I sure like having 2-3 hours to do that, though some days I have barely 10 minutes between shifts, sleep and a quick meal. Those days communing with God through 30 second prayers are my connecting point!

But, today's search for knowledge takes a different route than the usual. Today I'm going to a conference that has to do with my role as a nurse. We are encouraged to attend conferences and workshops to continue our education and learning as nurses. I haven't gone to many in my time but this one interested me!

Today I'm going to be learning about "The Care of the Late Preterm Infant", meaning caring for babies that are born early at 34-36 weeks gestation. Late, meaning almost term, not deceased, for clarification.

I'm excited to learn today! Meals, handouts and beverages are provided which is a bonus! I'm getting reimbursed for the registration fee (which is always an arm and a leg in the name of continuing education) and even getting paid for an 8 hour work day!

I hope to have a greater knowledge base that will allow me to care for these little ones with more sensitivity to their individual needs and to be able to teach their parents more about them and how to care for them! I'm excited to learn today! It's like being a student again, which I enjoyed for the most part!

A Thankful Heart

I have much to be thankful for. I was thinking about that this afternoon and thinking on all the blessings in my life caused me to start thanking God for a bunch of things.

So, I'm thankful for:
- my marriage and fabulous husband!
- who He made me...I'm me and that's who I'm designed to be!
- warm baths
- the season of autumn...It's my favorite for sure!
- all the finances that God has provided, especially over the last 3 years
- the nearness of God and His presence in my life
- the beginning of seasons and the end of seasons
- our upcoming trip to Kansas City!
- my awesome family!
- what God has been doing with Sanctuary in the last 5 months
- the conference that I get to go to tomorrow through work that I'm excited about!
- all the resources I have to aid in expanding my knowledge of God
- worship...it sure unlocks my heart
- the honor of partnering with Jesus through intercession...it's incredible!
- my early birthday present from Shane - an incredibly, awesome hair straightener!

There is always so much to be thankful for, though I don't always see it that way. The topic of thankfulness tends to remind me of "Madame Blueberry" from Veggie Tales, if I remember correctly from so many years ago. I sure want to be thankful despite my circumstances, whether easy or difficult, good or bad.

Yesterday, I was doing some studying in the Song of Solomon. I was reading through chapter 5 and the part where the Shulamite is experiencing the north winds of adversity and her response to the hard times when the Lord's presence isn't so near and difficulties are faced.

"Will we seek God if He withholds the things we deeply desire? Will we be His when we cannot feel His presence? Will we love and trust Him when we are disappointed by circumstances? We must work our "faith muscle" as the way to re-align our hearts so as to grow in love in difficulty." (The Song of Songs Study Guide by Mike Bickle)

I desire that my life would "show forth devotion to Jesus in difficulty that people would want to know what I know and how I carry my heart".

Sharing from the heart...

I sure love when I can share something that I actually feel is alive in me on the inside. Then again, some moments it feels alive and others, it may feel hard to access those truths. Last Sunday, I had the pleasure of preaching at Sanctuary on the Fundamental Truth of Love. It was really fun and I enjoyed it more than I thought I would! This morning, Shane and I are heading to the Elmwood Vineyard to share on Intimacy with Jesus through Prayer! It should be a fun experience!

I feel like I'm drawing closer to the Lord and He's drawing closer to me lately. Even though I have less time to sit on my bed and read/study/pray, I am finding moments where my heart is expanded in love. A walk down the hallway at work or a moment to steal away for a bathroom break, seem to be ideal moments to remind me to connect with the Lord. I'll be washing my hands and look up to the mirror and suddenly my heart and lips are saying "Oh Jesus, I love you".

The other night I was walking to my van after work and simply enjoying His presence. The last 4 hours of my shift had been crazy busy and my heart, mind and body were still spinning. It just took a moment where the Spirit reminded me to get me back to the place where I felt I was communing with Him deeply, on the inside. Jesus and I started talking and by the time I was at the van, I was smiling and chuckling about how personal He is with me!

In the last 2 work days, I've had 3 nice compliments from patients and coworkers that stuck out in my memory. No kidding when you're talking to a person that has Words of Affirmation at the top of her love languages! I need to take those as high-fives from the Lord! He is pleased with me and sometimes tells me through other people.

I remember a very distinct time when someone was talking to me and I just knew it was straight from the Father's heart, in a non-ministry situation. I was working with adults with disabilities. One of the young women was working near me and suddenly out of the blue tells me with such genuine love in her eyes and voice that I was very beautiful. It was random, out of the blue, during the work day. I knew as soon as she said it who was behind the love that was expressed through her words, tone and eyes. It was the Father talking to me during a mundane work day, through an human being! That was so neat and has always stuck in my mind.

My desire is to deeply know the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I want God to have full access to my heart, soul, mind and strength and I want to know Him in my emotions. There is simply nothing better than the tangible presence of the Lord. It is so delightful to my soul and I know that there is nothing else that will satisfy!

And we celebrated!

Yesterday was deemed "We love Stephanie" Day. So the day was spent celebrating Steph and making her feel loved and appreciated! We wanted to fill up her love tank!

I picked Steph up at noon and started the day off by blindfolding her for the trip to our first destination. She removed the blindfold at Assiniboine Park, where we had a lovely picnic while enjoying incredible weather!




We were joined by many bees or wasps...I'm not sure what. We had a running total of casualties. We killed 9 of them!

Then it was off to the zoo for the afternoon! We walked for 2 hours and enjoyed one another's company and looking at all the animals!





Then back came the blindfold and we headed over to Grand Prix for some fun bumper cars and go kart racing!





