I passed!

I wrote my NRP (Neonatal Resuscitation Program) test this morning. It was ok...but I did thought I may have failed certain parts. Yesterday was supposed to be my study day...but I totally procrastinated. I slept in, emailed people I've been meaning to, went to see my boss to pick my position, poured over the schedule of my new position lovingly, did some errands and went out with the girls in the evening. It hardly made any room for studying!

So, today I wrote the test. Then I headed to the gym. That felt nice! And picked up some groceries so that I have food for work this weekend.

When I returned home, Shane had the good news to tell me that the education lady from the hospital called to tell me that I passed! Yeah!

It is not completely finished yet though. I have to do a full day next friday of the course. It's all the lab stuff - hands on such. The final test is how I do with a fake mega code! We'll see! I hope it is fun and interesting!

Housegroup is here tonight. That should be interesting! ....I'm pumped to have accomplished all that I have and it still be early in the afternoon. I'm going to enjoy the rest of the day at home!

So blessed that I cried....

I honestly feel incredibly blessed and taken care of. Jesus has not only met my needs in the area of my job, but he has completely met my wants. I feel spoiled. And almost shocked that he would even fulfill my desires that aren't needs.

As most of you know, I was bumped from my beloved .75 position 2 weeks ago. Since then I have been praying that I would get my job back before the new positions are in effect as of March 11. I have been feeling like I would just be getting it back.

There was a position that went up that I thought the girl who bumped me might get. I was sure hoping..because if she got it, I would get my job back. I ran into the unit manager for her floor and spoke with her about this situation. She pretty much told me that there were other employees ahead of this girl and it was unlikely she would be getting the position. So, that gave me a new reality yesterday morning.

Later that morning, I went to peer at the schedule to find a switch for one of my weekends with the new schedule I would have to think I was going into. My boss popped his head in the doorframe and mentioned that at 1pm he was going to post 2 positions just like the one I currently have on the unfilled list!

This was great news! I wanted another .75 and if it is on the unfilled list, I don't have to worry about waiting until it is taken down and processed in a week, or about seniority. It is just first come first serve!

I zoomed upstairs to have my charge nurse help me locate a computer and a password so that I could print out my resume and be ready to hand it in at 1pm.

I put my resume into the right hands at 1:15pm yesterday. I thought it might take a few days perhaps. I got a call at 4:30pm when I was home. I had my choice of the two .75 positions!

So, today I went to pick which one I wanted. I was a little disappointed that both of them were the opposite weekend than I work now, but hey. At least I get my old schedule back and don't have to work the fulltime one!

But, Jesus had an even better plan.

One of the schedules is exactly what I work now. Meaning, I miss every other Encounter God service, every other housegroup night and can be at every tuesday prayer night.

One of the schedules had one day different. Meaning, I can make 3 out of 4 Encounter God services (and be late for the 4th), I miss 3 housegroup nights per month, and can still be at every tuesday prayer night. This also opens up every monday (both day and night), since I never work mondays or tuesdays.

I took the second position. Sunday nights are one of the most important days of the week for me. And now, I can be at all of the Encounter God Services (and late for one of them).

When I left, I was overwhelmed with the blessing in my life. I am a new nurse and I have the schedule that works perfectly for my life. I am in the area of nursing that I want to be in. I have the schedule that I want. I have the days off that are perfect.

I cried in the car when I thought about how intimate Jesus is that he would give me the position I wanted back, and with a twist that would make it even better. He is so dear to me. I am so blessed.

It once was lost, but now is found.....

The plug was under the bed, near the footboard. I have no idea how it got there. I had some blankets on the floor on my side of the bed that were in a position that the ear plug could not have slipped under the bed from the side. I have no idea what happened but I chuckle thinking that I threw the plug and it may have rebounded off the dresser onto the floor under the bed. That is the way my imagination thinks it may have happened!

It was a funny picture....Shane and I on our hands and knees, peering under the bed at the small, transparent-like plug laying in the darkness.

It has been found.

Lookin' a little silly......

So, about 6 months or so into our marriage, I started wearing a niteguard while sleeping at night. I found out very quickly once we were married that I grind my teeth at night...enough to wake Shane up! Since that is a very unbecoming sound and I was grinding away my enamel, I got a niteguard. It has been very helpful in protecting these teeth of mine and making the night more pleasant for my husband next to me!

Within the past few days, Shane and I received our musician plugs! Yeah Steph! Thanks a million! So, this past night when I was trying to go to bed, and realizing that I was really distracted from sleep and not really into going to bed but needed to, I thought I'd try out the musician plugs. Ahhh...they don't block all sound, but decrease the decibles of sound you hear (or something like that). It was enough to make things very quiet in my little head. I drifted off fairly quickly, though the hard contraptions in my ears were a little uncomfortable, bordering a little painful.

I awoke at 1:45am...from a pretty deep-feeling sleep....to notice I only had one ear plug in. Instead of rolling over and continuing in my quality rest, I started to look for the left plug in the dark. That lead to finding Shane still up in the kitchen. He had a little search for me, in the harsh light of the room, and came out with no plug. Forget it...I thought...by that point. I'll find it in the morning.

Well, by that point the damage was done. I had awakened myself enough to have a crappy night for the rest. Not a great sleep at all. Good thing today is just a piddly little 8 hour shift in the middle of my week off!

My question is where is the plug? It must be in the room somewhere. And I find it quite hard to believe that it would actually fall out, as they are mighty molded in there.

I'm thinking I thought they were uncomfortable as I slept and therefore took one out and got rid of it. I'm curious what I did with it though!

I remember a few nights while I was getting used to the new mouthguard. I found it under the bed a few mornings! I must have taken it out and somehow thought that the nightstand or the floor was not enough! It must be hidden! Under the bed! Now, that is talent to do in your sleep!

So, who knows where the plug could be hidden!!!!! I'll let you know if it appears in a strange location!

Ahhhhh.....a nice day!

I had a pretty nice day today!

It started with a sleep-in morning with my hubbie who has been a little under-the-weather in the stomach department for a few days out of the past week. So, he took a sick day (hee hee!).

Then I had brunch at a friend's place from high school. It was wonderful! The conversation was awesome and a whole bunch of topics came up that are dear to my heart recently and of which I feel quite a bit of passion for. I had a wonderful time! So great to connect with old friends!

Then, went home to the sick husband and snuggled on the couch while watching Dr. Phil together. I also got some much-needed reading in for the Neonatal Resuscitation Course that I'm doing. One more chapter to go...then studying...before I write the test on thursday morning.

Then came supper at the in-law's tonight! That was a nice and unexpected invitation!

And, another experience at Aquafit with Steph. This time I said to myself, "Screw the deep end!". All I do is drown! So, I worked my butt off in the shallow end and it felt far more productive!...I still had some drowning moments during the ab work, but it was far less frustrating!

Now it is time for a little sleep before I work tomorrow. I picked up an extra shift. Should be a good one!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPH.....AGAIN!!!

Today was a party day for Steph and I. We save the celebration for a saturday so we can have a full day!

It began with a yummy brunch of waffles, white sauce and berries. Followed by a workout at the gym...Aquafit. Generally a fun time for Steph and I. Not the case today. It was in the deep end and frankly, I just sink. Very frustrating.

Then we went and saw Pride and Prejudice in the cheap theatre. Ahhh....love.

Off to Kristi's personal spa....in my very own bathroom....where we did foot scrubs, in candlelight while drinking glasses of chocolate milk. Then a little foot massages with lotion and painting of the nails...sparkling sand was the color of choice.

Dinner was at Red Lobster....mmmmmm...shrimp!!!

And then, SURPRISE!!!!! A party for Steph at our appartment! She was totally surprised! All of my lying today paid off in the end! A huge thank-you to all who came on such short planning notice! You are all irreplaceable! It was wonderful to have you celebrate with you! THANK-YOU!

...now tea with my husband whom it feels I haven't seen in a few days....and then bedtime! nite!

What?!!!

-28 and feels like -41??????

It's 6:10am and news like that before braving the cold is very intimidating and makes me hate the cold we live in. I'm already cold just thinking about stepping outside! It just doesn't seem fair that it is allowed to get so cold where we live.

Ok. Enough of that complaining.

Back to work for me for the next two days. I had a pretty crappy sleep, but I'm actually looking forward to working today. I usually enjoy work when I'm there, but kinda dread going (a huge part being the newness of my job and fear I sometimes feel about what I might face). Today, I'm kinda looking forward to it!

I had a nice 3 days off! I spent all day monday and tuesday at home, with the exception of evening engagements! Birthday dinner for Steph and mom, prayer at our place and yesterday was Valentine's day for Shane and I. It was a really nice few days off! I should stay home a little more often on my days off! I like my home!

Ok...off I go. Pray that I don't freeze to death!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY, MY FAVORITE SISTER, STEPHANIE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOM TOO!!!! (We like to double up birthdays in our family!)

So, tonight we party! A yummy family dinner at Olive Garden! Mmmm.....breadsticks, salad and the best raspberry iced tea ever!!

Then on saturday, Steph and I get to spend the whole day partying! I still have to plan the day! Yikes! It will be great to hang together and celebrate Steph's birthday! I'm definitely looking forward to it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SOME OF MY FAVORITE WOMEN ON THE PLANET!!!!

Dreams....

Oops! I slept past my alarm this morning! There is one bonus about a husband that doesn't always sleep very well - he can wake me up and save the day! I sure don't normally do that, but I was in the middle of some interesting dreaming.

So, on the topic of dreaming, I was wondering if there are some experts out there that know what things in dreams sometimes mean. Here is a few to throw at you!

1. Cars - usually ministry, right?
2. Open waters, like the ocean -
3. Bales of hay -
4. Photos -

I have a few of my own thoughts on the meaning of these things in this particular dream. Just thought I'd get some other views!

