The date on this thing is still doing crazy things and I'm not sure how to go about fixing it! Oh, well, it is tuesday at 3pm and I just woke up! I worked my first night shift, spontaneously covering someone who was sick and only agreeing to work 3 hours before the shift began. So, 11pm to 7:15am I was at work, and then came home to get some sleep. Good thing I can sleep during the day without too much difficulty! It just doesn't feel like it's the most restful sleep.
I think I'm going to shower and then go on a hunt of the process of getting a passport. I am thinking no about the missions opportunity that came up yesterday. I had some other leads that lead me to a different one. It is with Christian Medical and Dental Associations and there is a trip for two or so weeks in Kenya, having to do with medical stuff and they welcome nursing students and health care aids! Woo! Hoo! The trip is lead by a certain doctor, who commits a bit of time for short-term trips! This is more of what I had wanted to do, so I hope that they get back to me! I am sort of nervous to say no and close one door, without knowing if this new idea is yet an open door. Oh, well, I'll go in faith. The other one just wasn't really what I wanted. I often realize these types of decisions after I chat with my papa, both in heaven and on earth. I really appreciate my dad's advice sometimes (of course not all the time!). Well, off I go! Have a great day!

It's monday around 2pm and I just got some new information about a potential missions opportunity for August! I just called the contact lady in California and got some info. The insane part......I should decide whether to join them by TOMORROW!!! I have such a hard, stressful time when I have to make such huge decisions so fast! One big problem....the finances. I was hoping they would be half of what they might be. I was preparing myself for about 2-3 grand, but this opportunity is $3500..American! That is a lot more when translated into Canadian dollars! It would be a totally amazing experience though. My passion has always been to go to Africa, since I can remember! This trip covers Congo, Botswana and Zimbabwe in 3 weeks...in August! The parts that make me hmmmmm....are that it is more of a conference for half of it than actually doing the stuff. It sounds interesting though, because they are churches all over the world so I believe a different country does the service every night. I'm sure I would learn TONS about churches around the globe, their hearts, and different ways of serving Jesus (through prayer, customs, worship, etc). The other thing that sort of makes me wary is that it is with Mennonite Brethren people. I am from a Mennonite town and have a Mennonite last name, but have never been part of a Mennonite church. I have tons of friends who have or do go to Mennonite churches, I'm just afraid that suddenly it will be severly conservative! I think that I don't really have to worry about this though, because I'm sure churches around the world regardless of denomination, are completely different, and it's really their hearts that matter. Not the way that people worship, pray, etc, but what their hearts are all about is what is important! PLEASE PRAY for me whoever reads this blog, especially in the next day or two as I make this decision! I am pretty much going on very limited information and a ton of faith! God will have to figure everything out for me, especially the money part! Please pray that I hear from Him clearly, that I have the faith that He can do anything, and that I don't let my organization and such get in the way of God's spontaneity! He doesn't think and plan in the ways that I like to do, sometimes! Please pray! I'll keep you posted!

I slept in late this morning, or actually afternoon! I'm now just checking the emails before heading off to work again. I hope today goes really well and I continue to catch on to things quickly. Starting a new job sometimes sucks because you aren't great at it, because it's all new. I like the point where you really know what you are doing better! I might have to get another job, because these casual ones don't guarantee the hours and I'm at the very bottom of the seniority list. There was another facility that contacted me about casual health care aid work, so I might email/call them back and ask if they still need someone. We'll see how it goes. I just don't really look forward to getting orientated to another whole new facility, protocols, and seniors! There is so much my brain can remember! Well, we'll see what happens! Have a great day!

I just got back from work a few minutes ago. I worked my first evening shift and I kinda liked it! I can handle getting paid more for a more relaxed shift (compared to days)! The seniors are sweethearts! I hope that I can stay fresh and not become too much of a machine, forgetting about the care of human beings. There are some really sad things about the system. I wish I could make some changes. I sure hope to! I don't think I want to get that old either...I would like to die when my mind is still with me and my body isn't utterly failing. Hopefully, pass away peacefully in my sleep with a smile on my face. I guess thinking about the way you want to die is kind of a depressing topic, but working with older adults makes me think about me as a senior. I really want to have a husband and some kids especially if I get that old. I see the people that have great spouses in the facility and they are so lucky! There lives are so different from the seniors that don't have anybody. Well, I guess it is a lesson to live every day to the fullest! Who knows how many more each of us have left? We just have to make the very best of what is right in front of us.