I ran a quick errand to the flower shop with my blindfolded sister waiting in the passenger seat. We got a few interesting looks =)

Then we headed back to our apartment, where my wonderful husband was cleaning the place, cooking up a storm and arranging a party-like atmosphere! Stephanie entered our home to the sound of the Hamster Song, and the surprise of 72 ballons, a banner telling her all kinds of things we like about her and some of her favorite flowers! My hubbie had some beautiful flowers for me too!




We all dressed up for dinner and Shane escorted her (blindfolded again) down the hall to our awaited dinner! Then we took fun pics with all those ballons!







We continued the evening with a movie, banana splits and a few more small presents. We ended the festivities by building a fort in the living room and having a sleepover! When is the last time we did that?! Sometime in our childhood! It was so fun!








So, happy "We love Stephanie" Day to you all...and specifically to Steph! We love you! I hope you feel it!

Here's the update...

I have "dermatographism"....plainly said, skin writing. According to healthy-skincare.com, "friction of the skin causes raised red and itchy lines in the pattern of the irritation". I get hives and we don't know why I'm itchy in the first place.

I was pretty discouraged when I got home. First, I had to wait a long time (which is fine) and then the doctor didn't have time to answer all my questions because she was running behind time. I don't mind waiting, but I wanted to have her attention then when I do get to see her. At least she was really nice.

Secondly, I got a "diagnosis" without obvious answers to the problem. We don't even know why I'm itchy, I just have a name for it now. And...the worst part, I could be on long term antihistamine medications every day. That was the last straw.

In the last 4-5 years, I've had one thing after another arise. They aren't huge, life-threatening issues, but the build up of one after another is enough to drive me crazy. The problem I have with each issue is that I get a silly diagnosis with the "we don't know what's causing it" and "it could be a long term issue". I don't get clear answers to what's causing the problem. I don't get answers of how to solve it. And, they all want me to be on medications for an undetermined amount of time.

1. I hate taking meds. I usually just suffer through a headache because I tend to dislike taking a pill.
2. All these silly medications are stinkin' expensive! That can add a little stress.
3. I don't like using medication as a final answer. I can understand it's use for a short time but hate not having other options.

I'm just sick of having one annoyance after another. I want full healing and it seems so slow in coming. We're contending for healing. We have been for years in our household. Today I was frustrated about it. It's not the usual these days, but today it got me sad.

Tears made me feel a little better. And knowing that I'm getting a resurrected body in the not so distant future =)

Itchy, itchy, itchy.

I'm still itchy...when I'm not medicated. That being said, I've mostly been medicated since June!

I started feeling itchy on June 18th and it has continued on every time I stop taking medication. How annoying is that?

So, today is my long-awaited appointment with a dermatologist consult, which thankfully I called and got bumped up from the end of October's original date. I am not expecting much, sadly. Medicine is just so very trial and error and often leaves you with no answers. That's too bad.

Thankfully, I have a Great Physician. I will continue to pray for healing for this entire body of mine! Please join me!

I really don't want to stay medicated. I even dislike taking tylenol or advil for a headache. So, I'm hoping the dermatologist has something good to say to me this morning!

Jesus...in my everything...

As I mentioned briefly last post, I spent the last 3 days sick or recovery and in classroom days at the hospital. I'm orientating to another ward that I will float to.

The thought of adding another area to my knowledge base and work load is quite frightening for me. It is especially frightening because it's a world away from the type of work I do now. I'm presently pretty specialized, spending my working hours in 3 different wards committed to labor, delivery, recovery and postpartum, caring for moms and babes.

Well, my horizons are soon going to expand to include a larger demographic of women, from the beginning of life to the end. I'm orientating to a gynecology/antepartum unit, which is much more a medical/surgical taste than what I'm used to. Many things they do there, I haven't seen or done since university, and for the most part, had hoped not to have to do or see to be honest.

The last 3 days have caused me to think about many things that I have not had to think about in the last 3 years since graduation. It made me feel somewhat nervous, partly excited and kinda of interested.

This could be a good thing. It is good to learn new things, have challenges, stretch abilities and grow. Even when it's frightening!

I went home thanking God for allowing me the honor of a profession that fuels my intercession for others and urges intimate conversation between my Beloved and myself. For example, a teaching on chemotherapy led me to spend some time in prayer for those with cancer and undergoing chemo in Winnipeg. A lecture on wound care with the words on a PowerPoint presentation of "width, length and depth" immediately put a smile on my face and caused me to pray Ephesians 3:17-19 over myself. A conversation with a coworker allowed me to hear what she's been through and allowed me to tell her that I would be praying for her children.

Simply seeing new life and being a part of a workplace that also experiences great tragedy where we expect great joy makes prayer and intercession necessary in my life.

It is incredible the many things that God can use to provoke us to say yes again, whisper an "I love you" to Him or pray for another or a whole city.

Yesterday....

Yesterday signified 8 years that I've had the pleasure of holding the role of Shane's girlfriend, fiancee or wife! It's hard to believe 8 years have gone by. It has been a great 8 years together!

We celebrated with myself being sick. Boo! I either got a quick and nasty flu bug or some food poisoning...not sure. But it was very nasty, especially coming from a gal who has vomited only about 3 times, including this one, in her adult life! Very, very nasty.

I'm also in the process of doing Core Orientation at the hospital as the wards I work on expand as a Maternal/Child Float. I knew the day was super important, so when I could keep from running to the bathroom, I ventured out of the house. That too was nasty, as I felt super sick all day and evening.

I spend the evening on the couch being very well cared for by my sweetheart of 8 years. Shane made me chicken noodle soup and tea, filled and refilled my hot water bottle and in general took very good care of me. I definitely felt well cared for!

I slept for a good portion of the evening off and on and then went to bed by 10pm.

I'm not nauseous this morning. Yeah! And not nearly as achy. Let's hope the worst is behind us!

And yeah for 8 years of love!