A day from.....double hockey sticks (a reference to a swear)!

What a crazy day. Out of control!

I had a nuty day on the postpartum ward. I did 4 discharges today. And the worst part was dealing with a sickly baby...who didn't belong in the normal nursery. I fretted over him all day...to finally get him back to NICU by the end of the day shift.

I was so overwhelmed. It is often like that on that particular ward. And I cried. I tried so hard not to. But then I met a nurse that I know from L & D in the hallway on the way back from NICU and she asked why my day was so insane. When people ask that question, it is just the last straw sometimes. I didn't allow myself to bawl like I totally could have. I just teared a little.

The evening part of my 12 hour shift was totally different. Very nice. Totally in control.

One more shift to go until the festivities of the week begin - Steph's birthday and Valentine's Day!

Busy, busy, busy....

I've had the last 5 days off...and they have been fairly exhausting.

I need a few days at home to recooperate from my days off! I've just squished too many good things into my days. I love seeing friends for coffee, going out in the evenings and getting things done that need to be taken care of, but it all gets a little too much sometimes.

Tomorrow I start my week of work again. A few more weeks in my beloved position until I enter the fulltime world (yucky).

This is a pretty nonsense-type blog. Just a little blurb about how things have been.

I think I'm going to go and curl up on the couch and read.

....aching.....

I have been watching/listening to the live feed of the prayer room down at IHOP this morning as I am checking my email and blogs.

I want to go and sit in that atmosphere again. The thought brought tears to my eyes and longing to my heart. What they are doing down there has power on it. It draws my heart with desire. It is so easy to engage your heart with what is happening down there...even thought I'm not there physically. I can pray and intercede for what they are focussing on, in the comfort of my dining room and pjs.

I want to go. Boy, oh boy.

Mmmmm.....

10% tuesday today.
Freezer full of meat.
Multiple kinds.
Very happy husband.

Nite.

Speaking to the students....

I'm off in a matter of minutes to go to the University to talk to the students of the Introduction to Nursing class about my job as a nurse! I quickly wrote out a few things at midnight that I may say. I have about 10 minutes to talk.

I haven't been nervous. It is a little nerve-wracking to stand in front of 98 students and speak for 10 minutes. Hopefully, I don't feel nervous at all!

I have a very busy day ahead of me.....filled with the University, coffee with a friend, an appointment with an insurance guy, grocery shopping, cleaning the house and prayer at our place tonight. I hope everything gets accomplished!

Update on the work situation....

Had my meeting with my boss and the union representative. It went well.

I had 4 choices of other positions to choose from. Shane and I have decided on one already. My new position starting March 11 (unless something divine happens and I get my position back!) will be a full time, 12 hour day/night position in the perinatal float pool. I was in the maternal child float pool, which would eventually include 3B (gyne) and NICU. The perinatal float pool is the 3 wards that I already work on (LDRP, L & D and 3A-postpartum). So no new wards for a while.

Negatives:
- had such a beautiful position that I didn't want to part with
- really enjoyed the freedom of having every other week off....flexibility with plans/trips
- I don't enjoy the idea of fulltime work...I want more time with my husband, friends and God
stuff that is happening in our lives.... .75 was really ideal for that!
- 55-60% of my check will be gone before I receive it working fulltime (taxes, union dues)
- my weekend to work will be switching....that's not a huge deal but in the long run I was supposed to have mother's day, easter, and my anniversary weekend off...not anymore

Positives:
- I DIDN'T GET LAID OFF!! The ones that are at the very bottom will be getting laid off...
- I got a choice of at least 4 positions to choose from.
- I didn't have to choose a job in a totally different area of the hospital...I am still with labor and delivery!
- The new position is pretty much my same job and schedule...except adding an extra 2 shifts in my usual week off....I normally picked up one anyways
- I won't have to pick up any shifts....I have more than enough hours.
- There will be some extra money on each check

So, all in all, it isn't too big of a change...it is just a big dissapointment to have to give up a perfect position for Shane and I. But, hopefully the same one comes up soon (there are quite a few .75 positions in the float pool) and I can go right back into it! Thank- you God for your provision.

Terrible news....

Got a call from my boss at 1pm.

I've been bumped.

Meaning? Someone else took my position. There has been some bumping happening which originated on the 6th floor. Now it's hit me.

So, this means I don't get to work in my beautiful, convenient .75 position.

I have a meeting at 3pm with my boss and the union rep to see which positions are available to me. This will not be very many, as the seniority for this bump froze back in November. At that time...and still now...I have little seniority, being so new and all.

Please pray that I have wisdom as I choose my next position. Pray that there is a handpicked one for me amongst those I have to choose from. One that provides enough money and allows Shane and I to be apart of the things we love.

Yikes! What a crazy monkey-wrench thrown into the day!

Ouch!

My sweet husband has a migraine this morning! He used to get these on occasion, but really hasn't since the seizures started in July. Today he has one. Sucky.

Hey, maybe that means no more seizures! Here's to hoping!

As you may have read on Shane's blog, we had an appointment with the neurologist last week. It was the first time that Shane's meds haven't been adjusted! We were totally pumped because Shane hasn't had a seizures in 2 months, and that's our record since July! So, we're going to continue on what doses and meds Shane is presently on. They are both really low doses, but hopefully the combination of the two will provide the right balance for a seizure-free life!

I'm so thankful to see the hope that this positive news has brought my hubbie. Wow! What a last 7 months it has been for us! I pray that we're on the way down that mountain!

Off I run to get ready for church....haven't been there in 2 months on a sunday morning.....between working and a few travels in December/January......Adios......

"Can I pray too?"

Wow! The opportunities at work the last 3 nights have been pretty awesome! ....had another one last night!

I had the sweetest couple in labor. I admitted them to the room just before 1am. I checked her at 1am...she was 5cm. She was working hard through her contractions, but really coping beautifully and resting well in between. I went for a little break at about 1:50am.

I returned at about 2:29ish....to find everyone in the room and the baby about to be born! So, I quickly got into gear for delivery! She did amazing! And it was so fast!

The special part was a little later when the doctor was already gone and I was getting everyone and everything straightened out in the recovery period. We started talking about people and places to find out that this couple knows people that I know. What a small world!

Then the dad asked the mom if she wanted to pray. He prayed over their new baby and thanked God for a really nice delivery and labor. It was so cute to see them sitting on the bed with their new baby, praying aloud.

They said "amen" and opened their eyes....and before the gears switched, I asked, "Can I pray for you too?". They said sure and so I prayed over the little family in front of me.

I prayed for their home, their family, and their new baby. I even prayed that their baby would be annointed to live out the plans God has for him and follow Jesus! Yes, I honestly used the word annointed!!!

Oh boy! I can't believe the last few prayer opportunities!

When I was saying my goodbyes and being sent off to care for another laboring patient, the mom thanked me again for all the help. And she thanked me for praying too!

It was a really special time to be able to pray for a mom, dad and baby! That opportunity rarely presents itself!

Thank-you Jesus for treasures throughout my last few nights shifts. It has been so delightful! And such a blessing to me!

I'm off to sleep! And then I'm off for the next 5 days! Yippee!!! I worked 6 12 hour night shifts in the last 8 days! That is pretty insane! But the 5 off will make up for it!

Nite!

Nice night....
Great delivery.....
More conversations with coworkers about prayer, my faith and our ventures with the House of Prayer....
Got to pray over another baby and speak more destiny into a little one....

Wow! Opportunities are throwing themselves at me! It is so not me! It is all Him!!!

Must sleep. As soon as possible. As mister opera man downstairs may drive me snakey with disturbing my night with opera prayers at the top of his lungs half way through the afternoon! Ahhhhhhh! I need my custom-made ear plugs ASAP!!!! Soon I'll get a little desperate. The pillow over my head and my fingers in my ears aren't doing the trick!

Nite.

"But, I can pray for you!"......

A phrase that I sometimes say. Not generally at work. Last night was a little different than normal.

I had a really special experience with one of my patients. She was upset, for a bunch of different reasons. I didn't want to intrude on her private conversation on the telephone, but could tell she was really upset. So, I asked/motioned if she was ok and if she wanted me to stick around. So, I sat on the couch as she finished her difficult conversation.

We began to talk on the couch and then moved back into her hospital room. She talked. I listened mostly. I sat purched on the end of a chair beside her bed. I offerred kleenex. Then I had a moment. Should I offer to pray for her?

It was just the right moment. And I offerred. I wasn't even really nervous.

She couldn't believe that I would offer. And she was easy to accept. So, I prayed. For her, for rest, for peace, for provision from Jesus, for her husband and children. I talked to Jesus like I would normally. I don't think it sounded stoic or traditional. It was like I would normally talk to him.

I'm so happy that I was listening with the ears of my heart to the situation and God's nudges. Right after I prayed, my patient was awed that I would have offerred and said that it was exactly what she needed at that time.

From talking some more, it sounded like there has been some drawing towards Christ...or at least church and such, in different ways, which always get blocked or sidetracked. I pray that the paths to Jesus would be opened up for her and her family.

I told her that Jesus loves her. Just the way she is. That she doesn't have to have it all together to embrace him. And I told her that if she needed an ear or another prayer at all throughout the night, to put on her call light and I'd come.

The rest of the night was quite sweet with her. It really bonded us. It was special. And she mentioned multiple times throughout the night how amazed she was that I prayed for her. She said she would have been way too scared and unsure of what the other person would respond like to ask. I told her it was just the right moment and I felt right to ask her. She said that the Lord must have brought me to her.

Thank-you Lord for such a sweet opportunity. What a rush!

