Not so tough lately.....

I'm generally a pretty strong person, mentally and emotionally. I have felt great strength through the medical ordeals of Shane's epilepsy since July.

Lately, I'm not feeling so tough. In the past week, Shane has had 2 seizures, in which I have been here to help him recover from. Last wednesday morning, Steph found him on the floor in the office and quickly woke me up. Late thursday night, I was awoken from sleep to find him on the floor in the hallway. The banging of his fingers against the doorframe was loud enough to wake me up from a dead sleep.

That second one was a little too much for me. I felt so alone. It is 1am. People are sleeping. My husband is incoherent on the floor. It is dark. I have to start my first 12 hour shifts in my rotation in 6 and a half hours. Do I go to work? Do I stay home with Shane? Will he have another one in the morning if I go?

So, I called my mom after Shane came to and we got him into bed. And I cried. I haven't done that about the seizures and such in a while.

As for the doctor's this afternoon, again Shane's body is different than the norm. His levels are fine. Highly therapeutic. The therapeutic range is 8-12. Shane is at 11.2. That's a wonderful level to be at. Except that the seizures are continuing. We don't know why.

So, we were instructed to contact our neurologist directly, as this kinda goes out of the scope of what our GP is generally doing. I called the secretary. She's going to talk to the neurologist and then call us back probably tomorrow. She says that he may want to meet with us earlier than our next appointment. And, he may want to try a new medication. That feels like starting at the beginning all over again. For the third time.

So, I'm feeling a little down about the whole thing. I'm having a harder time with it than Shane is. It totally sucks emotionally to find your husband on the floor, unresponsive. It totally sucks to not know what is going to happen when you go to bed before him, or go to work in the morning. It totally sucks that I don't know if today will accompany seizures or not. It totally sucks for him and interferes with his whole day.

I'm scared about the MRI and what it might find. I'm annoyed with the idea of doing another EEG and not getting specific answers. And I'm afraid of the answers. I'm afraid of the possibility that the CT scan missed something important back in July and now we've waited until November to find out. I'm dreading the results and anticipating them all at the same time.

I'm just not feeling so tough right now. I could if I wanted to, but not today. I have the right perspective and have my faith in the Great Healer. But, today I'm sad.

Pathology....

Good news in the pathology department. Got the mole removed because my hubbie noticed it looking a little different over time and there were some abnormal qualities about it. The pathology came back all normal. No precancerous or cancerous cells at all. All normal! Thank-you Lord (not that I was really worried, but that's great regardless!)!

In other news.....

We have another doctor's appointment today. This time it is for Shane. We will be finding out what his tegretol levels have been with the recent seizures. We also have to inform the doctor of the latest one. I don't think we'll get many answers today...we are seeing the GP not the neurologist. But, some answers would be nice. Even if it was simply that the recent seizures were due to low levels, that would help. Continue to keep us in your prayers please!

Things to do today:

-do my hair for my driver's picture
-go pay the dentist
-visit the doctor's to get the stitches removed from my back (got a mole removed 12 days ago)
-bake something....somehow I feel like baking on tuesdays!
-clean the house with my hubbie
-spend time with my Jesus
-perhaps hit the weights at the Y
-pray this evening with whomever shows up for Tuesday Night Prayer

It should be a pretty nice day!

Just thinking....

I was chatting on the phone with a friend this evening (lovely Bonnie) for a short while, and realized something neat. It is in relation to the previous post...along the lines of passing my exam and graduating....the whole school topic.

Shane and I started dating in September of 2000....the fall after my high school graduation. I worked full time that year. I realized that working full time kinda sucked and decided to go back to school. I started my first year of university as the beginning of our second year of dating began.

The neat thing is that Shane has been either a boyfriend or a fiance or a husband through my entire nursing degree. From start to finish. I knew that....but I never really thought about it that way! That is so neat that he has been there through the entire process...all those years!

Another neat thing is that we are at the beginning again. Our roles have really changed in the last few months. I get up early, go off to work, have days off, can do some relaxing when I'm home, etc. I used to be doing some sort of homework all the time. Now, Shane is the one having to stay home with homework, sit in front of the computer typing papers for hours, etc. It is very different in that way than it used to be!

I think it is kinda cool that we are at the beginning of his degree, just like we were with mine 4 years ago. Those years went really quickly....and yet there were big things that happened in that time.....such as getting married! So, I'm curious what the next few years will hold and think it is a fun thought to be having another graduation in another 4 years! We'll see what happens as life pans out according to God's leading!

I passed!!!!! I passed!!!!!

I just had a feeling this afternoon to check the mail for my RN exam results! They were there! I've been waiting for them recently, since I wrote the exam back in the beginning of August. And lo and behold, I passed!

Yippee! Today I am going to mail off my RN registration, which of course accompanies a heafty registration cost. Then as soon as I get my registration in the mail, I will bring it to the hospital and get the increase in wage from graduate nurse to registered nurse!!! That, along with my degree, helps out the wage a bit! That is great!

So, now my last four years are officially and completely finished. I finished the classes, the clinicals, the RN exam, the convocation and now the final pass came that was most essential. Yeah! Finally a relief....it is completely finished!!!!

But, homework isn't. I'm off to do some readings for a workshop coming up......

I'm still alive.....

Tomorrow is my last 12 hour shift of 3....I'm pretty tired tonight! Long days, but they are not too bad so far.

Today was insane! I had two deliveries! I felt like such an adrenalin junkie....high to low, high to low, multiple times today! I'm ready to crash!

Today felt good though. It was insane. We were totally not staffed properly. BUT, I'm doing the stuff. I'm getting more into the flow. And that feels good!

(Not to mention, it feels good when your patient's husband tells you that you sound like you know more than the doctor! That really feels nice!)

Off to bed! One more to go!

Today is convocation.....

One last official celebration of the end of my bachelor of nursing degree. We had the pinning ceremony and dinner/dance back in April with the nursing faculty alone. That was a fun time!

Today is the big cap and gown day. A ceremony filled with a whole bunch of faculties, not only mine. But, I'm looking forward to looking all "graduated" in the cap, hood and gown! I haven't put one on since grade 12 grad back in 2000.

My lovely mom is getting a babysitter and coming out for the occasion. My dad is taking off the afternoon from work to come. My totally supportive sister is taking off work too! Not sure if my bro is coming yet, but I heard my grandparents are even coming in from Steinbach for the occasion!

Before we do that this afternoon, I am going to a graduation brunch one of my classmates is organizing. I'm looking forward to hearing about where everyone is now...even though it has only been half a year since we were in class together! It will be good!

One great thing about getting my degree today is that I can go to work tomorrow and have a few cents an hour increase by showing human resources my degree in paper! Not much, but every little bit helps!!!

Off I go to beautify myself!

Gotta make this quick!

I'm off to my first day in my new position! I'm a little nervous as I am orientating to one of the new wards this morning! I'm scared, a little! I hope I catch on super quick, as I only get 3 buddy shifts on this ward before I'm on my own! Please Jesus, would you be with me and give me a quick to understand and remember kind of mind!

Thank-you to each and every one of you who sent a happy birthday email, e-card, comment, took me out for a celebration in any way (especially Steph, Shane, my family, Shane's parents, Amy, etc), made a phone call to wish me the greetings, bought cake (housegroup), etc. I had a fabulous birthday! I celebrated all week long with the first outing starting on friday October 7 and the last celebration on saturday October 15!! That is one fun week!

Our computer has been dealing with a virus in the past few days so I have had a lot of time between the crashing computer and my husband who is busy doing home work on here, to blog. So, here is a very quick update! If you think of me, say a prayer about the first day on a new ward! I would totally appreciate that!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!

....and my dad, and my friend Ruth, and little Rachel! All of us are celebrating today!

I absolutely love celebrating birthdays! Today I turn 23! That sounds like a good age and a fun year ahead!

I'm meeting Stephanie for a pumpkin spice latte at 1pm.....then my hubbie has some sort of celebration planned for the afternoon and/or evening! I love it!

At some point today I want to sit down and journal about the thing that happened in my 22nd year and the goals and desires I have for the next year of 23. I'm kinda big on beginnings and ends. I think this will be a great year!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

Thinking quick this morning.....

I've been up for a long time! Besides a little nap last night, I've been up since yesterday morning! I worked the night shift last night and am soon on my way to bed.

I had a nice quiet night for the majority of it. I was awaiting the next laboring patient as my own. I got to do some readings for the hospital and a workshop I have to attend in the meantime, which was very handy. Though computer screens and florescent lights at 3am are not too wonderful on the eyes!

Well, in my patient flew at 4:55am and we welcomed the baby by 5:28! It was a quick one!