Yeah! My last exam is finished! It was my worst one. Very frustrating and cruel. Tricky questions that weren't in the readings. I had to control the tears that were welling up in my eyes during that exam on multiple occasions. I'm a little bummed about it, but at least it is over! I got everything figured out yesterday about the schedule for third year and thank the Lord, I don't have to take any summer classes! My brain doesn't have to work anymore (well, that's not at all true, but I want to think so!). I don't have to open another textbook until September! Woo! Hoo!
I got my hair cut yesterday! It is becoming my new tradition in final exam period. December and now. Cheap thrills!
Well, I'm at Shane's right now, but he is going to drive me home shortly. I don't want to go to bed. I want to celebrate being finished, so I might borrow The Little Mermaid 2 to entertain myself with. I know it's a little sad, but you gotta do what you gotta do!

Wow! It is tuesday already! I had my second last exam yesterday morning and then spent practically the whole day (actually about 4+ solid hours) rearranging and cleaning my room. I had a lot of fun! As a kid, every so often I would take the day and rearrange my room, which always turned into a whole day, or week, affair! I remember when I was still living with Corrie, I had the day off and she had to go to work. I got up at a fairly decent, early hour for a day off and began to move furniture around, sorting through everything. I think Corrie thought that I was nuts, but sometimes you just get in the mood! I'm at the University now, because I just had an appointment with a student advisor. I was a little worried about how I'm going to fit my electives in next term, because the nursing schedules don't really fit with the rest of the university's schedules because of clinical. I REALLY don't want to have to take a course in the summer! My brain wants a break! I feel better after talking to an advisor, and now I'm going to spend some time hashing (I don't know if that is actually a word) through the schedule to see what kind of things I can work out! Gotta go and catch a bus! Have a great day! It's beautiful outside!

I just finished watching Blue Crush, with the roomie! Total chickflick! Shane mocked me for it, and after watching it, I realize that it is not a guy movie at all (unless they are watching for the females in string bikinis!). I really enjoyed it for the most part. Definitely not a strong, point-full storyline, but very entertaining nonetheless! I'm really to go to some tropical island, wear a sexy swimsuit, and surf the rest of my days!!!!!! One problem, I can only do the doggy paddle....Ummmmm.......that could pose as a problem! I'll have to think of a new plan.
Well, this morning, I had this great thought/story in my head. It is totally fantasy, but hilarious! It was 6:30am and my mind was still sleeping! I was thinking about Shane and I married and living in New York. I was a nurse at a nearby hospital and was walking through a nearby park on my break. Guess who was strolling in the park as well? Nobody but......Jennifer Lopez! We started to chat. Then Ben entered the scene and we chatted a little more. I didn't want them to think that I was a crazy fan or weird and annoying normal citizen, so I quickly finished up the conversation. They were doing a movie in New York and there was a part for an extra. I told them after finding this info out from them, that I had always wanted to be an extra in a movie! (This is true. I have always wanted to be the person nobody notices walking on the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street!). In this movie, the extra they need was a nurse, which was perfect! They liked me so much that they even stuck in one line for me! That was my moment of stardom in my bathtub, 6:30 this morning, prior to my pharmacology exam (which for the record, went pretty well!).
Hopefully, I'll have great and adventurous dreams tonight about saving the world and doing impossible things! Good night!

It is Good Friday, and I have to cram for my final tomorrow morning. Soon, I will have no homework or exams to blog about, which will probably make all of you more interested and relieved! I feel kinda bad that I have to spend a reflective day like Good Friday, cramming pharmacology down my throat, instead of really spending time thinking about what Jesus did for me. I need to take some time out of my day to reflect, think, write, pray, worship. I will take a break sometime this day, and do this.
I got to see my little Tutu last night! It was so good! He would climb all over me, I went down the waterslide with him, caught him at the bottom, ect. We had so much fun togethert, and with the rest of his family! They are all so cute (three adorable adopted kids between the ages of almost 2 - 4). Tutu calls me "ChiChi", because he can't say the k, and get the t in there. I think there is another translation for Chichi, that I'm not going to get into!
Anyways, I gotta get studying! Have a good day, being reflective of the significance of this day and what it means. We have a selfless, compassionate, beautiful Savior.