Jesus, give Your servants boldness, gentleness and sensitivity to hear Your voice and sense Your nudges throughout our daily lives.

And continue to be with my patient. Provide for her. Make a way where there seems to be none. And draw her in any way You need to Your heart.

Sleep....

Done my night stretch until wednesday night........
nice weekend........
had a potluck last night on the night shift.......
plan on sleeping the day away......
very exciting about laying down in my comfy bed....
will be able to see my hubbie today when I wake up!.....
having a sister date tonight!.....
going to do some exercising this evening (Aqufit!).....

got to go and eat my Cheerios before bed!
Nite!

Off to see a nice friend for a time of talking and catching up.

Someone whom I love and admire.

Someone who has been my prayer support and a great listening ear for the past few years.

Someone whom I greatly respect.

Someone whom I think is just great!

Someone who makes yummy muffins and warming teas.

Someone who is a great friend and a lot of fun!

.....do you know who this is?????

Oh God!

"The Islamic fundamentalist group Hamas, which has said it favors the destruction of Israel, won a landslide victory in Palestinian legislative elections, officials said today."
-CNN website, January 26, 2005

Jesus, would You put up a hedge of protection around the nation of Israel. Would you provide justice and protection for Your people.

I feel the severity of the times we are living in. Things that are happening around our world and in our politics are not just coincidences.

Throughout the Word, we are confronted again and again with the words of the Lord, Jesus and the prophets and apostles warning the people of the times that are coming and the urgency of His return.

The Spirit and the bride say "come!" (Revelation 22:17).

An educational opportunity....in two ways....

Learning never stops! Not that I think it would, but one day I hope it slows down in the amount I need to learn.

When I took this maternal child float pool position in October, I knew that I was committing myself to a very steep learning curve this year. So far, I've been travelling upward, but I haven't reached the steep angle yet that I think will come.

When I took the position, I was orientated to one new unit, and I already knew 2 others. I was told I would be going to gyne/surgery in January, and NICU in the spring. I'm hoping all the time that my boss forgets!

Well, it's getting to the end of January and he hasn't mentioned gyne orientation yet. Whew! That is the floor that scares me the most. I forget everything related to medicine and surgery-type floors. But, I know that it would be really good for me to know. I'm just scared about starting fresh again and knowing nothing on a floor.

Education-wise, I'm sure I will learn a ton this year. Besides orientation to 2 new wards sometime this year, I'm also already signed up for two other education days this spring. I'm taking my Neonatal Rescusitation course on March 3. I will feel less stress at my deliveries if I know that I can begin tackling a problem more effectively with the babe if I encounter one, prior to the NICU team arriving.

I'm also scheduled to do another inservice called MORE-OB (Managing Obstetrical Risks Effectively) in May. I did the first year inservice back in October. Now, I'm on to year 2.

On the other side of education....not just learning, but sharing with others.....

I'm speaking as a labor and delivery nurse on a panel at the University of Manitoba in February. It is kind of ironic because I've only been working for 6 months as a nurse, but I'm going to be speaking to a first year nursing course about my job! I remember that exact course 4 years ago and I even remember the panel of nurses. Ironically, the prof that I had 4 years ago as a nursing student, is the same prof that emailed me as an invitation to come and speak in her class! So funny! I have to share for about 10 minutes and then there is a question and answer period with 98 students! It should be an interesting experience...and probably will make me a little nervous when it comes!

Learning, learning, learning........it will never end. I like that because then my brain stays fresh and active....but boy, can it be overwhelming at times!

Today is the big day....

Please go out and vote. It is important. I feel the most urgency to vote this year. There are just too many large moral issues that have surfaced obviously in government since the last election. I need to do my part.

So, hopefully I can make it to the polls before they close. I'll try to get off my 12 hour shift a little early! I know that they are supposed to let me....I'll ask the supervisor!

Have a good day and get out there!!!

Wow! Two psycho days at St.B!!!!!!

Seriously, I'm relieved I'm not pregnant and ready to give birth tonight. We have hardly any space left! We are having some serious bed issues today! So many giving birth around this time!

Yesterday was nuts too! I was at three deliveries during the 8 hour day shift (two were my patients) and then moved along to a busy postpartum assignment for the last 4 evening hours. I was really nervous to get back to work yesterday after being gone since the 6th. I was almost sick to my stomach and worrying about the day. Well, I get on the job at 7:30am to find out that I'm taking a laboring patient. Then I find out that she's fully dilated. Then I go into the room to find out that we need to page the door pretty much right away for delivery. Well, he made it, only to kind of trick me.

See, he requested that I put on some sterile gloves. I'm wondering why in my mind...as we are seeing head and delivery is very imminent. (sorry if you hate the gory details) I'm almost thinking that maybe there is something wrong and he is just really calm (it really doesn't look like anything is wrong), or maybe he wants me to help him so that she doesn't tear or something. Well, he moves out of the way, tells me where to position my hands.....then he says "let me know if you have any questions".....and he stands there. He totally tricked me into delivering the baby! He didn't even ask if I wanted to!

Sure, though, I'll do it! I love it! So, I delivered my second baby. The first was back in September. Both girls. What a rush! And how special!

Thankfully, tonight, I had a great family doctor and his resident who were a little early and in the room. Otherwise I definitely would have had a close call at delivering that baby! .....see! a 36 hour labor the first time can result in a 3 hour labor the second time! I got her to the labor floor at 5:30pm....we had a baby by 6:18pm!!!! I didn't even have a chart in the room. I did all my charting on a paper towel!

Since we are on the topic of baby and birth, I got a few more details this evening about my friend, Amy. She was contracting about every 7 minutes (or something) starting on saturday. She could still sleep through some of them....so I'm guessing she was just in early labor for quite a while. Monday rolled around and the early labor game was getting old. So, the midwife checked her just before 6pm and Amy was only 4cm. So, they went over to the rural hospital, got a nice dose of Demerol so that she could go home and get some rest, and went home. My silly friend thought that she would be sleeping for a while and didn't need anyone to hang around and wait, so the midwife went back to the hospital and her husband left for a while. Well, suddenly things got much stronger and she was alone at home! Her water broke by 7:30pm...and she was frozen in pain in the bathroom...again....alone.

As more than a coincidence, I was at the vision night for the House of Prayer that evening. It started a little late....after 7:15....and I remember sitting there, in the meeting, and very suddenly thinking of my friend. I had thought of her on and off a lot in the last little while, but not consciously been praying intently. Well, as I sat in the meeting and she flew into my mind, I suddenly prayed for her. I don't know of the exact time, but around the time her water broke, she was praying desperately on the bathroom floor that she would be able to manage and get to the phone to call the midwife and husband. I totally covered her in prayer at the exact time she needed it...and I didn't have a clue what was happening. Until tonight, I didn't even know the time of day she delivered. That was so God!

So, to speed up the story. The midwife came right away. Amy was 8cm. They raced to the hospital. She started pushing in the truck! That's a good rural girl! They arrived at the hospital at 8:20pm and little Jude was born at 8:58pm!!!! That's my girl! She's amazing!!!! I love good stories of fast deliveries for first time moms! That's so nice for them!

So, lots of babies in the last few days. I'm going to see Amy and Jude tomorrow afternoon. I'm totally excited to see them and am going to take some pictures! I feel so proud! And I'm not even related or anything!

Gotta run to pick up my hubbie at the in-laws. He's doing laundry and watching CSI!!! Adios!

A BABY BOY!!!!

My dear friend, Amy, my best friend from grade 6, had a baby boy today!!!! I had a very to the point message on my machine this evening from her husband. No weight, details or time of birth at this time. Just a little message to say they had their baby, it was a boy and his name is Jude Isaac. What a nice name! I had the honor of knowing the names they picked out during her pregnancy! Only me, Amy and her husband! I was so honored!

I AM SO EXCITED!!!! MY DEAR FRIEND HAD A BABY!!!!

I plan on going out to see the two later on this week. First, I have to return to work after my holiday! Tomorrow is my first day back. I'm a little nervous and totally dreading it! It is a little scarey after you are out of the groove for a bit! I better hit the hay!!! Good night!

WE'RE BACK!!!!!!!

What a great holiday! Steph and I had so much fun in Puerto Rico this last week! Weather-wise, it was really hard to come back! I love +30!!!!

There was a lot of highlights and tons of good times together!

Some highlights were:
- being asked if we were twins EVERY DAY from 2-5 different people! Everyone from guests at the resorts, people from Steph's work, stewardesses, staff at the resort, etc. It was a hoot! We loved that!

- taking merengue and salsa lessons every afternoon at 4pm at the pool! My hips have been set free! But the cold weather here may freeze them back into place! Yikes!

We got a little famous on the resort and got the title of dancing queens. People we didn't know at all were passing us on the walkway commenting about the great dancing! Hilarious! But oh so fun! Ooooo....and Steph also brought ugly dancing to Puerto Rico! It was so funny! I think we entertained the resort with all the dancing activities! They can bring us along next year as entertainment!

We got a great compliment from the head guy of Steph's manufacturing company. He had to mingle and chat with people all week, so this was NOT a vacation at all for him. He said to a few people that when he was a little stressed or in a bad mood and saw us enjoying ourselves, we totally brightened his day and brought a smile to his face! That's so sweet! And we only chatted with him a few times, but our smiles and enjoyment encouraged him!

- having warm weather. That was probably one of the biggest highlights. I love the climate. We had some showers in the evenings, but we really only had one gloomier day of the entire week! The weather was fabulous!

- lots of virgin strawberries daquiris and pina coladas! I love mixing cranberry and apple juice!

- REALLY good food! The buffets were great and I loved having ice cream anytime, but my favorite were the speciality restaurants! We went to Avacados one night and had broccoli soup, bread, drinks, steak, salmon, dessert......and then left without paying for the bill! That is the weirdest feeling! I love it!