Then, I drove a girl from work home who lives very close to our appartment. On the way we were chatting and in the midst of the conversation it came up that Shane and I have dealt with medical issues this summer....namely, the seizures. It is amazing how sharing one little piece of info can open up another person. This girl just found out (within the last week I think) that she has a tumor on her spine. She told me some of the details around finding out and we had arrived at her place by this time. Just before she jumped out of the car, I mentioned that I would be praying for her. Then I asked her if I could pray for her right there in the car. I laid my hand on the top of her back and prayed for healing. I prayed for the outpouring of signs and wonders (see! the practice of tuesday night prayer is wearing off in the marketplace!!!). I prayed for the comfort, strength and support of Jesus over her. I asked her if we could cover her in prayer tonight, even though she isn't physically with us. She agreed and mentioned how the perfect people have come in contact with her lately. I thank God for those divine appointments and the God moment that we had this morning. I'm often so afraid to step out. It is embarassing and sad to admit. I just often feel the akwardness and don't know what to say. But today I did it! I was totally obedient and flowed naturally in the opportunity God gave me! I didn't even see it coming! Thanks God!

And to add more to the busy morning I've already had, I called the float pool boss and verbally agreed to take the new job in the float pool. I called my other boss to let her know that I will be taking a different position and had to leave a message. I wanted to speak to her in person, but I didn't see her at the hospital this morning. I hope it goes over well!!!!!!

So, I'm off to bed while my husband is still there! Ahhhh....sleep!

Lots of Thanksgiving.....

It is a pretty busy week over at our place with Thanksgiving and my birthday all in one week. Some years it actually is the same day.

Saturday was Thanksgiving with Shane's family, yesterday was with my mom's side, today with my dad's side. And then we are having a Thanksgiving dinner next sunday with my mom and siblings! Yikes!

Yesterday afternoon, Steph took family pictures for Shane and I! That's right! Pictures of our little family...just the two of us! They turned out so well! She really did a great job! I just want to keep looking at them!

In the job area, it looks like I'm going to take the plunge and take the new job offer. There are so many good things about it, that I don't want to turn it down! I'm definitely scared about it, but I hope it is such a great decision for our family!

So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, here are some things I am thankful for:
- my awesome husband and rockin' marriage!
- my great friends and family members!
- that there is always food in my house
- warm bathes
- my comfy bed and warm blankets
- a great group of people at church that have some of the same vision!!! Yah! I love when that happens!
- our little prayer group on tuesdays!
- my job and God's financial provision for us
- God's destiny for our lives and the excitement it brings!
- Being willing to follow in whatever God leads....having the faith through Him to have taken some steps this year (eg. Shane quitting his job, going to school, etc)
- this upcoming year and all the awesome things it is going to bring! More wisdom and revelation of Jesus, walking further into our callings here on earth, loving each other more, and hopefully a bunch of great and exciting things!

Thank-you Jesus for all you've done, all you're doing and all that you are going to do!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!!!!

So, the job situation.....

I got a call on thursday with another job offer. I must have applied for it a while back and somehow it is up for my grab right now. I guess the girl that originally got it, got another position and now I'm the next one for the picking.

So, I asked a bunch of questions on thursday and friday and now Shane and I are praying about it over the weekend. I have to give in my answer by tuesday at noon. The boss is holding it for me until then.

These are the details:
-It is a .75 permanent position. A .75 means about 7 and a half 8 hour shifts in a two week period. Full time is 10, which is the other position I'm supposed to be starting. By about the .85 position you are looking at another tax bracket, so I'm told. So, really I'm not making that much less at a .75 plus getting paid out the stats as opposed to the full time. And I can pick up when I want to.
-Unlike the permanent position that I got a few weeks ago that starts a week today, this new position is 12 hour shifts instead of 8 hour ones. That means a psycho amount of work in a few days, but a lot more time off in between.
-The schedule is downright incredible. My full time would be 7 on, 2 off, 3 on, 2 off. Pretty psycho. You practically live at the hospital. The .75 is 3 on, 2 off, 2 on, 6 off, 3 on, 3 off, 2 on, 7 off. So, pretty much I would get 2 weeks off a month!
-The scarey part.....the .75 is in the maternal/child float pool. This means I wouldn't be sticking to the same ward each day I go to work. The full time is on the low risk labor, delivery, recovery, postpartum side. With the .75 I would be starting off the hop on LDRP (where I am presently), L & D (higher risk....did half of my practicum there), and I'd be orientated to 3A Postpartum right away. By January at the latest I would be orientated to 3B....gynecology(womens' surgeries) and antepartum (where women go when having troubles earlier in their pregnancies). By spring, I would be in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit). Can you say incredibly frightening but an incredible opportunity????????

So, I've heard good feedback from some people I love and trust. I am leaning towards this new position but want to continue to ask Jesus about it. It would be a year of INTENSE LEARNING. A really steep learning curve. But, it would be an incredible opportunity for me and would allow me to be more diverse in the areas I nurse and make me more and more valuable in my employment.

Oh, and one more thing that was positive. I had already arrange a few days that I needed off in November. This new job would require me to work those days. So I asked if those days would be flexible or not, as that would influence my decision. The boss is totally willing to switch those days for me if I take the job. Yikes!

So, pray for Shane and I as we pray and ask for wisdom. I know it sounds like a no-brainer, but there are some pros and cons to each decision. I'll keep you posted!

And.......celebrate!

This morning/afternoon will be a fun time! Sisters know how to celebrate one another the best! Steph is taking me out for my birthday a few days early so that we could celebrate it on a weekend. We have pedicures at 10am! I love those things! Such a girly/sister thing to do! Then we are going for lunch at PineRidge Hollow! She even made a reservation! Ahhh...the atmosphere and the food there make it very wonderful. Then we are off to Birds Hill Park for some horse back riding. I am excited! I'm a little scared of horses, but that is minor! We will enjoy ourselves like crazy today!

Last night we went out with my mom, brother, sister and Shane for the family celebration for my birthday! We went to Olive Garden and though the wait was extremely long, it was a great time! Such funny conversations can come up when you are with family! I love my family very much!

So, I will update about the job thing later when I have a moment! Gotta run!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRIAN!!!!!

Today is Brian's 40th birthday! And he seems to love birthdays! So, pray for the guy today!

In other news, lots of things going on in my mind. Today we are going for lunch with my dad, a funeral for Shane's friend and a family birthday celebration for me! My birthday is on wednesday! It is a day full of highly charged emotional stuff....celebrations and sadness. If you think of us today, say a prayer. The funeral is at 2pm.

Interesting decisions coming up about my job. I'll fill you in later.

Prayer please....

It has been a rough week around here. Last week monday we got the results from the EEG saying that there are some abnormalities in Shane's left temporal lobe. That same day we went to the doctors' and had another blow by seeing him check off the "permanent" box in regards to the "disability". A little disheartening. Shane has another EEG and an MRI scheduled for November. Then we had another seizure thursday morning, which hasn't happening in quite a while. Very disheartening.

Now, we found out later on last night that a friend of Shane's growing up died yesterday morning in a car accident.

Shane is really having a tough time this week. Pray for my hubbie if you would. Pray for peace. Pray for comfort. Pray for a heart and mind of an overcomer in the midst of grieving.

Tenderizing of the heart...

I arrived at church today feeling alright, definitely tired. Worship started. I found myself unable to keep myself from crying. My eyes just teared and teared, accompanied by the rest of my body joining in with all the emotion. I didn't know what kind of reaction I was having!

I've been asking the Lord to reveal His affections to my heart lately. I want to know in my heart, instead of just my head, the affections that Jesus has for me. I want fresh revelation all the time about how Jesus feels about me.

Yesterday I was having some time with the Lord and asked to feel/know the affections he has for me. I felt a fierce love. His ravenous desire for my presence. Wow, He fiercely desires my very presence. He longs for me far more than I long for Him!

This morning, I felt the tender emotions of love. He really is my only hope. I felt that. I felt that my heart was being tenderized. I felt unexplained vulnerability, but it was a good thing. Whatever He was doing, it was a good process in my heart. No matter what happens on this earth, in my life, He will always be with me. His purpose for me is number 1. When it doesn't make sense, doesn't seem fair or part of what I would think would be the plan, He is sovereign.

Today I choose to give my yes to all that God has for me and my life. Today I choose to say that God is good. Today I choose to hear His voice and live fully. Today I choose to fix my gaze on Him regardless of what is before me. I set my mind, my heart and affections on Him.

I fiercly desire to know His emotions and affections. I will know the heart of my Lover more. I will.

HE IS SO FAITHFUL....I KNEW IT ALL ALONG!!!

I have great news that I found out at 5pm today! I got a permanent job!!!!!

When Shane and I decided last month (August) that he would quit his job and go back to school, I had a term position that ends next friday. It was a little scarey, but we felt that we heard right and we went for it! Because we were resting in the fact that we felt we heard right and obeyed, we trusted that God would provide a job after my lovely .7 term ended. I've been applying for everything (minus one full time evenings position....because that would be AWEFUL) since the beginning of July. Multiple times I've thought that I'm going to get the position and people who I wouldn't think would want the position, would apply for it! They were coming out of the woodworks!