I'm off to bed at a very early hour ( 9:30 pm)! I have to work again tomorrow bright and early and need my beauty sleep! I hope it goes well! I am shadowing a different lady that I haven't met yet and working on the top floor where I've never been with residents that I've never met! I hope that I'm not tired, can catch on really quickly, and have a lot of fun!
In the afternoon/evening, I'm going to see my favorite used-to-be foster brother, Tutu (our everlasting nickname since we got him at 17 days old!). He was adopted 2 and a half years ago and will be 4 in November! He is getting SO big! I'm really excited to see him and his family! My family sees them a couple times a year which is so nice! They are staying at a hotel here in Winnipeg and I'm going to go spend some time with them! I'm really looking forward to it!
So off to bed I go! Hey, I have to brag! I normally don't cook anything special (besides mac and cheese, soup, grilled cheese, etc.), but today after grocery shopping, I made a great supper! I made Hawaiian meatballs and rice! A real meal like a mother would make! I am very proud! Just had to brag to someone! Good night!

I'm at the university this morning, because I got my verbal evaluation from my CEF about my performance in my geriatric clinical rotation. I was setting myself up for a specific mark and got a better one! It was the one I wanted! Yeah! My CEF summed up my strengths and weaknesses at the end which was interesting.... She said my strengths were my enthusiasm, my desire to always do better, my energy, my spirituality (which she said verbally but couldn't write on the evaluation which goes into my student file for faculty to see), etc. There was a lot of positive that she said which was nice! She said that I was in the right field and that I do nursing naturally! I kinda laugh to myself about the weaknesses that she stated. I have to think about them, but there is some truth to them! She said that she thought it was hard for me to take criticism. She said that when she told me something correctively critical, I got this look on my face! My mother would definitely agree with this! That almost made me laugh! She also said that I had too much information and needed to prioritize things and that I didn't like it when things were changed and the situation wasn't going according to plan. I suppose these things are true! I guess I have to work on prioritizing, being more flexible, and taking criticism (which I really don't like!). Even though these things/comments are school-related, they are good things to remember and aspects of my character that are positive and some that need some work!
Well, it is grocery shopping and studying day! I'm just waiting for Christina to get out of her evaluation! Talk to you later!

It is getting late (almost midnight) and I got up at 5:30 am this morning! Boy, is that early! I must confess thought, I had a nap in the early evening! I had my first day of my new job today! I think it is going to be really good, I'm hoping! The residents are sweethearts and I can only imagine myself and my loved ones at that age. I hope my care providers are wonderful! I want to be a really good nurse, and for the time being a really good health care aide. One who treats the older adult with dignity, care and respect, regardless of how dependent or independent he or she may be. I've already met some very sweet seniors on the first day! There sure will be a whole lot of toiletting duties, feeding and transferring. My back is sore tonight, and I hope that it was just from dance, and not because of my new job.
I had dance tonight! We are continuing to work on our recital piece! It is a super tiring piece and really quite fast-paced! It's a sweat-er!
I got a email from Mercy Ships today. They said that they don't have any positions available for the time that I wanted. I'm actually not too disappointed, because I know that whatever God has for me for August will work out in His Will and Timing! I'm sort of confused though, because I thought they were the only ship that had something for that time frame and the man said that he would try to get my application sent to another ship. Weird, but whatever! Maybe I'll just have to find something else, or go on some sort of trip! I definitely want to go away in August, regardless!
Have a great night!

I'm losing my mind little by litttle! I have been studying for the past 2 and a half hours and desperately need a break! There is so much information on the older adult that my mind can handle in one sitting! Perhaps I'll mix things up a bit and take the exciting trip downstairs to check the mail, or go for a rollerblade. I think I could use some fresh air!

I wrote a great blog yesterday and then when I pressed post and publish, it didn't go through! What a bummer! It was a great one! Well, information lost...I don't want to think and write everything again! I'm just taking a break from studying for my final tomorrow. I'm a little worried, because it is worth 40% and I only started studying today! Ahhhh! I was supposed to study all day yesterday, but I got suckered by my dad into going home for the night and going to my aunt's concert in rural Manitoba (she's out from B.C. to do some singing concerts). It was totally great to be home! My parents are seperated and have been for the past 4 years. Yesterday, both my parents and all my siblings had a barbeque at my dad's place. It was my strategic plan! It was really nice! I don't know if my mom has been inside my dad's since they seperated. It was where all of us kids grew up (prior to the seperation). My mom and dad were in the kitchen together making supper and I got a picture of them! Hee! Hee! I don't really have the faith to believe for a miracle, but I have to remind myself that God is bigger than my mom, my dad and the problems that seperate them. I told these very words to my dad later that night! It was so nice to be home again! Playing 21 (basketball) with my siblings, barefoot, on the driveway, with music playing from my mom's van! I love nice weather!