Another specialty restaurant was called Bamboo. That was my favorite! It was Asian cuisine and they cooked the whole meal right in front of us! It was quite a show! And SOOOOOO yummy! Especially the shrimp!

- Steph and I had ALL the desserts on the menu at both specialty restaurants! That was totally fun!

- Ooooo...can't forget the loveliness of room service! We frequented the room service button on the telephone for breakfast on the patio or in bed! I loved it!

- We went on a few excursions which were a blast! I snorkled for the first time and saw some star fish. Boy, it is something else to coordinate breathing with a mask on and your face in the water. Steph had to remind me that I could totally do it, being a labor and delivery nurse and all! That focussed me and then I figured out the whole breathing thing!

We went on a gorgeous sail boat!

We took a paddle boat out in the Carribean Sea.

We did water aerobics in the pool and musical chairs beside the pool. Steph won!

We went kayaking for the first time....at night, in a narrow lagoon. We got to see how plankton light up in the water! It was fun!

We also went to the famous Puerto Rican Rain Forest. It was really beautiful and we got to take a dip in a waterfall! I thought of Loraleigh while I was there and definitely thought that hike would be her kind of thing!

- They had nightly entertainment shows. We saw some of them and walked out on some of them, as we don't really appreciate dancers in thongs, hardly wearing anything, thank-you very much. It just sat yucky with both of us......so we left.

- Got to know a bunch of Steph's co-workers. They were a hoot to be around and I really enjoyed her bosses especially. So nice! We got to have some neat conversations with them about God stuff and the House of Prayer!

- Made some Puerto Rican friends! Mostly the dance teachers and the security guard!

- Love the culture and the way that Latinos treat women. Women are treated respectfully and are really valued as women! I felt so female and happy to be female! They make women feel like queens. I loved it! And we felt so beautiful! I pray that that part of the Latino culture could transfer to our North American culture!

I could go on and on but those are some of my highlights of the trip! The sister time was really good for us! I really enjoyed my sister and hope that our relationship only gets closer and closer and stronger and stronger as we continue in life. We really enjoyed each other presence, and were together constantly for over a week (besides being asleep and the occasional shower)!!!

Thank-you Steph for your generosity and for choosing me to come with you on a fabulous trip! I had such a blast with you! I'd do it again in a heartbeat! Love you!

Leaving in a taxi with my suitcase in half an hour.......

Love you all! See you in 9 days (including today!)!!!! If you remember us, say a little prayer for fun, safety and health!

Adios amigos!

Do I hear the roar of the ocean and the swish of palm trees????????

Not yet but very soon! I work in about an hour, one more 12 hour night shift before I'm off! Tomorrow morning I'm going to crash in my bed for a few hours and have a very reduced night in order to get up and finish up the end of the packing. A taxi is picking me up at 3pm and then we're off to pick up Steph at her place.

Our place leaves Winnipeg at 5:20pm and then we are off to Toronto for the evening and night. We get to spend the night in a hotel there!

Early saturday morning we are off on another jet plane for warm Puerto Rico, with a little stop over in Miami.

I'm totally pumped! I just have to make it through tonight's shift! Then I get to spend a whole week on the beach with my sister, eating tons of good food, going on some fun excursions perhaps and wearing skirts and dresses every evening! I have some interesting books to read on the beach while I'm there (The Overview of the End Times and The Rewards of Fasting). It should be interesting learning while lazing in the sun!

Alright, I should run and eat before work! Have great weeks! See you all when we return!

The end of a year and the beginning of a new one!

I love New Year's Eve. I'm big on beginnings and endings and so I love the last day of the year. I journal and reflect on the highlights...good and bad...of the previous year and all the things that I accomplished and all the firsts. Then I think about the upcoming year and what it may hold, what I want it to look like and some goals or themes for myself..which are usually spiritual.

Shane and I are celebrating the New Year here in Kansas City! We leave early tomorrow morning with a very long drive back! And I'm not too excited because I have to drive the entire 14 hours back. I did it on the way here...mostly to have bragging rights that I could drive the whole trip. But I was expecting to sleep some on the way back because each night here is full of great conversation with Shane and Joyska which makes for very late nights! Oh well! At least Shane and I now know that I can do the whole trip and therefore we can come out just the two of us, no problem!

The conference has been really good! Lots of incredible worship, and great teachings. It is incredibly intense and so we've had to pick and chose some of the sessions we want to go to. We'd wear ourselves out way to fast otherwise!

It has been so nice to hang out with Joyska too! She has been so generous to let us stay over at her place! We've had some fun and yummy times at Panera Bread, Cold Stone and of course, our McDonald's drive thru experiences late at night! Bless you Joyska for your generous heart! We've enjoyed your presence over the last few days!

So, it is late already (in the afternoon) and I need to shower so that we can head out to the solemn assembly. It is worship and prayer from 2 until midnight. I'm looking forward to hearing an hour of Tim Hughes. I think it will be good! I'm getting ready to pray! Heck, if they open up the mic and I feel led, maybe I'll pray in the KC Convention Centre! We're going to head back to Joyska's, as is the present plan, to bring in the New Year together!

See you all back in Manitoba!

Merry Christmas!

So, it is Christmas today. I just got home, kissed my husband and wished him a Merry Christmas and had some breakfast after working the night shift. So, I was able to have many hours of Christmas already...unlike normal people that probably are still sleeping and haven't even woken up to Christmas yet. Our sweet charge nurse brought Christmas socks in for each of us that were working! And we had a yummy Christmas potluck. It was a really nice night actually! I had my delivery of the night earlier in the evening while it was still Christmas Eve. Then just helped out others and did break relief for the rest of the night!

As a child, we always celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve. I'm guessing that's why I find it feels more like Christmas when it is dark outside. When I was walking past the big windows that display the city and its' lights at the hospital during the night, it was special to me that I was awake in the wee hours of Christmas morning.

I didn't mind working Christmas this year. The shift was good and I haven't minded the idea of working Christmas. It was just a little sad to leave the festivities and head to work last night. I went to the in-laws' for Christmas munchies and got to see the family with Shaner for a little while. I felt a little like Eyeore....a little droopy and a little sad. It was mostly just for the ride to the hospital and the walk into the building. Then I got myself pep-talked into a better attitude.

Shaner and I are planning on sleeping the day away. We aren't really doing anything for Christmas this year here at our place. We'll probably eat something together for supper before I head back to work tonight. But otherwise, no presents to open from each other. It may seem strange, but I also think it is a good opportunity. It is probably some life lesson about our values about the real meaning of Christmas. We, generally speaking, say that Christmas is not about the presents. Well, at least for other years, we can look back at a our second Christmas as a married couple and say that we put our words into action. It really isn't about the presents but when you don't have them, you realize what a big part of the holiday they seem to be. It is both relieving/freeing and slightly too bad not to have presents for each other this year. It is a good experiment though.....

So, merry Christmas to you all. Enjoy the day....however you do that.

And happy birthday, my Jesus. I love you and I'm thinking about you.

Such wonderful news!!!!

Due to a very generous, anonymous person, Shane and I are going to Kansas City next week after all!

When we took our car in the other week and got new brakes and 4 new tires, we cancelled our trip to KC for December. We were disappointed, but had peace about not going. By that I mean that we weren't whining and pining for the trip. But, deep down both of us just couldn't believe that we weren't going. Shane thought that somehow we just might be going after all. I kept thinking that, but didn't know how that was at all possible. We didn't really verbalize that too much to each other, but just accepted that it looked like we weren't going.

Well, somebody approached us with a wad of cash to cover the trip and said that he/she wanted us to be able to go after all! After refusing the blessing twice, we accepted! And with joy! I'm totally pumped to be able to go to One Thing next week!

So, Shaner and I get to go to KC together again! We also get to be a part of a pretty great-sounding conference! 10,000 young adults! Incredible worship leaders and speakers! Fill me with knowledge and let me worship!

We'll be gone for 6 days and get to stay with our friend, Joyska! We've never stayed at her place before! I look forward to good times and good eats (here we come Panera Bread!).

And.....when we get back to Winnipeg, I'm working quite a bit and will be in Manitoba for 5 days before heading south to Puerto Rico with my sister for 9-10 days! It is holiday time for me! And what a blessing that both trips were totally taken care of! Otherwise they would have been impossible for us!

Thank-you Lord for your provision and blessings! He totally blessed us!

Ravenously hungry....

I think my spirit man is ravenously hungry today. I feel something pretty strong inside like an emotional craving or something. It is both very annoying because I automatically want to satisfying it easily and quickly, but also very good because I know that it is right. It is what I want my spirit to be doing! Longing after God!

The tough part is walking towards filling it. Having motivation to spend part of the day in prayer, read a bunch of the Word, rest in His presence. When I'm doing these things, I know they were exactly what I needed to do Strangely, everything in me tries to do other things instead of the very things that will satisfy and the very thing I was made to do. I hate the irony of that.

I just awoke and I'm already hungry in the spirit. I guess I better get to cooking......

Can you believe it?

Yesterday was the first 12 hour shift that I've ever done on LDRP when NO ONE, not one, came in in labor the entire day. That was totally not the usual.

At the beginning of the morning, we had a full board (all our rooms taken) minus 2 or so. We had so many discharges that by the time I left at 7:30pm, there was 5 patients left....and 5 nurses. I had 2 patients and their babies! When normally I have 4-5 moms plus their babies!!!! I was pretty unbelievable!