I can be a person that stresses out a little. It is a sucky part of my humanity that I'm often dealing with in my character. There were a few moments in the last 2-3 months where that stress wanted to slither its way in to make me worried about provision and whether or not we'd have any income coming in after September 30. But, amazingly, I've been really at peace about the whole thing. Each time I would apply, not hear back and know that someone else had got the position, I wouldn't feel that stressful feeling that can be so natural. I have felt a lot of peace throughout this process and really felt my heart resting in the fact that I knew that God would provide something. I just knew He would. And He did.

My unit manager called me today with 2 positions that I could choose from!!! One was a term and the other a permanent. So, I picked the permanent because that means it is mine until I quit! It doesn't run out and isn't only for a short while! It is mine!

So, I got a full time, day/night, 8 hour position on LDRP....where my present term is. It is going to be pretty crazy working so many days and nights...especially with lovely stretches of 7! But, God totally provided for us! And this is something that will provide income, allow me to work lots and get more comfortable in my first year of nursing, and provide for us an income that will get us through a few more years as a one-income, one-student family! Also, it leaves all my evenings open to continue to pursue the things I love along side my husband, such as tuesday prayer nights, housegroup, Encounter God Nights on sundays and friends and family! I am totally blessed.

What a praise report! And I knew it all along!

A little tip I've been learning....

Prior to leaving for a shift at the hospital, I can still get that nervous/dreading feeling about what my shift could hold. I've been told that that feeling often is present throughout the first year of working.

I love when things go right and it feels like you are competent and smooth sailing! I worked nights the last two nights and am a little wired from my last shift. So, I thought I'd blog and eat some cheerios before heading to bed for the day.

When I got on we had multiple patients in labor. I had seen the board and knew that my assignment was a first time mom that was 5 cm. Ok...that's not so bad. Well, after putting my lunch away and getting myself together, I heard loud screaming from a room down the hallway. I thought for sure that has to be the other patient that is almost fully dilated. BUT OF COURSE NOT! It is my lovely patient...absolutely freaking out (and adamantly not wanting an epidural). When they are out of control, it is hard for me to remain calm sometimes. I get a little frazzled inside!

So, I managed to remain incredibly calm despite the circumstances! After being with her for 20 minutes and seeing how out of control she was, the patient said she wanted an epidural. I noticed a strange sense of grunting/pushing while she was screaming through her contractions. I checked her and sure enough....from 5 cm to fully dilated in half an hour. No epidural there after all.

I thank the Lord that it was that quick, because that could have been a very intense situation for quite a while!

Then, another laboring patient was assigned to me at 5:45am. I'm thinking, she too is a first time mom, only 4cm and really calm. I should not be having another delivery on my shift at this rate. This patient remained that calm the entire time ( a little demerol had something to do with that....but not all). She just happened to mention to me that she felt a little like pushing the last few contractions. So, I checked her and lo and behold, she was fully dilated! So, I'm thinking, I'm off in the next 45-60 min. I probably won't get to meet this little one on my shift. Well, she was a fabulous pusher and my second delivery (the doctor made it to both!) of the night happened just as I was supposed to be leaving!

So, this is the little tip that has been helping me these days. When driving to work in the car, I pray prior to getting to the hospital. Part of my prayer asks God to keep me safe and my patients safe, well and alive. The other key part of my prayer is reciting the verse, "Nothing is impossible with God!". This focuses me to know that no matter what case I find myself in at work, God is right there with me and nothing is impossible with Him!!!! This has been my saving grace lately. Thank-you Lord for being with me in each situation and in each delivery! And He's making me feel more and more competent and comfortable in those situations! That feels nice!

A little bit from Revelation....

I've been reading the book of Revelation, while going through the book "When Jesus Returns" by David Pawson. I was doing a little more reading/studying again this afternoon. I ended a certain section and liked the last bit that Pawson ended with. Here it is.

"If the 'Big Trouble' only covers the last few years, it may be that we shall not have to face it in our lifetime. So, could it be a waste of time for all but the last generation of saints to prepare for it?

One answer is that the current trend and speed of world events makes it an increasing possibility in the near future.

But the main response to this kind of thinking must be the reminder that future events cast their shadows before them. In other words, what will one day be experienced by the whole church on a universal scale ('hated by all nations' Matt 24:9) is already happening in local and regional settings. Any Christian can go through much tribulation before all go through the 'Great Tribulation'. We must all be ready for the kind of troubles that reach a climax then, but can come now.

This section (Revelation 6-16) is therefore directly relevant to ALL BELIEVERS, whatever their contemporary situation. The church is already under pressure in the majority of countries and the number of those where this is not the case diminshes annually.

And beyond all this lies the return of the Lord Jesus Christ, for which EVERY BELIEVER needs to be ready. The main motive for preparing to be faithful under pressure is to be able to face him without shame. "

I myself stressed the all/every believer parts. I believe that this book isn't one that should be pushed to the side and forgotten about in the Bible. As it is warned at the end of Revelation, "I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophesy of this book: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book. And if anyone takes away from this book of prophesy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book." (Revelation 22:18,19) Therefore, if we as believers disregard this book, we are taking away from this book in our own lives. By pretending that it doesn't exist in the Bible, never studying it or reading it, or disregarding the parts we don't understand or make us feel uncomfortable, we are taking away from the intention that God has for this book. He wouldn't have put it in the Bible or shown these things to John if they weren't important and to be included.

The main point is that we as believers need to be ready for the things ahead. We need to have a mindset that is looking ahead and prepared, both for eternity and for our futures here while still in this life. We could experience the things we read about in Revelation in our lifetime. Or, we may not. But, I don't want to be unprepared if we are that last generation. Regardless of our level of understanding or interpretation of the words written in Revelation, the fact remains that we need to be prepared and need to explore the words written in this book. The New Testament alone makes reference to Jesus' coming over 300 times. Clearly it is a crucial part of the story.

So, I challenge you, take a step toward the book of Revelation. Open it up, and read it. Front to back. Ask questions. This book was written for you and I, just as the other books of the Bible were.

I like the country!

I'm looking forward to the day when we can move out of the busy city and settle down in the country (or small town) somewhere. Life just seems slower when you leave the city limits.

I had the day off yesterday and I had a great day! I slept in, got to see my hubbie in the morning, walked him to the bus stop to send him off to school, went for a good workout at the Y, baked carrot cake, then baked banana bread, did some laundry, and got ready for the evening! Whew! It felt pretty productive! I know that I'm having a relaxing day at home when I have time to bake something. It has been a while....it always feels nice when there is something fresh, knowing I've made it, and the appartment smells nice!

Yesterday we went for supper and a bonfire at my dad's in Mitchell. Supper was yummy! Dad barbequed salmon and I brought the carrot cake. Mmmmm.... Around 9pm and later, friends came for the fire. It was sort of a belated celebration for Shane's 25th birthday last month....and sort of just a general bonfire. I just love the fact that people can get together and stare at a fire for hours and be content doing that for an evening. That is so great!

Needless to say, it was a really late night! So, I'm up after a sleeping-in kind of morning....Shane's still enjoying the zzzzzs.

What a day!

There are a number of special things about today. #1 - 5 years ago to the day Shane and I started dating...or whatever you want to call it. I started out calling it "friends with benefits" but that was before I realized what kind of benefits people would generally think I meant! Then I abandoned that phrase!

#2 - As I mentioned before, today is Shane's first day at school! That's special!

#3 - I DELIVERED MY FIRST BABY TODAY!!!!
Yes, you read right! Today was an insanely busy day for me! I had two of my laboring patients deliver, with fairly quick labors. For the second one, I ended up doing the delivery. Mom wasn't pushing so great, and so I thought it might be a little while before we would be having that baby. Well, once that magic push that moves baby's head around that pelvic bone happens, there is no turning back! Usually that means there is at least a little more pushing for a first time mom! Well, that wasn't so! I pulled the emergency light to get some help and quickly paged the doctor for delivery from the room. My unit manager (who does NOT do hands on work on the ward) and a grad nurse that was orientating to the unit responded. Usually it is the nurse with more experience who delivers...so I thought the unit manager would! Well, she was moving a little too slow for me! That baby was coming and someone had to deliver it, so I jumped in! I delivered the head only to find a tight nuchal cord (umbilical cord around the neck). Generally you can pull it gently over the baby's head. Well, this one was pretty tight. I didn't want to pull on it too much! There was no stopping this mom...and in the midst of getting that cord away from the neck, she pushed out the rest of the baby. I clamped the cord and gave the dad the honor of cutting it...amidst the craziness of the situation!