Another nice day in Winnipeg! I went to the mall with Christina after clinical this afternoon and......I FINALLY FOUND A BATHING SUIT!!! It is really cute and is pink with white, Hawaiian flowers! A cute two-piece, which is a little more riske than I've ever done! I'm pretty empowered! Hee, Hee! I'm actually sitting here at home in my bathing suit top, border shorts, and sandals listening to loud, fun, summer music with the windows open! I love warmer weather! It feel so good and gets me so excited!
I'm pretty pumped because tonight is Survivor night! I'm a little behind the times, according to Shane, because only now am I a Survivor fan, seasons after the fad is over! Oh, well, only 7 or 8 Survivors left! AND, tomorrow is my last clinical day! We did finish our silly poster on ear cleaning for our health fair (today and tomorrow). It went alright and the health fair thing was super easy! It is like being in elementary school again!
I start my new job next tuesday and I'm sort of excited, yet sort of not at all, because I have to go right into committing all my time to work! I'm working as a health care aid at a long-term care facility down the street from my appartment! I think it will be great, but it will be different going from a student nurse to a health care aid. They do a really important job, I just have to remember what to do and what not to do. I talked with my "boss" on the phone today and was saying that I guess I don't need my stethescope or anything. She said nope because all I'll be specializing in the wiping of faces and bums! Wonderful! This could be a very interesting summer, though I know that I will learn a lot!

good evening everyone! it is so beautiful outside! after my class this afternoon, I went to the gym with some of my nursing girls. then, my friend, Laurie and I relaxed outside in the beautiful weather! we were trying to cram last minute for the exam that I just finished, but we kept finding exciting things to chat about and couldn't get down to boring, ol' nursing research methods. very dry, take my word for it! we'll my last day of school has come to a close! one final down, four to go! only 2 days of clinical left! Oh the count down!
i was using this running/stepping/skiing type machine at the gym today. your usual heart rate is between 60-100 beats per minute. so, the machine kept telling me to slow down, even though I wasn't going as fast as I wanted to, because my heart rate according to the machine was jumping up to 175 bpm (beats per minute)! Either, I have a crazy heart, the machine is wrong, or that's o.k. I guess I don't know a whole bunch about heart rates at exercise, just stationary. We as nursing students have to take pulses all the time, but they are usually on stationary, mostly seated people. hmmmm......i wanted to go faster! maybe i'll ignore the crazy machine next time.
I'm just waiting for Christina to finish her lessons (she teaches here at the university), because I got out of my exam early and then I can get a ride home instead of taking the bus!
hope i didn't bore everyone with little life details! i guess i just have a little motor mouth this evening!
oh, update on my family/foster boys situation. I called home yesterday and briefly talked to my sister. i asked her how things are around homebase without the boys (my dad, sister and brother were on holidays when the foster boys left). my sister said it is amazing at home. she and my mom are getting along more and the peace must be incredible. she said it is just amazing! i'm so happy for my family! my heart is still with my little Native boys and i pray that they are comforted. despite my sadness, i'm so delighted for my family, especially my siblings! God is working, though sometimes it doesn't make sense and there are so many conflicting variables (there is the nursing research methods clicking in!).
Well, time to go! Enjoy the weather, take a nice walk with a friend, grab a slurpee, drive with the windows down, raise the volume on the radio, and have a great night!

It is almost bedtime in my world. I had my last pharmacology class today! Yeah! Tomorrow I have my first final in the evening! Hopefully it goes o.k.! Christina (my roommate) and I have to finish our health fair project before thursday morning entitled Got Wax? We are doing a little teaching on ear cleaning for the older adult! Crazy topic we picked! There is no literature out there on this subject!
I had dance tonight. We are learning and perfecting our recital piece which is kinda weird, but hopefully it will be good! It sure makes me tired when we run through it multiple times in a row!
Oh, another update on the Mercy Ship thing! I guess my application made it to the ship because a lady from the Caribean Mercy emailed me today! She let me know that the ship is processing my application now, so hopefully it won't take too long before I hear some info! I'm getting a little excited to hear what I can anticipate for the summer!
Well, good night to you! Sleep well...I sure plan to! I've been having weird dreams lately, so we'll see what kind of strange drama will be apart of the night tonight!