This is my theory: Being the last saturday before Christmas, everyone wanted to get to their Christmas parties, gatherings, finish shopping, etc. so instead of coming in with a hint of anything (labor, feeling sick, etc.) they toughed it out all day as to join in with the festivities. When these ladies go home at night after being up and about all day, eating lots, etc. that's when things will hit. That's when their aching bodies have time to rest and their brains have time to think. So, I'm off to work in the next 20 minutes and we'll see if my theory is correct. We'll see...

In the meantime, I got offerred to take another LOA last evening. That is always really nice, but Shane and I didn't have plans and we need the hours/money, so I declined. It was a nice evening to be there!

Yesterday, today and tomorrow...

I actually did 8 out of the 10 things to do on my list from yesterday. The only things I didn't do was the dishes and talk with the insurance guy! The day was full and fun! I really did enjoy the movie...Narnia....whatever they called it....The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe. I didn't have very high expectations and so I really enjoyed it!

Also, the neurologist put Shane on a new drug yesterday. The "new kid on the block" according to our doctor. He isn't allow to put just anyone on this drug, according to Pharmacare. We get to try it out because we're trying our fourth drug already! The bummer is that it is expensive! I joked with Shane in the car about the fact that we should get sponsered for our medical bills. It really isn't that bad at all! It is just a little stressful when you add more to the financial list! But, if it works, and doesn't cause icky side effects, I'll be so thankful!

As for today, I worked a 12 hour shift on Labor and Delivery. It was a nice day. And I actually still had the energy to do some grocery shopping afterwards!

Tomorrow, I'm back to the hospital again for shift 2 out of 3 this weekend. I think it should be a pretty good weekend.

Strangely, I'm kinda looking forward to working over the Christmas weekend.....I must be psycho! It is kinda special to be with patients on Christmas...especially those celebrating a special time in their lives such as an addition to their families! And to top it off, I get to take a family member with me over the wee hours of Christmas Eve!! My little sis (well, I guess that isn't exactly true...my mature, beautiful, adult sister) is coming to hang with me over a 12 hour night shift to job shadow me! We get to spend the whole shift together! I've requested that we be placed on one of the labor floors so that Steph can hopefully see her first delivery! That would be special! I want to see her watch her first birth! That is special for me too! It may be a little strange too...as my nursing role is a role that Steph hasn't seen me in before. None of my loved ones really...minus Christina as we were in clinical together. I'm really looking forward to having that shift together!

Well, I'm going to do a little vegging and reading before I hop into bed for a good night's sleep....maybe a warm bath would be nice......

Morning to you all!

Today is a sleep-in day for me and I actually got up at 9:30! That is pretty early for my sleep-in days! I wanted to get a bunch done today and not feel rushed.
Also, I woke up with a sore throat. Yucky! It wasn't sore yesterday when I saw the doctor! We'll watch and see what it wants to do.

So, on the agenda for today:
1. have breakfast

2. have some God time

3. do the dishes with Shane

4. ask Shane how the exam went (he's writing it as I type and it's his last one!!!!)

5. go to the gym this morning (we renewed our membership for the year yesterday....got an even better deal on it than last year! Thank-you Lord for the membership assistance program! Oddly, the girl that looked over all my finances and gave us the deal is a Christian, used to go to the Vineyard and now is aware of the House of Prayer due to our conversation! Small world!)

6. pop by the hospital to hand in my RN registration (it finally came! I've waited so long! Now I get a raise right in time for the Christmas time and a half hours! Yippee!)

7. have a nice belated birthday coffee with Christina! The warm drink should feel nice on the throat too! And coffee with Christina is always nice! Something we are trying to do regularly as we both work strange shift work, unlike most people we know.

8. talk with our insurance guy

9. pop by the neurologist...too many yucky side effects with the newest drug Shane's been on (since the end of October). We're going to try and start something new today! I'm SO THANKFUL!!!

10. movie with housegroup friends this evening! We're going to see Naria on the big screen! It will be fun to go out with th0se guys! Also, I had only heard the story once in grade 3 so I quickly read it last week. Now I'm up to date on the storyline!

So, when I map it out like that, it's a full day!!! I'm happy that I got up at a good hour to do all these lovely things! So, off I go to make a phone call or two and start the list! Honey Nuts Cheerios, here I come!

Just thinking about the physical response of crying....

Crying is a bit of a bizarre reaction. Tears flowing from your eyes, your nose getting involved and either running or plugging up, and your face scrunching up in a funny look. All of this really affecting your ability to speak or appear normal in public.

Yet, after you cry, there is such a feeling of relief. Strange, how a physical reaction that often comes from an emotional source, creates such emotional relief.

I tend to find myself a little on the teary side lately. And often at inopportune times, such as a work. I can always feel it coming on and it is really hard to stop the tears from coming and prevent my voice from giving it away. I always try to talk myself out of crying when I'm at work. Sometimes it works a little, other times, not at all. I had a teary experience yesterday and stated to the nurse I was talking with "I always cry at the most inopportune times!". That was the truth, but it was also a nice way to break the ice! It made us both laugh.

I do wonder what my tears and wailing do to the heart of my Father. I wish I really knew how much He loves me. I wish I really knew how my tears affect the feelings in His heart. I can't believe that when He is with me when I'm fighting tears at work, or allowing myself to wail in the car, that He is without compassion. He must feel a lot. I wish I had a glimpse of that revelation in my heart.

Well, crying is a healthy response. Jesus did it too.

HAPPY 23RD BIRTHDAY, CHRISTINA!!!

Today is my friend, Christina's, birthday. Birthdays are a big deal to her. She always feels a little strange around birthdays, processing the whole thing of aging. I think it may be getting easier for her over the years.

C - caring girl; Christina cares about those she loves. She is pretty thoughtful about the little things. She sends care packages to those she loves that are farther away. She usually remembers to ask you about small things that you previously mentioned...she's got a good memory.

H - helpful; Christina is a helpful girl. That is obvious in the profession that she has chosen and the way in which she cares to serve her patients. Christina has helped out with rides many occasions!

R - responsible; Christina is a pretty responsible girl. She has been out on her own and away from her family/parents for many years already. That required her to be very responsible. She's good with the resources that she has. She's also a reliable friend.

I - irreplaceable; Christina is irreplaceable. There is no one else like her. No one else with the same gifts, talents and quirks. She is uniquely herself.

S - sassy; Christina is a little sassy. Not in the way of speach, but in her "daring" side. She loves to pose (as you have probably seen in the pictures occasionally posted on her blog). You should see this girl salsa!

T - teachable; Christina has a very teachable spirit. She is willing to learn new things all the time. She has a tender heart that wants more and more of what God has for her.

I - interesting; Christina is interesting. She has good things to share with others. She has lots to offer. It is a good time hanging out with Christina. I love the times we have together!

N - nice; Christina is genuinely nice. She speaks well of people. She speaks kindly to people.

A - admirable; Christina is admirable. She is pursuing God in a way that is a good example to others around her. I admire the way she is desiring the things of God in her life in a real and true way.

Happy Birthday, my friend! It has been so nice to get to know you over the years, as roommates, nursing students, friends, and sisters in Christ! I hope to get to know you even more as we get older and have many more years of friendship!

Morning!

Yesterday had ups and downs.

Baking with mom was great! I am looking forward to the day when Steph doesn't work every week day and can join us in holiday baking! The babies were home and I got to give lots of loving, rock Vivi to sleep, give Caden kisses. Strangely, I don't seem to remember how to spell my foster brother's name! And I got to see my bro....who was very helpful in the afternoon, as he ran out and did errands for the bakers! Thanks Shaun!

As per the downs, the car needed a whole bunch of stuff done to it. Brakes, new tires, etc. Therefore, it equalled one whopping bill. And therefore the pre-trip inspection that we went there for, became a no-trip inspection. We will not be going to KC at the end of the month. No moula for that. We are disappointed but I'm ok with it. We hummed and hawed long enough in deciding that I was ok with either decision. We will enjoy the holidays here at home.

So, tonight I begin another round of night shifts. Only 2 this time. So today I hope to relax at home, hit the gym and then try to nap again this afternoon. See ya later!

Start up that oven, Mama! We're gonna do us some baking!

....off I go to Steinbach! Bright and early to get the car checked up at the dealers and to my mom's place! I pray that there isn't a lot that needs to be done with our car today! Please Jesus!

Christmas baking..... here we come!

Tomorrow morning I'm off to my mom's to bake some goodies for the season and our little Christmas party. We baked 5 different things last year. This year we are just choosing our favorite 3 from last year. We're not going overboard! It should be fun!

I had such a nice evening with my sister! Shane and I went over to see her new place and have supper with her. That was nice! Then Steph and I went to the Y together to get Steph hooked up with a pass and get her acquainted with the gym. It is going to be SO nice to have a gym partner again! I had a friend I went to some classes with (ie. butts and gutts) last winter, but she cancelled her membership and moved into the country. I've missed having a partner! Now I can hang with my sister, have a gym partner and having somebody with me will make me want to go to aquafit in the evening when I can! It will feel like a social outing! We ended our lovely evening with yummy eggnog steamers and a cozy time relaxing in Steph's new bedroom! She gave me a great wrist/forearm massage! That sounds pretty strange, I know. I've had such sore wrists in the past 3-4 days with work. My sister's massage gifting is one of the best-kept secrets! Oops.....guess I just made that one public knowledge!

I just finished working my 3 12 hour night shifts over the weekend. It sure feels like I fall off the scene during my working weeks/weekends. I'm ok with that though. It's all good. I think it is a maturing thing for me to not be able to make everything that I want to. It's good for me (though I don't always want to think so).

I'm soon off for bed....haven't slept in the nighttime since thursday night! I don't think it will be a problem! Except that I'm pretty awake and feel like doing stuff....and can't sleep in tomorrow!

I suppose it's back to the working world......