So, I am broken in officially with my first delivery. The new grad nurse that was present was a girl that was in school with me. She hasn't done labor and delivery yet....and was pretty excited about the whole thing. She gave me great feedback on how well I did the delivery and how calm I was! That was nice! I didn't know how my unit manager would react to me doing a delivery. She saw me at the end of the shift and gave me great affirmation about what a great job I did! That was great!

Now I'm pooped! With all that adrenalin pumping all day long, I'm totally exhausted this evening. I've also worked 10 out of the last 11 days...and some overtime on top of that! I have the next 3 days off! Yippee!!!!

Off to make tacos for supper with the husband! See ya!

HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL TO MY HUBBIE!!!

Today is Shaner's first day of school for the year! I'm excited for him! He's been preparing, already reading textbooks!, and getting excited for this new life of studenthood! I'm happy for him!

It is going to be weird being the one without the homework! It is such role reversal for us! So, while he is studying away, I can read books for fun and study the Word! That part really rocks!

So, cheers to my dude and have a wonderful first day!

No thoughts to share these days....

Sorry people....no great things to share lately. Actually, nothing much to say at all. And not a whole lot of time that I feel like spending typing out the thoughts that are in my head as of late. I'd rather speak them to those around me.

Maybe tomorrow.....

Glowing....

You ever have one of those days when you feel like you are glowing? I just felt like my face was glowing today. Not with redness and sweat from working hard but with a softness and a smile that comes from inside. I don't know what made my face feel different than usual, but somehow it did. Today, while I worked with the pregnant patients and those who had just had their little ones, I felt that I was in on the "pregnant glow" without the pregnant part.

Now that the shift is over and I'm home and pretty tired, I feel more droopy than glowing! Whew! Number 6 in a row and I'm back tomorrow! Yikes! I'm thankful I turned down that overtime today...they seem to be asking every day! It is nice to know that work is available!

Baby steps of faith.....

So, Shane and I decide that he is going to go back to school and pray/study the Word at home. Shane hands in his 2 week notice on August 22. My term position that is supposed to be until October 1 goes up for grabs as a permanent position on August 26, with a start date of September 3 for whomever gets the position. This means that I could be out of a job as of saturday.

But, we choose not to stress and choose to trust that we heard right and rest in the fact that God is our Provider....not money or jobs.

I talked to my unit manager this morning after my night shift. (Yeah! I did 4 nights in a row and totally made it with no problems! I can handle the night!) Naturally, someone with more seniority got my great .7 position.

BUT, there is good news of God's faithfulness! She is letting me finish my term until September 30 (which was going to be my last day anyways). Instead of today being my last day, I get to have the whole month of September to work, roll in a little dough, and apply for more positions that come up! Thank-you Jesus for your provision! He is going to take care of us!

Speaking of last days of work......tomorrow is Shane's last day!!! And then he will welcome the world of long prayer times, time to listen to good teaching tapes, hiding away in the spare room, reading and studying the Word, and working hard at school! Does that tempt any of you?

Cheers to my Provider!

I love the end and the beginning!

I really like the idea that today is the last day of August and that as of tomorrow, we are starting a whole new month! I'm looking forward to the fall, even though I could handle a few more months of summer weather. There are good things happening in my life and I'm excited to learn more, experience more and grow more this next year.

I was reading in Revelation this evening. I really get awed/inspired/excited about that book. Today it felt as though I was reading it for the first time all over again.

"I saw the thrones on which were seated those who had been given authority to judge. And I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded because of their testimony for Jesus and because of the word of God. They had not worshipped the beast or his image and had not received his mark on their foreheads or their hands. They came to life and reigned with Christ a thousand years. (The rest of the dead did not come to life until the thousand years were ended.)" Revelation 20:4,5

So, I pondered the thousand year reign for a bit. Wow! That is going to be pretty amazing! Those that know Jesus and follow him will reign with him for a thousand years! That means we will be reigning with people of the Bible like the 12 disciples, Queen Esther, Ruth, Paul.....I never thought of this before! It is going to be pretty interesting to see how God makes all things new as He promised (21:5) and what kinds of roles we will all play in this Kingdom on earth. I'm feeling the mystery and the awe of what is to come.....

Not much to say....

Not a lot of inspiration to blog lately. Enjoying life nonetheless.
-Had my bro over last week for 3 days (can't remember if I blogged that before or not)
-Attended a really nice wedding on friday night
-Had a hilarious dinner at Applebee's with Shane's grandpa and parents on saturday...grandpa is SO funny!
-Had Shane's parents over for chatting and a movie on saturday night! That was really nice!
-Enjoyed singing at Encounter God Night with Johan and Krista! I like working with them! Feeling a smidge less uncomfortable about being up there after last night....for now!
-Worked the night shift last night....leaving in the next 10 minutes for night shift #2 of 4 this week.

Adios, must comb my wet hair and brush my teeth before flying out the door! Hope it's a good one tonight!

IT DIDN'T FLOP!!!!

Just returned home from working the evening shift on L & D. I haven't been there since my senior practicum...as my job right now is on LDRP. I just picked up an extra shift tonight and they put me there! It was nice!

I realized something in the car on the ride out of the parkade this evening. I've been hearing other nurses say that some days are good and others are bad as you start out. It can take a good year before you don't get sick at the idea of coming in for a shift out of fear and apprehension!

I realized that I'm the kind of person that likes it black or white...not that I didn't know it before, but I realized it again. If something bad happens in the shift, it gets deemed bad. Even if the majority was good. I tend to sum up the evening far too quickly when things get a little crazy.

So, I'm proud to report that tonight was not a flop!
- I had 2 great couples to work with
- They thanked me for doing a great job! How nice!
- I did a pelvic exam...and totally felt the cervix and knew exactly what I was feeling! Didn't have to doubt myself or get a second opinion! Lately, I'm getting them more often..but it is an acquired art, that's for sure!
- Administered a certain medication through a pump that I haven't given since sometime in my practicum...and gave it safely!
- Transferred a patient and was with her on another ward for half an hour and everything went very smoothly!
- Set up/assisted/etc. an epidural and it went well! Last week was my first time doing the whole epidural process alone (without another nurse to help) and it totally flopped! I forgot SO many things and it was with one of the anesthesiologists that isn't the most friendly! That sucked! But tonight went well and the doc was awesome!
- Saw the CRN (head cheese) of the unit that I normally work on (hadn't seen her since my practicum) and she was super glad to see me around. She totally complimented and encouraged me by saying that I'm in the right place and to apply for everything that comes up job-wise! How sweet!
- I got my first pay check! It will be direct deposited into our account tomorrow! But, I got to look at the pay sub.....boy, they took 1/3 of my cheque away!!!! Deductions suck!

So, I'm deeming this night a success! Even though not everything goes smoothly, I'm going to try to give myself a few more pats on the back these days. So, good job!

And for our latest news.....

I didn't want to steal Shane's thunder...but now that some of you know of our latest plans, I can post them too!

Shane handed in his 2 weeks notice on monday! He is going back to school in two weeks from tomorrow! The schedule we managed to work out allows him to do full time university and part-time prayer/God time as his life for the next year! It is quite a nice schedule! And I'm totally excited to see Shane thrive and do something that he loves! He is planning on working towards getting into Athletic Therapy.

It has been a huge leap of faith for us at this point in our lives! We have been praying hard about this decision in the last month and a bit. Shane had wanted to go back to school, but we only got really serious about thinking about it with all the medical issues in the last 5-6 weeks. Now we are praying for a year term or a permanent position for me so that we have finances coming in. That's mostly why this is such a leap of faith at this time (finances).

I'm excited about a new season for us...and more specifically for Shane. I think it will have its tough moments, as normally happens when one spouse is a student, but I think it will be life-giving. I know, now from experience, that it really feels good to work hard at something like a university degree, and then complete it! And be able to have a career in what you love to do! I'm also totally pumped about what God wants to do with my hubbie in the next year! Now with more deliberate space and time to spend with God, I'm really excited to see what is going to come out of it!

Well, that's all the news for now!

Slacker....

I've been SUCH a slacker at going to the gym this summer....it has pretty much been nonexistant! That is so bad! Especially because they are giving us such a nice discount!

So, today I went for the first time in a LONG time! I went to my first ever aquafit class...and it was really fun! It was me with a group of middle-aged and senior women! They were great! And I enjoyed being the young one amongst nice older women =) Though, I just can't be quite as "free" as they are in the shower room after the class! Yikes! I'd rather be wrapped up in multiple towels with no skin showing...thank-you very much!

You may, or may not, have read my hubbie's blog this morning.....a new season is coming for us and it is pretty exciting and scarey! No, we are NOT having a baby! I'll wait to post it for a bit...so that his blog gets the first readers, as it is greatly his news to share!

Ahhhh Love.....

We got to attend my cousin's wedding yesterday and dance the night away in the evening! Bring out the ugly dancing, Steph!