Morning to you! I've just been doing some homework in my bed this morning after sleeping past my alarm AGAIN! I guess I've just been a little tired the past few days and now my body is trying to catch up! I have some exciting news! I've been in the application process with Mercy Ships since January to perhaps go out to Central America for a few weeks in August. I called them today and they finally have all my stuff! The lady told me that they can only send two applications to the ship each day (or something). Today is my turn! The Caribean Mercy is supposed to then contact me with their response and if there are any positions that I can fill. I said that I would do anything, so that will hopefully get me an automatic in! I REALLY want to go away this summer! I need a break from North America and the life that I live here in Canada. I want to experience another people and another country! I want my little Canadian eyes to be opened a little bit more to what God is doing in other places around the globe!
Well, two days of school and two clinical days left. I'm feeling a tiny bit stressed because I suddenly realize that I have a bunch to do within the next few days and I don't know exactly when it is going to happen! I might have to survive on less sleep in the next few days! Well, I gotta get back to the books! I have to read over my pharmacology notes for my last quiz this afternoon! Yeah! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Well, unlike the boyfriend who gets frustrated with too much socializing over the weekend, I totally had fun! I'm on a break at the University right now and thought I'd do my blog of the day. I'm not in the greatest of moods at the moment, but doing fine overall. I'm going to go to the gym after class and maybe I'll feel better after that. You know when you just feel annoyed? That is how I feel today, Annoyed. Well, that's it for my brain. It has stopped and that's all I have.

Well, I haven't blogged in a few days due to lack of internet access at the house-sitting place. It has been confirmed yet again that I'm just not cut out for animals or children at this point in my life. My time is so my own and dictated by me, that the simple responsiblity of letting a dog pee multiple times a day is quite inconvenient. This reveals that I like my life without the added responsibility of other living organisms.
5 more days of my second year of university! I'm really exciting to be finishing, though, I've been in done mode for quite a while and haven't been productive in the homework area at all lately!
My family came home from their 16-day trip to the west coast today! I just came home from having supper with them on their way back to Mitchell! I'm so glad that they are back in my province! Yeah!
Overall, my weekend was packed and it was full of socializing which was a lot of fun! So, I'm going to go relax, enjoy being back in my own appartment, and hang out with the good ol' roommate!

hello all! tonight I am house-sitting for friends of mine! I am taking my wonderful roommate with me to help fend off the medium-sized dog that I am slightly unsure of. I've always been very scared of dogs! I don't have a lot on my mind tonight. It just feels like I have a lot to figure out with scheduling, being at the other end of the city and all. Also, I have to figure everything out around the bathroom schedule of a dog, which somewhat disrupts my regular schedule. Oh, well, so it goes.
Yesterday my little foster brothers left for good. I called my mom in the evening and that's when things got really sad. We sat and cried together on the phone, both in our seperate homes, miles apart. My heart is breaking after all for two little boys who have lost their mother and home and don't understand what is going on. How can one right feel like another wrong? I suppose there is a major shortage for foster homes so my babies are at a shelter for the time being. This made me feel even more sick to my stomach. My mom said it was really nice, and is a regular, clean home. The sad part is that there is rotating staff instead of a family or parents. This frightens me because it makes a lack in stability. There are only the two boys and one other girl living at the house so at least it is not like they are amongst 50 other sad boys and girls fighting for adult attention. I hope they will survive and that they will make it emotionally. If you think of it, please pray for my two little foster brothers, Rane and Josiah. They are sweeties, but they have many problems that make them very difficult little boys. Pray that the Holy Spirit would cover and surround them, especially through this confusing and probably devastating time. I'm sorry that these blogs haven't been exciting, but it is what is happening in my heart right now.

Well, I'm back home from my little visit to see my fam. It went a lot better than I was fearing! Thank goodness! I was really worried about the heaviness of the boys leaving and the sadness it brings. My mom and I had a great talk on the ride to Mitchell and I explained the feeling of responsibilty about ruining their lives. My mom said somethings to me that were what I needed to hear. She explained that it is the season to make this step (I agree), it will be so good for our family (I agree) and such. The part that I really needed to hear was that for her, to keep from feeling so responsible, she reminds her that she's not the one who drank alcohol and damaged these boys in utero, she didn't make the choices that caused them to be in foster care and the time that they have spent at our house has been very good for them. This "don't take responsibility for others choices" theme is reoccuring these days...hmmmm...... Anyways the visit was better than I thought, because my mom told the older boy who is 3 years old last friday. Since then he has on a few occasions cried big aligator tears and said "I don't want to leave my home!". Hearing this made me so sad! But when I got home yesterday, he said to my mom "Am I going to my new home yet?", and since last night, he has spoke of his new home multiple times and how my mom is going to miss him. It is such a hard, sad process, but I have more peace knowing that the older one is processing, slowly adjusting and God will take care and protect these boys, holding them in His hand. I can rest in that. The little one is so mentally damaged from the effects of alcohol that he really doesn't understand any of it. FAS angers me. I've seen its effects in so many lives and to know that it is completely, 100% preventable, makes me so angry. So many lives........