Because I wasn't at work on sunday (feeling yucky), I have been off for a week. It has been so nice! So, tonight is back to the working world. For 5 12 hour night shifts in the next week! Yikes! You practically eat, sleep and breathe work. It will be good to get back in the swing of things. I'm always a little nervous going back....especially after a nice break of a week!

I love the weeks off that I get. Especially at home with my husband. I go for coffee with friends. I make plans. I sleep in with Shane. We snuggle and watch Dr. Phil together. We go grocery shopping in the middle of the day. I go to the Y. We have a lot of relaxing time in our home....reading books, having God time. And I have the time to make good, hearty suppers.

Life is pretty sweet on my week off. It is during those weeks that I wonder what I would do if I had to be at work every day like regular people. It doesn't leave any time for anything! And then I tend to focus a little too much on work all the time...and my perspective is a little different than I'd like it to be. I sure like the perspective I can focus on when I have a whole lot of time to invest in reading the Word, prayer, listening to worship, etc. Your perspective is different when you surround yourself with these things....which is possible on my weeks off. I definitely see the diffference.

So, today I will go to the Y, hopefully set up the Christmas tree with Shaner and then take a nap before I join the owls working the night shift at the hospital tonight! Enjoy your weekends....mine is coming to a close as yours are beginning!

guess what just slid under the door?

the mailed-out, original copy of the criminal record check. must have gotten to a neighbor instead of me. the address was mine. somehow it didn't get directly to me. oh well. it actually arrived.

A big pain in the butt.....

Some policies suck. In my situation, I'm referring to the licencing stuff for my registered nurse licence. I'm playing a huge waiting game.

So, way back in mid October I received my final PASS in the mail from my RN exam that was written in August. I waited a long time to get that pass. So, finally having received it, I sent away my registration and fees right away! Every day that passes that I'm not registered as an RN, I am paid a few bucks less per hour.

The following week I received a call from the College of Registered Nurses of Manitoba informing me that I didn't have an accompanying criminal record check. There was no written instructions to get one done on the papers that I had received. It just said to fill out the registration papers and send in the money. I asked the lady on the phone who informed me that they stated the need for a criminal record check at an information session back in April at the University. Looking back, I had an exam that day and wasn't at that session. Besides, that was 6-7 months ago!

So, I got my criminal record check done on October 31. It was supposed to arrive on or after November 15. And supposedly, the College gave me 30 days from when they sent out the pass letter (in mid October) to get my RN licence, otherwise my grad licence would be expired. Still following?

So, I waited and waited. Last tuesday, the 22nd, I had to do something so that I could legally work my shift on thursday, seeing as though my criminal record check hadn't arrived, therefore my RN licence wouldn't be happening yet, and my grad licence had expired. So, I renewed my grad licence last tuesday.

Friday rolled around and I was at work. Human resources at the hospital called me about the fact that my licence was expired. I informed them of the situation and the fact that I had renewed my grad licence, yet they needed proof of that (which makes sense). I called the lady at the College all day. I finally got the ahold of her 30 minutes before the end of the day!

So, I've still been waiting for that stupid record check. Even this morning it had still not arrived!

That's it! Off to the police station downtown I go to figure this out. Well, they had no idea why I didn't receive it. They printed off a copy for me. No explanation, no apology. That sometimes sucks. But, the thing of most importance : I had a copy of the criminal record check in my hand.

Off to the College I go to hand it in in person to speed up the process. Now they can process my registration and hopefully I'll receive my licence in the mail in the next few days. (Crossing my fingers).

Then I'll be able to bring it in to Human Resources and get paid what a starting RN gets instead of my grad nurse salary. Whew! What a pain and what a mess! I'm glad that it is getting sorted out and almost finished!

A little under the weather....

I felt a little on the yucky side today. Not a great night's sleep last night.....with great feelings of nausea and a sore stomach. So, though I was supposed to work a 12 hour shift today, I called in sick for the first time since I started working at St. B in August. I wasn't on my death bed, but I didn't know if I would feel better or worse if I went in to work. You know, feeling nausous already and smelling the smells of labor and delivery could be a little conflicting for me! Also, if it was anything that I could spread, it wouldn't be a great idea to give my germs to little babies and their mothers.

So, an extra 6 hours of sleep helped a bit and I was feeling quite a bit better by noon. Still moments of sore stomach and nausous, but not so bad.

When you are feeling a little yucky but don't want to be sitting alone at home, mom's house is a nice place to go. I feel comfortable being lazy and sickly at my mom's house. So that's just what I did as I blessed my hubbie to go off and party for the Grey Cup. It was such a nice time to be with my bro, sis and mama. Ahhhh.....nice time.

It is too late for me. I must get these teeth brushed and get to bed! Nite all!

I don't know about this blogging thing....

Lots happening in my head and life, but I don't feel like putting it onto a screen. The trip down to Kansas City was incredibly good for Shane and I. Lots of time in the prayer room, good times with friends, lots of confirmations through the Holy Spirit, prophetic words, etc. That's pretty much all I have to say about that at this point.

Today I'm back to the grind of work. I haven't worked since the tuesday before the weekend! That is a long time! I'm trying to pray peace over myself to prevent being really anxious/nervous about working again. May I ask myself again, "why did I pick such a high energy, high stress area of nursing?" Oh yes, the rewards are great. It is special.

We called on tuesday for the MRI results. They are fine and normal. Shane's brain looks good with both the CT Scan and the MRI. He had another EEG on tuesday morning (the sleep-deprived one), so we'll see what that shows us. Shane got some awesome prayer time in the healing room when we were in KC. Since then, I haven't really put any thought into the concerns I sometimes have about Shane's health. It is covered and taken care of.

Off I go to face the day!

And........WE'RE OFF!!!!!

In a matter of 4 hours we are off on our trek to Kansas City! I'm wasting time in the meantime watching some tv and doing some blogging at Jason and Yvonne's who were so gracious to invite Shane and I over for supper and relaxing before we leave early in the morning (2:30am). I really should be napping, but I'm not so much in the mood to sleep. I want to get going!

We'll be out in KC until sunday, then we trek back. I'm actually looking forward to the drive. I know that I'll probably be sick of it pretty fast, but it is kinda fun to make memories with friends on roadtrips. And this time we get to add Corrie (Johan's wife) to the mix in the van! That should be fun! I'm not too excited about passing through South Dakota. Last time we went to KC, I was offended at how long that state felt. It felt like we were in South Dakota the entire 14 hours! Another good thing about the drive this time is that I don't have to stress out about the whole bladder thing. I learnt that when these people travel, they take many bathroom breaks! So I don't have to worry about having to pee my pants, or dehydrate myself (like I did last time) to prevent such accidents. Besides, we have a prego with us, and she'll need to pee, I'm sure of it.

As for KC itself, I'm really looking forward to the time in the prayer room. I plan on doing a whole lot of soaking, listening to what Jesus wants to say to me this weekend and communing with the Holy Spirit. I want to hear something and come away knowing something that I didn't before. That isn't too difficult a task while at IHOP....as last time I came back totally blown away with things I never heard/thought about before. Bring it on!!!!

So, I'm excited about what these next few days hold. I'm looking forward to some time in the prophesy room. I'm curious what I'm going to hear. I'm totally happy to be getting away with my husband and friends for a few days. I'm happy to be going to KC...it's such a beautiful city. I'm hungry to hear more teaching from the guys down there. They can impart so much as I learned last trip down. I'm looking forward to being in the atmosphere of 24-7 prayer and worship. It is indescribable. So, yes, I think I'm excited!

See you all next week!

It's a new day....

Thank-you for all your prayers. Shane's MRI went fine from what we know. He was out of there faster than we had thought it would take. Thanks pops (in-law) for taking Shane! Hopefully we'll have some results next week!

Another prayer request for all you out there that pray....
A friend of mine is having a court session today. She has to get on the stand and testify about a situation that involves someone that used to be very close to her. I am asking for you all to pray this morning/afternoon for peace, safety, a hedge of protection around her, and conviction in the courtroom. We prayed at prayer last night that no words that are untrue would be able to be spoken by anyone or heard, especially by the judge. Jesus, bring justice in this situation!

MRI day.

Today is Shane's MRI. We've been waiting for this test since July. Boy, 4 months is just a little too long to wait for a test in Manitoba!

The MRI is at 7:15pm. If you could all say a prayer, we'd appreciate that. Shane has requested that I stay home, at prayer, while he goes to the MRI. He said he doesn't want to cancel prayer night for anything. So, it is a little tough as a wife to stay home as he goes, but I know that I wouldn't get to be with him during it anyways, and we won't be hearing any results today either. Instead, Shane's dad is going to take him. And we are going to pray.

Otherwise, I think today will be a nice day. We both have the day off. No work, no school. It's past noon and we're just getting up. We'll clean the house, do some laundry, relax, etc. together. It is a pretty sweet deal to have days of in the middle of the week to hang out and relax with your spouse! I really enjoy this time in our lives!

Feeling like I just got off a merry-go-round and want to throw up!

Hee hee! That's a nice thought, eh?
I just got home from a 12 hour night. And though I tried to nap last afternoon, it did not work for me. So, I've pretty much been awake since yesterday morning at 8am when I got up for church.....and now it is a good 8:45am the following day! Yikes! What am I doing to my body?

Around 6am this morning I started to feel a little nausous with the whole exhausion thing. But, I made it and didn't die of sleep deprivation! And I sure plan on making up for it by sleeping all day and all night!

On top of all of that, I had a patient whom I felt a little out of my league with. Too many problems throughout the night that I didn't feel knowledgeable to handle! Medication error (not due to me, but I found it), wicked high temperature, potential allergic reaction to a drug, not very good fetal heart tracing, very sick mother, diabetes to boot, shortness of breath, etc. Yikes! I was a little overwhelmed. Almost went to cry on my break, but I didn't let myself!