I really enjoy going to weddings, and especially hearing the vows that people make to one another, in front of friends, family and God. It is really a special thing that has such mystery and awe in my heart. It is a glimpse of eternity.

The reception was pretty fun! It was held in a nice restaurant that is actually a renovated old barn! The food was amazing! And there was tons of it! And the dancing was fun! Steph can encourage just about anyone to dance with her...minus the boys in our family (Shane, dad). One guy said this was the first time anyone has gotten him to dance sober. We told him that anyone can do it because the rule is the uglier, the better! Therefore, anyone can! It was so fun to see people who normally wouldn't feel confident to even move at all in regular dancing settings, going for it with us! That made me feel nice!

Oooo..they had a bit of a surprise for the guests at the ceremony. When the pastor announced the couple at the very end, we found out that the groom had changed his name to the bride's last name! I haven't been to a wedding that has done that before! That was a big surprise! They are going to get lots of cheques with the wrong last name from the presentation!

Well, after that nice party and seeing as though I'm working the night shift tonight, Shane and I slept the morning away. It was wonderful. And I've got to use my vocal chords tonight at Encounter God Night and I'm nervous about that, on a side note! I've got the heart, and the desire, but only wish that God would impart the voice! Help! I need supernatural help! And a whole lot of strength added to my voice!

So, I will have some God time, some food and tidy up my messy house this afternoon. Enjoy the rest of the weekend and relax!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVORITE MAN ON THIS EARTH!!!!!

Today is my Shaner's 25th birthday! Sounds like an exciting year.....25! I'm exciting to see what God is going to continue doing in my hubbie this year! I think there are really good things in store!

So, enjoy this day, babe! It's all about you today!......and really, when can you say that except on your birthday???!!!

One small factor that kinda sucks is that I'm working from 3:30-11:45pm today =( That means work people and Shane's family get to do all the celebrating today. That sucks, but oh well, we can celebrate other times! We went for an early birthday dinner just the two of us on wednesday to Moxie's. That was nice! And we get to sleep in as long as we want tomorrow, together! Yippeee!!! No work!!! Maybe I'll make my Shaner a special breakfast or something....and then we are off to a wedding for the afternoon/evening. You know what that means? I get to dance with the guy! Yeah!

So, adios! I'm off to see my mom and the babes in the mall for an hour! Ta ta for now!

Good morning.....well, actually good evening....

I am up from my night...while the rest of regular life goes on as I sleep the day away.

Thanks for prayers last night and today. The night went well. Shane felt a little sick but no seizures so I am very thankful! My shift was nice too. I recovered a patient who had just delivered an hour before my shift started and then got a laboring patient at 4am. I got her the epidural she wanted and succeeded in starting the IV! I haven't done one in a little while being off the past few weeks and all, so I was a little nervous when I couldn't see any veins! Well, I went by feeling and actually got it right away! Woo hoo!!

Tonight we pray! I'm looking forward to meeting some new people that are checking out prayer tonight! It is totally great how we are not advertising prayer night and yet somehow word spreads and people are starting to come that I've never met before! Only You, Lord, only You. Do Your Will in our home, during our prayer times and bring the ones that You want to our way! Have Your Will tonight and speak to us about what is on your heart!

I work again tonight. I hope that 7 hours of sleep today was enough to hold me through the evening and night! It's going to have to be!

Adios, I'm off to pick up my husband and clean my house before people arrive tonight!

A few concerns tonight....

1. My first night shift of my position starts in 40 minutes and is also the first one since all the stuff has happened with Shane....meaning Shane is home alone at night. That is making us a little nervous tonight as he is feeling funky on his meds lately and that is the time of day that is a little scarey for us. Please pray!

2. Yesterday was a pretty hard shift. Had a laboring patient. Out of control. Language barrier. Difficulty with the baby at delivery. Really freaked me out. In the end, left the room to have a big cry in the bathroom. Way too intense for a newby like me. I'm concerned about tonight's shift.

So, in general lately, there are good days and bad ones. Today is one of those bad ones and I would really appreciate some prayer!

Babies, babies....

So, last night was a little scarey, but a little empowering. I had my first shift as a real nurse working with a laboring mom. Can I say thank goodness for epidurals? It made my job so much easier last night! Boy was I scared when I got to work and saw that I was with a laboring patient! Yikes! I had a nurse help me out right at delivery and the doctor made it....but otherwise, I did it! I was THE nurse of the evening! And it wasn't so bad! That feels good!

We picked up our car this morning in Steinbach. It had to get work done on the handles from the break-in we had in July. Stinkin' deductible! Oh well...so goes life!

I'm off for another shift....still a scarey thing! But I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! I have to remind myself that I will never be alone....Jesus is always with me!

Have a great saturday!

Going to do it all over again......

I'm off to my second shift in just a little while. I haven't let myself think much about yesterday's shift so that I wouldn't get nervous about today. So, I'm still keeping that motto and not thinking about work much until I get there! So far, it seems to be working alright for me!

I'm working evenings all this weekend for a girl that wanted the weekend off. She switched me so that I could go to my cousin's wedding next weekend....and then asked me to switch a few more shifts so that she could spend more time with her husband. It worked out ok for me...I get to go to the wedding now and I get two weekends off out of the deal! That is nice! Also, it is good to be at work a lot at the beginning so that I can get into the flow of things. Big breaks in between shifts would make me a little more nervous!

I just returned from a nice "coffee" time with my lovely friend, Christina! It is so nice to both be starting out in our nursing careers and have each other to talk to about it. There is something about connecting with someone who is doing the same things as you....and it is special since we did a lot of our training/schooling together! Thanks for calling Chris!

Well, I'm off to relax a little until it is time to leave! Have a good weekend!

Insanity!......but I survived........

It was a really crazy first day at the hospital. See, I thought maybe I'd get a little orientation seeing as though I've been away from the hopsital for 3 weeks, and not been on that ward specifically for 2 months to the day. That is quite a while for a newby like me.

Nope. No such luck. No orientation. No buddy nurse. All alone. Very alone.

Generally, a maximum of 4 moms and 4 babies is the workload. That in itself keeps you quite busy! What did I have as my assignment my first day as a "real" nurse? 5 moms and 5 babies!!! I thought I might go nuts!

I had some nice help later on in the day, though....or I wouldn't have made it! But, I'm just learning as I go! It is quite strange to be having to teach someone a skill that I haven't even learnt yet!

And to top it off, I was asked to work overtime on my first day there! Yikes! Not today....but for future reference, time and a half will be nice......=)

Off to watch a movie with friends that are coming over with ice cream treats! Yippee!

Today is the day......

It is bright and early and it was hard to drag myself out of bed.....not the greatest sleep with many awake periods....
But, today is a new day and I am starting my job! It is going to be great and I hope to love going to work each day!
I'll let you all know how it goes!

Have wonderful days!

One.....well, two, last things before I jump into bed........

Tomorrow is my first day of my first nursing job ever! I would be totally nervous if I let myself think about it. But, I'm not thinking about it so that I don't get uptight about tomorrow! Ok, you prayer warriors, pray tomorrow like you did today, because I totally felt that! I begin my nursing career on LDRP bright and early tomorrow morning! The first day of getting paid! Bring it on!

Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LITTLE BROTHER!!! Today is his real birthday, even though we celebrated over the weekend! I even got to call camp this evening and talk to him myself! That was nice! Happy 17th birthday Shaun! That is such a great sounding year....17....ahhhhh....I loved that year!

Off to bed to get in a good night's sleep.....zzzz......

I'M DONE!!!!!! YIPPEEEEEE!!!!!!

I got out of my exam early both this morning and this afternoon! That is a nice bonus! And now, I'm finished it all! Just have to wait up to 3 months to get the results of pass or fail......I better have passed! It could have been a lot worse. It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. But, I also could have done a lot better. Doesn't matter anymore! I'm finished!!!!

Thanks for all your prayers! I totally felt them! I felt a lot of peace, wasn't anxious at all today. And I didn't even reach barf stage from writing for too long! It really did go pretty well. The massive headache I had for the entire afternoon sucked though. Oh well.

As for Shane, here is the update since the weekend:
- Seizure during the night on sunday to monday (first one in 3 weeks)
- Neurologist appointment on monday afternoon
- Increasing the medication aggressively, especially since the recent seizure activity
- EEG (to look at electrical activity in brain) bumped up to September 19 instead of October 31, by being willing to pay a simple fee of $20
- MRI being booked...not sure when.....in the next 3-4 months
- Echocardiogram being booked...not sure when.....heart murmur found in the neurologist's office that day (that was the icing on the cake!)
- official diagnosis of epilepsy...but no answer of why at this point....

Therefore, with the diagnosis, the neurologist says we don't have to keep a seizure count going, we probably still will keep them counted and recorded for our own info and to tell our doctor, but we may not post them anymore as it is a pretty personal issue and I really want to be respectful of Shane's feelings in this area. All of the updates posted were info that Shane was comfortable to share thus far......just disclaimering that we may not share all as the crisis part seems to be settling down as we adjust to all this stuff......