The night is over for me. Someone else took over my patient. I will check when I go to work on wednesday how my patient did. Off to bed for me.

pretty tired.....

pretty stinkin' exhausted this evening. i was up at 5:30am for a workshop/conference thingy that i had over at HSC (health science centre). there were a bunch of obstetrical nurses from st. b and hsc, some obstetricians, residents, family docs and a few midwives. it was a pretty fun day....but the afternoon was really long! it was nice to interact with colleagues (i can now use that term!) in a setting that was away from work, and in streetwear! we always look the same in our green and blue hospital scrubs that have the big "property of st. boniface hospital" stamp across the front.

a highlight for me was learning how to do a forceps delivery! of course, it was on a fake pelvis and infant! but i got to figure out how to maneuver those forceps and step by step do the delivery. i got 100% on that skill station and an "excellent" writen by the senior resident who was marking me! that was nice! too bad i won't ever be doing it in real life, as that skill is totally not in my legal scope of practice!

well, i'm pooped. i really need to get some sleep tonight! tomorrow is another day off though....i love those!
nite!

.........ADIOS AMIGOS!!!!!!!!

Thanks to my wonderful sister............and her wonderful company............I'M GOING TO PUERTO RICO IN JANUARY!!!!!
Of course I have to figure out all the details/dates/work/etc.....but heck! I'm going! There is a business part to it for Steph, but mostly we get to enjoy a free, yes free, holiday, together in Puerto Rico!

We've always wanted to go on a sister holiday, but when funds are limited and you have a spouse, that isn't the first thing in line. So, here is our chance! Free, completely funded by her company! And I get to go as her guest!!!! That totally rocks!

I'm so excited to fly on a plane with my sister, get another passport stamp with my sister, lay on the beach in bathing suits and drink fun drinks with my sister, sleep in the same room and share a hotel room with my sister, eat in a variety of restaurants with my sister, participate in the activities that all-inclusive resorts offer with my sister, take some of their salsa and merengue dance classes with my sister, swim in the ocean with my sister, take LOTS of pictures with my sister, have warm weather in the middle of our Manitoban winter with my sister, .............MUST I GO ON?????

I am totally excited! And so very honored that I have a sister who would pick me as her guest! I love sisters!

Not so tough lately.....

I'm generally a pretty strong person, mentally and emotionally. I have felt great strength through the medical ordeals of Shane's epilepsy since July.

Lately, I'm not feeling so tough. In the past week, Shane has had 2 seizures, in which I have been here to help him recover from. Last wednesday morning, Steph found him on the floor in the office and quickly woke me up. Late thursday night, I was awoken from sleep to find him on the floor in the hallway. The banging of his fingers against the doorframe was loud enough to wake me up from a dead sleep.

That second one was a little too much for me. I felt so alone. It is 1am. People are sleeping. My husband is incoherent on the floor. It is dark. I have to start my first 12 hour shifts in my rotation in 6 and a half hours. Do I go to work? Do I stay home with Shane? Will he have another one in the morning if I go?

So, I called my mom after Shane came to and we got him into bed. And I cried. I haven't done that about the seizures and such in a while.

As for the doctor's this afternoon, again Shane's body is different than the norm. His levels are fine. Highly therapeutic. The therapeutic range is 8-12. Shane is at 11.2. That's a wonderful level to be at. Except that the seizures are continuing. We don't know why.

So, we were instructed to contact our neurologist directly, as this kinda goes out of the scope of what our GP is generally doing. I called the secretary. She's going to talk to the neurologist and then call us back probably tomorrow. She says that he may want to meet with us earlier than our next appointment. And, he may want to try a new medication. That feels like starting at the beginning all over again. For the third time.

So, I'm feeling a little down about the whole thing. I'm having a harder time with it than Shane is. It totally sucks emotionally to find your husband on the floor, unresponsive. It totally sucks to not know what is going to happen when you go to bed before him, or go to work in the morning. It totally sucks that I don't know if today will accompany seizures or not. It totally sucks for him and interferes with his whole day.

I'm scared about the MRI and what it might find. I'm annoyed with the idea of doing another EEG and not getting specific answers. And I'm afraid of the answers. I'm afraid of the possibility that the CT scan missed something important back in July and now we've waited until November to find out. I'm dreading the results and anticipating them all at the same time.

I'm just not feeling so tough right now. I could if I wanted to, but not today. I have the right perspective and have my faith in the Great Healer. But, today I'm sad.

Pathology....

Good news in the pathology department. Got the mole removed because my hubbie noticed it looking a little different over time and there were some abnormal qualities about it. The pathology came back all normal. No precancerous or cancerous cells at all. All normal! Thank-you Lord (not that I was really worried, but that's great regardless!)!

In other news.....

We have another doctor's appointment today. This time it is for Shane. We will be finding out what his tegretol levels have been with the recent seizures. We also have to inform the doctor of the latest one. I don't think we'll get many answers today...we are seeing the GP not the neurologist. But, some answers would be nice. Even if it was simply that the recent seizures were due to low levels, that would help. Continue to keep us in your prayers please!

Things to do today:

-do my hair for my driver's picture
-go pay the dentist
-visit the doctor's to get the stitches removed from my back (got a mole removed 12 days ago)
-bake something....somehow I feel like baking on tuesdays!
-clean the house with my hubbie
-spend time with my Jesus
-perhaps hit the weights at the Y
-pray this evening with whomever shows up for Tuesday Night Prayer

It should be a pretty nice day!

Just thinking....

I was chatting on the phone with a friend this evening (lovely Bonnie) for a short while, and realized something neat. It is in relation to the previous post...along the lines of passing my exam and graduating....the whole school topic.

Shane and I started dating in September of 2000....the fall after my high school graduation. I worked full time that year. I realized that working full time kinda sucked and decided to go back to school. I started my first year of university as the beginning of our second year of dating began.

The neat thing is that Shane has been either a boyfriend or a fiance or a husband through my entire nursing degree. From start to finish. I knew that....but I never really thought about it that way! That is so neat that he has been there through the entire process...all those years!

Another neat thing is that we are at the beginning again. Our roles have really changed in the last few months. I get up early, go off to work, have days off, can do some relaxing when I'm home, etc. I used to be doing some sort of homework all the time. Now, Shane is the one having to stay home with homework, sit in front of the computer typing papers for hours, etc. It is very different in that way than it used to be!

I think it is kinda cool that we are at the beginning of his degree, just like we were with mine 4 years ago. Those years went really quickly....and yet there were big things that happened in that time.....such as getting married! So, I'm curious what the next few years will hold and think it is a fun thought to be having another graduation in another 4 years! We'll see what happens as life pans out according to God's leading!

I passed!!!!! I passed!!!!!

I just had a feeling this afternoon to check the mail for my RN exam results! They were there! I've been waiting for them recently, since I wrote the exam back in the beginning of August. And lo and behold, I passed!

Yippee! Today I am going to mail off my RN registration, which of course accompanies a heafty registration cost. Then as soon as I get my registration in the mail, I will bring it to the hospital and get the increase in wage from graduate nurse to registered nurse!!! That, along with my degree, helps out the wage a bit! That is great!

So, now my last four years are officially and completely finished. I finished the classes, the clinicals, the RN exam, the convocation and now the final pass came that was most essential. Yeah! Finally a relief....it is completely finished!!!!

But, homework isn't. I'm off to do some readings for a workshop coming up......

I'm still alive.....

Tomorrow is my last 12 hour shift of 3....I'm pretty tired tonight! Long days, but they are not too bad so far.

Today was insane! I had two deliveries! I felt like such an adrenalin junkie....high to low, high to low, multiple times today! I'm ready to crash!

Today felt good though. It was insane. We were totally not staffed properly. BUT, I'm doing the stuff. I'm getting more into the flow. And that feels good!

(Not to mention, it feels good when your patient's husband tells you that you sound like you know more than the doctor! That really feels nice!)

Off to bed! One more to go!

Today is convocation.....

One last official celebration of the end of my bachelor of nursing degree. We had the pinning ceremony and dinner/dance back in April with the nursing faculty alone. That was a fun time!

Today is the big cap and gown day. A ceremony filled with a whole bunch of faculties, not only mine. But, I'm looking forward to looking all "graduated" in the cap, hood and gown! I haven't put one on since grade 12 grad back in 2000.

My lovely mom is getting a babysitter and coming out for the occasion. My dad is taking off the afternoon from work to come. My totally supportive sister is taking off work too! Not sure if my bro is coming yet, but I heard my grandparents are even coming in from Steinbach for the occasion!

Before we do that this afternoon, I am going to a graduation brunch one of my classmates is organizing. I'm looking forward to hearing about where everyone is now...even though it has only been half a year since we were in class together! It will be good!

One great thing about getting my degree today is that I can go to work tomorrow and have a few cents an hour increase by showing human resources my degree in paper! Not much, but every little bit helps!!!

Off I go to beautify myself!

Gotta make this quick!

I'm off to my first day in my new position! I'm a little nervous as I am orientating to one of the new wards this morning! I'm scared, a little! I hope I catch on super quick, as I only get 3 buddy shifts on this ward before I'm on my own! Please Jesus, would you be with me and give me a quick to understand and remember kind of mind!

Thank-you to each and every one of you who sent a happy birthday email, e-card, comment, took me out for a celebration in any way (especially Steph, Shane, my family, Shane's parents, Amy, etc), made a phone call to wish me the greetings, bought cake (housegroup), etc. I had a fabulous birthday! I celebrated all week long with the first outing starting on friday October 7 and the last celebration on saturday October 15!! That is one fun week!