Please keep on praying and keep giving us all the wonderful support that you great friends have been giving! Thanks for all the encouragement! We have totally appreciated it!

18 minutes until leaving time.......!!!!!

No, I'm not boarding a plane, going on an exciting voyage or having a baby....
It is E day....Exam Day.....the biggest one in my nursing career, and the one least studied for!
I leave by 7am....register at 7:30am....start writing around 8am....
We are scheduled to write until 6pm! I sure hope that I don't go crazy sitting and writing a test that stinkin' long!
I totally haven't studied enough...but what is enough? I could spend forever learning more and relearning the last 4 years of information!

On another note, prayer last night was awesome, in my opinion! I really need to blog very soon about topics like the weekend at the lake, Shane's neurologist appointment that was on monday and prayer last night! Soon.......

Please pray for me today if you think of me! Thanks so much!

To the lake we go!

Rock Lake, here we come! I'm looking forward to the weekend that I'm going to spend with my family and hubbie at the lake! My brother has been out there working for the summer and we are all going up this weekend to see him, visit camp and be blessed by what God is doing out there. My mom, sister, brother (I think), and Shane and I are all in one big lodge room together! That should be fun...and maybe a little interesting! I do believe my dad is coming out on saturday too to visit!

It is my baby bro's birthday on wednesday (when I'll be writing my exam)....so I'm bringing him a card and a cd as a little birthday celebration. I hope he enjoys them! He's going to be 17 already....guess he's not really a baby bro technically at that age! Oh well, he's still my baby bro!

I'm really needing a little gift from the Lord this weekend. I hope it is a refreshing time for my whole family. I just want a little something....not exactly sure what.

So, I will do a little more studying, finish my packing and take my hubbie for another doctor's appointment! Adios amigos! Enjoy the warm weather this weekend!

One last exam.....

Well, my RN exam isn't until next wednesday, but I'm feeling the pressure of needing to study more than I am! I just went hard for an hour and now I need a breather. Blogging and a bath sounds like a good way to clear my mind!

If I think about next week, I sorta start to stress out! Wednesday is my exam and it is ALL day long! We have to be there early...like 7:30 or 8am....and are scheduled until 6pm! That is one full day!

Then I start my job the next day bright and early! I'm totally freaked out about starting out on my own! I don't think I get any orientation or anything, because I've been there during my senior practicum. That freaks me right out, because I haven't been on LDRP since the beginning/middle of June. That is 2 months ago already! And I feel like I learned so much on L & D that I need to have a refresher of the other unit. I learned most of my labor stuff on L & D and now I need to figure out what is the same and what's different on the other ward.

I hate feeling stressed out! I really need some prayer and a bathe to get some peace flowing! If you think of me in the next week...especially next week.....please say a little prayer! It is such an exciting but totally scarey time in my life! Yikes!

And the update continues.....

So, the doctor put Shane on a corticosteriod to help with the rash. Already by this morning, the rash is looking better! We still have the benadryl on hand to help with the itching, but aren't needing it quite as much as before. The plan is to be on the steriod for 1 week or so.

We went to the lab this morning to get Shane's tegretol levels drawn. We see the family doc again on friday and will find out what kind of levels we're at this time. In the meantime, if the rash doesn't go away, Shane could be allergic to tegretol as well. Let's hope not! The doc mentioned that he entertained the idea of taking Shane off everything and clearing out his levels completely before starting all over again. But, both him and Shane didn't want to take the chance of seizures in the meantime. So, we'll keep on plugging away!

And, great news! We got our appointment letter for the neurologist in the mail yesterday! It is for this coming monday! That was really fast! 4 days short of a month to the day since the first 2 seizures. Thank-you God!

In my own little world, I am studying a little each day, since monday, for my national RN exam that is next wednesday. I'm trying to fit all kinds of things into my days at the same time. For example, today I took Shane to the lab and then to work, am going out for lunch with my friend Tanya to celebrate her birthday and then visiting my mom and her babies for the afternoon! I'm so looking forward to holding my now 7 pound foster sister!

I'm a little anxious these days about two jobs that I applied for earlier this week. I desperately want one of them! So, pray that if it is in God's plan for us, that I get one of these two jobs and that I find out quickly! .....in the meantime, I'm trying not to get my hopes up, as I am at the very bottom of the seniority pole! So, pretty much NO ONE has to apply for me to get it! Please, nobody apply!

Must go get some studying in before I take off for Steinbach for the rest of the day! Bye for now!

Update on the medical side of things.....

Shane still has a lovely rash that he's had all over since last wednesday when we visited Emerg. It doesn't seem to be getting any better. His hands and arms look a little better to me, but his back, legs and feet look worse! He's still really itchy at times and is taking benadryl to help with the itchl.

Shane started on the new anti-convulsant on friday night. Since then he's had some nausea, a painful stomach, he's still a little dizzy on occasion, has had a headache that comes and goes and has just a little bit of a stutter left. Still not really enjoying this!

So, I called the doctor's again this morning to check in. He wants to see us again today, even though we are already seeing him on friday afternoon. He may start Shane on some steriods.....I'll fill you all in when we get back from the doctor's this afternoon.

Today is also Shane's first day back at work. It isn't too exciting for him to have to go back in the midst of all of this. It would be nice to get things stable first. So, we are praying that his workplace is gracious with all these doctor's appointments and weekly visits to the lab which cut into his work day.

We are continuing to pray for wisdom and guidance as to what to do in this time. Thanks for your prayers!

Tag? You're it?

Supposedly there has been this thing called "tagging" that has been happening on some blogs in cyberspace. According to the comment Lynne left on my last post, I too have been tagged. Guess that means you all get to hear a little details about me.



10 years ago today-> I was 12 years old and on summer holidays between grades 7 and 8.....not working, going to Rock Lake with my family and Eagle Lake Bible Camp with my friend Amy

1 year ago-> was working at a personal care home and landed myself a not-so-hot back injury and had be off of work for months! and was a newlywed of a month and a half...

Yesterday -> had a fabulous day with some friends at Birds Hill enjoying the hot weather, then a great barbeque/potluck with odds and ends from our fridges, topped with a stroll to the Forks and a visit to the new Salisbury House for Dippin' Dots

Tomorrow -> study for my RN national exam that is coming up next week!, bring my husband to work (first day back, yikes!), 10% tuesday grocery shopping, prayer in the evening

5 snacks I enjoy -> 5 cent candies of any kind, chocolate, fruit (berries especially), ice cream and I must say slurpees as a snack!

5 adult beverages I enjoy -> the occasional margarita or daquiri....otherwise just slurpees! I don't have 5 adult beverages I enjoy!

5 bands I know the lyrics to-> lots of worship stuff like Third Day, Chris Tomlin, and other singers that I'm ashamed to admit like Avril Lavigne (sadly), Britney Spears (the occasional song), some of U2...

5 things I would do with $100 000 000 -> travel, pay off my student loans/car loan, build a house, give money to my family and Shane's family (pay off debt for them), take people grocery shopping that can't afford it/and other charities, etc.

5 locations I would like to run away to -> Mexico, Africa, Mediterranean Cruise, Europe, Kansas City =)

5 bad habits I have -> assuming, worrying, procrastinating, leaving the fridge door open when I get something out of it that is going to go right back in, letting people get me riled up over stupid things that I really should let slide

5 things I love doing -> dancing, spending time with family and friends, being pampered (especially getting massages), barbeques, and.......oh yes, I'll keep the others to myself as this is a G rated blog ;)

5 things I would never wear -> a spacesuit, stelletos (not sure the spelling), black, knee-high boots, a thong bikini, or cowboy boots

5 tv shows I like -> this is a hard one, as we do not get reception at our place...but in retrospect....Dr. Phil, Oprah, Survivor, CSI, reality tv (but not all of those silly shows!)

5 movies I like-> Father of the Bride, Much Ado about Nothing, Little Women, Bride and Prejudice (newer, Bollywood movie), My Girl.....that was a tough question!

5 famous people I would love to meet-> Jesus, Mary (Jesus' mother), Paul, Queen Esther, John (to ask more about the book of Revelation).....ok, all people of the Bible.....I really don't care to meet "famous" people! I just like to read about their lives in the checkout line...

5 biggest joys at the moment -> snuggling with my husband, holding babies, having a warm bath, having a great coffee date with a good girlfriend, having a great worship/prayer time (loving Encounter God Nights!)

5 favorite toys-> we don't really have a lot that would be classified as "toys"....computer, our new coleman stove/grill, our air conditioner, my waffle iron, my microwave.....mostly appliances, I guess

5 people to tag -> Stephanie, Christina, Alexandra, Bonnie, and Joyska ( I hope none of these people have already been tagged! If so, opps!)


That was tough!!! I didn't know 5 answers for a bunch of them! Oh well! Whatever!

Ahhhh....a piece of contentment....

It is sure nice to have a sister-in-law and brother-in-law that have a pool on hot days like these!

After working hard this morning/afternoon, cleaning Steph's appartment and moving out the rest of her stuff, Shane and I headed to his sister and brother-in-law's for a nice barbeque potluck.

It was great to sit by the pool, swim a little in the heat, drink cold drinks, eat yummy food and chat with family for hours this afternoon/evening. And the light show (lightening) later on in the evening when it was dark was great entertainment!

I had a nice summer-kind of day today! And I enjoyed it! I hope for a bunch more this year!

Heaven would be nice......

Some days I just really want this world to pass away, this life on earth to end, and heaven to be my immediate home. I feel a hunger, a discontentment sometimes. I search within to see what is up. I sometimes try to fill it by trial and error. No. Sometimes it just comes down to a longing for my Home. When I'm feeling a little out of sorts and really sit down to examine why, often it is that I want heaven.

Today, this afternoon, right now, I want heaven.

I'm not satisfied today on earth. I'm tired of this place. I want more than it has to offer me. I want the perfection of the new heaven and the new earth. I want to see my Jesus face to face. I want to see my name written in heaven. I want to see the place prepared for me.

(Now, those of you with all kinds of differing opinions about the end of the age, humor me and don't debate this time. I just wanted to verbalize my desire for what is to come...however it is going to look. And also, don't get worried that I'm wanting to die or anything. I love to live, but today I long for heaven.)

So, Jesus, impact my world with Your reality. Show me a piece of heaven here on earth. Be near. Create in me a content heart....a heart that is content in any and every situation. Open my eyes to see things the way that You do.

Friends, doctor's appointments and sisters.....

I had such a nice morning/afternoon with my friend Amy! We met at the St.Vital Mall and window shopped and such for baby and maternity clothes. She is expecting her first baby in January and I am the super excited friend! We became best friends in grade 6 and though haven't always had a ton of time together since grade 9, still consider each other close friends. She was one of my bridesmaids when I got married last year. It was such a nice break to get out of the house, put my worry aside for a few hours and talk with a girlfriend. Such good medicine!

Then I took Shaner to the doctor to let his family doc know about the latest info (re: allergic reaction). Lo and behold, the blood that they took from him yesterday showed that he has been at TOXIC dilantin levels! The poor guy! The norm is a range from 10-20. Shane had a whopping level of 35.72!!!!! His doctor hadn't seen a level that high in 14-15 years of practice!!! No wonder he's been stuttering, dizzy, a little wobbly and really exhausted! I don't have to worry these few days that he is off the meds about him having a seizure because with that level, and the drug being long-acting, he definitely won't have a seizure any time soon! Strangely, Shane was at a very common dosage of dilantin. Anyways, we start on the new medication, at a much lower starting dose, on friday. In the meantime, we continue to battle the itch with Benadryl.

And for tonight, tonight I see my sister! She is moving out of her appartment this weekend and I really am big on closure. I feel the need to hang out together in her appartment one last time, help with some left-over packing (I'm into throwing things out if she needs a hand with that!), give some emotional support over the whole thing of moving and some much needed sister bonding time. I'm looking forward to seeing my lovely sister tonight!

Back to our second home, Emerg.

No, there wasn't another seizure. This time, Shane has a rash that has developed over his body (ankles, knees, chest, back, arms, hands). He had little patches of it that would come and go since he started on dilantin, but today it went all over. We were at St.B to get his blood drawn to see what his levels are, so we went up to my ward to do some schedule stuff and thought we'd ask a doc if I ran into one. One of the really nice doctors on our ward was around so I asked him his opinion, and the nearby med student. That is one great benefit of working in a hospital! Off we went to Emerg, just to chat with the triage nurse....NOT planning on waiting or talking to a doctor down there. Well, we ended up waiting anyways, as advised, but not nearly as long this time! Only 2 and a half hours in Emerg instead of 5-6! That was nice!

The doctor is having Shane stop his dilantin all together. The rash supposedly looks like a classic drug allergy rash. He is going to have nothing onboard until friday when he starts a new anti-convulsant. One warning is that being off the dilantin so abruptly, could potentially precipitate seizures. So, I will be watching Shane closely until we are steady on the next med.
He's also super itchy...so we are going to be friendly with Benadryl!

We feel a little deflated. We had plans to go camping with friends (Johan and Corrie) this weekend. Now we have to cancel them because being off the meds, not knowing what will happen in the next few days, starting a new med, not knowing how Shane will react to the next one and being 3 hours away in the wilderness is not a great idea. But, we are bummed. It sort of feels like being back at square 1. I'm glad he's not on the dilantin though...I didn't like that stuff! Today Shane is finally having less of a stutter and an easier time talking. That is a real blessing!

We'll keep you all posted. Please pray that there are no other seizures regardless of being on or off the meds. Pray that this rash and itchiness go away quickly and there are no issues with starting the next medication. And lastly, pray for our bummed emotions. Shane has been such a great sport, but he and I are both feeling tired of all this already. Deflated, is a good word for it.

The fun of family....

This morning, Shane and I had the pleasure of accompanying Shane's grandpa to the doctor's. He is quite a hoot! He asked me to come into the office with him. I found that quite the compliment! When the doctor entered the room, he explained that he brought along his own private nurse! How funny!

We had a nice morning/afternoon together in Steinbach, on the drive to and fro and a nice hearty meal at MJ's on Main Street in Steinbach (mmmm...good Mennonite home-cooked food). It was a good way to spend part of our day!

We also had Shane's sisters over for the night. We haven't had them over here for a sleepover since we've been married. It was nice! We rented Ice Princess...all you may be groaning, but it is such a cute movie! I had inspirations to become a figure skater after watching!

As for this evening, prayer is on. We are going to be praying here at our place again, since we are in town after all! So, we'll see whoever shows up and start up the prayer at 7pm! See you then!

I would do it again!

We had a nice little camping trip to Birds Hill this weekend. There were some minor complications, but generally a nice time. We bought a Coleman stove/grill before we left, and borrowed a tent and a dining tent. We managed to figure out how to set it all up without too much trouble. It was that dining tent that was almost abandoned! Hee hee, Kendra warned me about it! I wanted to set it up, Shane thought we should forget about it. But, we managed not too badly and it was really handy to have! I think we'll eventually get our own!

As for the beautiful stove/grill, I was so proud to have made the best pancakes yet! I made them better on the stove camping than in my own kitchen! Strange! And Shane made some great hamburgers on there. It is quite a handy contraption!

The beach was fun too! We were worried yesterday about the called-for thunderstorms, but we ended up being dry all day! And we had the company of my dad and sister in the afternoon and evening. That was nice! I also got a great sunburn, despite applying sunscreen with 30 spf! Yikes, no matter what I usually get one! Though, I think this sunburn started over breakfast at our campsite, before I applied the dose of sunscreen!

So, for the minor complications.....we got to our campsite about 5:10pm on friday. There were dogs in a tent trailer in a nearby site. They barked for hours, all alone in there. The warden and patrol people were told multiple times and finally put a tarp over the side that was facing other sites which was making the dogs squirrely! The owners finally came home about 11:00pm and were out of the park the next morning.
The next bit of excitement was the noise factor all night! There were some young adult women who were pretty noisey and had too much to drink. Well, while one of the best friend was out cold in the bathroom...and let me tell you, those floors are nasty!, the other was participating in "activities" for all the nearby campsites to overhear. Nasty!!!! We sure did NOT appreciate that! How do you explain those noises to your children in the middle of the night? (as our neighbor put it)

So, as if a team in The Amazing Race, we decided at 10:45pm last night, right after my dad and sister left, that we would pack up and head home! Sounds crazy, but hey! So, we took down our site in the darkness, with a little help from two flashlights. That dining tent was pretty crazy to take down in the dark...it looks like an octupus upside down! We did it in good timing, and pretty quietly. We were still in the habit of whispering when we were in our car driving home at midnight. We unloaded the car here at home and still had to shower from the day at the beach and all the product (sunscreen and misquito spray) that we had caked on our skin. So, we finally went to sleep at 2:30am!!! And didn't awake until 2:00pm this afternoon! Whew! Talk about adventures!

Look for upcoming pictures of our time in the "wilderness" (when we figure out how to post them)!

Hello wilderness...we'll maybe not wilderness....hello provincial park

So, Shane and I are going to attempt our first adventure camping together this weekend! It should be very interesting and hopefully a ton of fun! Shane used to be a scout as a boy, so he remembers camping/canoe trips. I have gone camping, in a tent trailer, a few summers as a kid, but not a whole lot and many years ago. It feels like I'm doing this for the first time! I don't know what to pack or how to camp really! And, we're borrowing a tent. I sure don't know if I can set that thing up! (good thing Shane's around!)