Our computer has been dealing with a virus in the past few days so I have had a lot of time between the crashing computer and my husband who is busy doing home work on here, to blog. So, here is a very quick update! If you think of me, say a prayer about the first day on a new ward! I would totally appreciate that!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!

....and my dad, and my friend Ruth, and little Rachel! All of us are celebrating today!

I absolutely love celebrating birthdays! Today I turn 23! That sounds like a good age and a fun year ahead!

I'm meeting Stephanie for a pumpkin spice latte at 1pm.....then my hubbie has some sort of celebration planned for the afternoon and/or evening! I love it!

At some point today I want to sit down and journal about the thing that happened in my 22nd year and the goals and desires I have for the next year of 23. I'm kinda big on beginnings and ends. I think this will be a great year!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

Thinking quick this morning.....

I've been up for a long time! Besides a little nap last night, I've been up since yesterday morning! I worked the night shift last night and am soon on my way to bed.

I had a nice quiet night for the majority of it. I was awaiting the next laboring patient as my own. I got to do some readings for the hospital and a workshop I have to attend in the meantime, which was very handy. Though computer screens and florescent lights at 3am are not too wonderful on the eyes!

Well, in my patient flew at 4:55am and we welcomed the baby by 5:28! It was a quick one!

Then, I drove a girl from work home who lives very close to our appartment. On the way we were chatting and in the midst of the conversation it came up that Shane and I have dealt with medical issues this summer....namely, the seizures. It is amazing how sharing one little piece of info can open up another person. This girl just found out (within the last week I think) that she has a tumor on her spine. She told me some of the details around finding out and we had arrived at her place by this time. Just before she jumped out of the car, I mentioned that I would be praying for her. Then I asked her if I could pray for her right there in the car. I laid my hand on the top of her back and prayed for healing. I prayed for the outpouring of signs and wonders (see! the practice of tuesday night prayer is wearing off in the marketplace!!!). I prayed for the comfort, strength and support of Jesus over her. I asked her if we could cover her in prayer tonight, even though she isn't physically with us. She agreed and mentioned how the perfect people have come in contact with her lately. I thank God for those divine appointments and the God moment that we had this morning. I'm often so afraid to step out. It is embarassing and sad to admit. I just often feel the akwardness and don't know what to say. But today I did it! I was totally obedient and flowed naturally in the opportunity God gave me! I didn't even see it coming! Thanks God!

And to add more to the busy morning I've already had, I called the float pool boss and verbally agreed to take the new job in the float pool. I called my other boss to let her know that I will be taking a different position and had to leave a message. I wanted to speak to her in person, but I didn't see her at the hospital this morning. I hope it goes over well!!!!!!

So, I'm off to bed while my husband is still there! Ahhhh....sleep!

Lots of Thanksgiving.....

It is a pretty busy week over at our place with Thanksgiving and my birthday all in one week. Some years it actually is the same day.

Saturday was Thanksgiving with Shane's family, yesterday was with my mom's side, today with my dad's side. And then we are having a Thanksgiving dinner next sunday with my mom and siblings! Yikes!

Yesterday afternoon, Steph took family pictures for Shane and I! That's right! Pictures of our little family...just the two of us! They turned out so well! She really did a great job! I just want to keep looking at them!

In the job area, it looks like I'm going to take the plunge and take the new job offer. There are so many good things about it, that I don't want to turn it down! I'm definitely scared about it, but I hope it is such a great decision for our family!

So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, here are some things I am thankful for:
- my awesome husband and rockin' marriage!
- my great friends and family members!
- that there is always food in my house
- warm bathes
- my comfy bed and warm blankets
- a great group of people at church that have some of the same vision!!! Yah! I love when that happens!
- our little prayer group on tuesdays!
- my job and God's financial provision for us
- God's destiny for our lives and the excitement it brings!
- Being willing to follow in whatever God leads....having the faith through Him to have taken some steps this year (eg. Shane quitting his job, going to school, etc)
- this upcoming year and all the awesome things it is going to bring! More wisdom and revelation of Jesus, walking further into our callings here on earth, loving each other more, and hopefully a bunch of great and exciting things!

Thank-you Jesus for all you've done, all you're doing and all that you are going to do!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!!!!

So, the job situation.....

I got a call on thursday with another job offer. I must have applied for it a while back and somehow it is up for my grab right now. I guess the girl that originally got it, got another position and now I'm the next one for the picking.

So, I asked a bunch of questions on thursday and friday and now Shane and I are praying about it over the weekend. I have to give in my answer by tuesday at noon. The boss is holding it for me until then.

These are the details:
-It is a .75 permanent position. A .75 means about 7 and a half 8 hour shifts in a two week period. Full time is 10, which is the other position I'm supposed to be starting. By about the .85 position you are looking at another tax bracket, so I'm told. So, really I'm not making that much less at a .75 plus getting paid out the stats as opposed to the full time. And I can pick up when I want to.
-Unlike the permanent position that I got a few weeks ago that starts a week today, this new position is 12 hour shifts instead of 8 hour ones. That means a psycho amount of work in a few days, but a lot more time off in between.
-The schedule is downright incredible. My full time would be 7 on, 2 off, 3 on, 2 off. Pretty psycho. You practically live at the hospital. The .75 is 3 on, 2 off, 2 on, 6 off, 3 on, 3 off, 2 on, 7 off. So, pretty much I would get 2 weeks off a month!
-The scarey part.....the .75 is in the maternal/child float pool. This means I wouldn't be sticking to the same ward each day I go to work. The full time is on the low risk labor, delivery, recovery, postpartum side. With the .75 I would be starting off the hop on LDRP (where I am presently), L & D (higher risk....did half of my practicum there), and I'd be orientated to 3A Postpartum right away. By January at the latest I would be orientated to 3B....gynecology(womens' surgeries) and antepartum (where women go when having troubles earlier in their pregnancies). By spring, I would be in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit). Can you say incredibly frightening but an incredible opportunity????????

So, I've heard good feedback from some people I love and trust. I am leaning towards this new position but want to continue to ask Jesus about it. It would be a year of INTENSE LEARNING. A really steep learning curve. But, it would be an incredible opportunity for me and would allow me to be more diverse in the areas I nurse and make me more and more valuable in my employment.

Oh, and one more thing that was positive. I had already arrange a few days that I needed off in November. This new job would require me to work those days. So I asked if those days would be flexible or not, as that would influence my decision. The boss is totally willing to switch those days for me if I take the job. Yikes!

So, pray for Shane and I as we pray and ask for wisdom. I know it sounds like a no-brainer, but there are some pros and cons to each decision. I'll keep you posted!

And.......celebrate!

This morning/afternoon will be a fun time! Sisters know how to celebrate one another the best! Steph is taking me out for my birthday a few days early so that we could celebrate it on a weekend. We have pedicures at 10am! I love those things! Such a girly/sister thing to do! Then we are going for lunch at PineRidge Hollow! She even made a reservation! Ahhh...the atmosphere and the food there make it very wonderful. Then we are off to Birds Hill Park for some horse back riding. I am excited! I'm a little scared of horses, but that is minor! We will enjoy ourselves like crazy today!

Last night we went out with my mom, brother, sister and Shane for the family celebration for my birthday! We went to Olive Garden and though the wait was extremely long, it was a great time! Such funny conversations can come up when you are with family! I love my family very much!

So, I will update about the job thing later when I have a moment! Gotta run!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRIAN!!!!!

Today is Brian's 40th birthday! And he seems to love birthdays! So, pray for the guy today!

In other news, lots of things going on in my mind. Today we are going for lunch with my dad, a funeral for Shane's friend and a family birthday celebration for me! My birthday is on wednesday! It is a day full of highly charged emotional stuff....celebrations and sadness. If you think of us today, say a prayer. The funeral is at 2pm.

Interesting decisions coming up about my job. I'll fill you in later.

Prayer please....

It has been a rough week around here. Last week monday we got the results from the EEG saying that there are some abnormalities in Shane's left temporal lobe. That same day we went to the doctors' and had another blow by seeing him check off the "permanent" box in regards to the "disability". A little disheartening. Shane has another EEG and an MRI scheduled for November. Then we had another seizure thursday morning, which hasn't happening in quite a while. Very disheartening.

Now, we found out later on last night that a friend of Shane's growing up died yesterday morning in a car accident.

Shane is really having a tough time this week. Pray for my hubbie if you would. Pray for peace. Pray for comfort. Pray for a heart and mind of an overcomer in the midst of grieving.

Tenderizing of the heart...

I arrived at church today feeling alright, definitely tired. Worship started. I found myself unable to keep myself from crying. My eyes just teared and teared, accompanied by the rest of my body joining in with all the emotion. I didn't know what kind of reaction I was having!

I've been asking the Lord to reveal His affections to my heart lately. I want to know in my heart, instead of just my head, the affections that Jesus has for me. I want fresh revelation all the time about how Jesus feels about me.

Yesterday I was having some time with the Lord and asked to feel/know the affections he has for me. I felt a fierce love. His ravenous desire for my presence. Wow, He fiercely desires my very presence. He longs for me far more than I long for Him!

This morning, I felt the tender emotions of love. He really is my only hope. I felt that. I felt that my heart was being tenderized. I felt unexplained vulnerability, but it was a good thing. Whatever He was doing, it was a good process in my heart. No matter what happens on this earth, in my life, He will always be with me. His purpose for me is number 1. When it doesn't make sense, doesn't seem fair or part of what I would think would be the plan, He is sovereign.

Today I choose to give my yes to all that God has for me and my life. Today I choose to say that God is good. Today I choose to hear His voice and live fully. Today I choose to fix my gaze on Him regardless of what is before me. I set my mind, my heart and affections on Him.

I fiercly desire to know His emotions and affections. I will know the heart of my Lover more. I will.