So, I'm definitely bringing the camera, because I think it will be quite the memory making experience for us as a couple! Hopefully lots of laughs, good quality time together and few misquito bites! Here's to hoping! I was too excited to sleep in too long this morning. I want to get going!!!

I'M DONE!!!!!!!!!

Today was my last day of my senior practicum! My last day wearing my student nurse nametag!!! I will never have to sign my student nurse initials again! Wow! That will be a tough adjustment, as it is second nature to sign UMSNIV (university of manitoba, student nurse, fourth year). I've even caught myself signing it on my VISA receipt recently! Silly, eh? And, from now on when I introduce myself I don't have to include "student" in the title.

I had a fabulous evaluation and got great feedback from my preceptors and faculty advisor! Yippee! That is a great way to end things! And to know that my preceptors look forward to working with me as a co-worker is a really good thing!

I'm off to Olive Garden to have a spontaneous celebration dinner with my hubbie, mother and perhaps a sister and a friend! Yippeeee!!!!

Bummed...bummed...bummed.....

We are NOT taking our preplanned trip to Kansas City on thursday. I am very disappointed and am feeling a little bummed about it, and the next few weeks, today.

We went to Shane's family doctor today. The word is that he will not have his licence for a minimum of 1 year. As well, he will probably be on the medication for the year as well. I asked when he could be weaned off of it. The doctor advised that we should not do that until he has been given his licence back and the seizures are well managed, and then do it slowly, through the doctor. Also, blood work every 2 weeks for the first little while and doctor's visits will be tricky as Shane will need a driver to each appointment. So, I really pray that his work is understanding about the time he'll need off to do these things and I pray that I have the right days off. Also, my question is, how do we get Shane to work every day for an entire year?

All of this also means that we will not be covered by insurance until Shane is on a stable dose, with no other seizures, for at least 6 months. This means no Kansas City this week, no One Thing conference in December, etc. It really feels as though one big door as been shut. The fact that Shane really can't leave the country until at least January, unless we want to risk paying an arm and a leg, really feels limiting. Guess we aren't leaving anytime soon......not that it was a plan to, but it was at least an option a week ago.

I'm tired of having a good attitude at this moment. I'm bummed and I think this sucks. We are feeling pretty good otherwise. We are both feeling quite peaceful admist the circumstances and I feel the underlying soverignty of God in our lives. He is good, always has been, always will be.

Holidays begin....

Due to the craziness of the last week or so and the effect it has had both physically and emotionally on us, Shane decided to start his holidays today, instead of waiting until thursday like originally planned. He really is wasted and needs to rest. I don't think he would be functioning all that great if he worked the next 3 days.

We have been sleeping the morning away. I took him to work this morning, and went back home. He called me half an hour later to come pick him up. He wanted to run the idea of starting his holidays today by his boss, without me waiting in the parking lot. Since we've been home, we've slept. I felt so heavy, like I couldn't even move I was so exhausted. That is a bizarre feeling. I don't like it, because I'm not as alert as I'd like to be at this time.

We have a bunch of things to do which his being home will come in handy. We have to work out the insurance stuff from the break-in of the car, have an appointment with MPI to see if there was any damage, go to Shane's doctor tomorrow, fill his perscription for the dilantin, etc. Lots to do, and no motivation to do it while feeling so tired.

I scheduled a 90 minute massage for this afternoon last month. I wanted to treat myself as a present for being done my senior practicum (well, one more shift left). My benefits through the University cover a few a year. Now that Shane is home today, I'm a little nervous about going and leaving him here. I thought he may come and sit in the waiting room, but that is boring and I don't want him to have to do that. But, I really don't want to cancel it either. I could really use it at this point. I just had a thought though. Maybe I will reduce the time to 1 hour....I'm more comfortable leaving him for 1 hour than 1 and a half.....I think that is because his seizure and sleeping times have been 1 and a half to 2 hours this past week. I guess that's my internal logic.

So, I'll figure it out in the next few minutes and then bring the cell phone with me so that I can check up on him. Besides I'm only 5 minutes away. Yikes, these kind of thoughts and decisions about daily life and how it can suddenly get more complicated, suck.

Another day in emerg.....

The day began like any other. Up before Shane, get ready and off to work while he is still resting in bed. Today I was a little sleepier and a little envious of his extra sleeping time.
The day on labor and delivery began, excitement off the bat. Bad fetal heart rate tracings, forceps delivery, etc. Then it got slow....
So, at lunch I called my Shaner, knowing that he would be out of church by then. This is when I found out the bad news.

This morning Shane awoke to a feeling of thirst. So, he decided to refill his glass of water in the kitchen before getting back to sleep. It was 7:06am.
He awoke, laying down on his tummy in the entrance of our appartment, which is on the way to the kitchen, around 8:40am. An hour and a half later. His cup that he had been carrying, was lying nearby and the small amount of water that was in it was spilled on nearby stuff and the wall. Tired and all, Shane went to church wanting some prayer and failing to alert others of his morning events (except his dad, who's a great secret keeper).

I, feeling a little rattled emotionally, consulted the nurses on my ward and one of the doctors. They were all such a support and gave me some nice, sound medical advise. 4 seizures in 6 days? Get him into emergency.

So, after 5-6 hours in emergency again today, an EKG, more bloodwork, a WHOLE LOT of waiting and some IV Dilantin (anti-convulsant medication), we are back at home. Shane's feeling pretty drowsy and dizzy with some slurred speech and blurred vision at present. I think that was quite the dose that he got!

We need your continued prayers! We want to hear the Lord on this one.

Do we look like a target??????

To add to all the drama lately, which has mostly been negative, Shane called to tell me our car was broken into during the night. This has never happened to us. I'm insulted.
The trunk was open and the drivers side door was unlocked when he went down this morning. I went to check it all out, make sure the car was ok and take pictures. Somehow they managed to get in, without leaving a mark on the outside of the car.

Our cds are gone. Bless the ones that now own a bunch of teaching tapes! Shane's precious sunglasses are gone. Shane's golf clubs are gone. The golf clubs are the big thing.

Another rotten thing is that the golf clubs might be covered by house insurance as opposed to autopac (so says the policeman that Shane talked to), which means our deductable is $1000. Something that we just can't afford.

I don't know what is going on these days! The more that happens, the more it feels like these are strategic negative things and not just happening by chance. Attack? I don't know what is going on!

When Shane called back from talking with the police, his first words were, "No Kansas City" because of the expense that this might cause us. Oh no, I say! We aren't giving up like that! I could see how Satan may be trying pretty hard this week to stop us from going...with the events of Shane's drivers being taken away, having some medical issues to think about while in another country, someone trying to wreck our car, the addition of a huge expense that we can't really afford, and us both feeling sick.

But, we will keep on fighting. We will still go to Kansas City. We want all that God has for us. In this time, we feel like going to KC for those 10 days is part of the puzzle piece of our journey at this point. I don't want anything of darkness to thwart the plans that God has for us. I also want to be wise. Help Lord!

Groan, Moan and Clutch your Stomach......

I feel crappy. I've made close acquaintance with the bathroom this past night with the effects of a very upset stomach. It came upon me in the last hour or two of work last night. And has really flared up over night. To go along with that, my throat is on fire!

So, after waking up practically hourly, I decided at 4:30am that a warm bath, some awake time and a cup of tea might help this sicko. And, I did it. I called in sick for the first time. I hate to do this, but I don't want to spend the whole day in the bathroom at the hospital! It is sucky to even use public washrooms, never mind if you need it for an extended period of time! It actually worked out quite well, because when I called in I found out the nurse that I was supposed to be with is also sick today.

So, today I will rest. Physically, nursing my sore throat and upset stomach. Getting some extra sleep. And emotionally rest up from the past few days. I need some R & R, some good Bible reading time and a day on the couch.

Ahhhh....I'm going to go and inform my faculty advisor of my state and finish my tea. Nite, nite.

Good news today on another note......

I got a .7 term on LDRP today! That means I work 7 days out of a two week period generally (full time is 10 days). I'm working 8 hour day and night shifts, which also means that I get every evening off with my husband! And now that it is a real nursing position, I get every other weekend off! Also, just for clarity, LDRP is the labor, delivery, recovery, postpartum ward...so I get both labor and delivery and postpartum experience. That part is good. That is the ward that I started my practicum on in May. Now I'm on Labor and Delivery, the high risk side. I hope to be able to work there at some point (sooner than later) because it is really great experience for a new grad! I'm really enjoying all the action....even though I do support the philosophy of LDRP which supports less interventions and more natural ways of laboring and delivering.

The only other part is that it is a term. It starts the day after I write my RN national exam....about August 11 I think and goes until October sometime. It isn't very long, but it gets my foot in the door! Hopefully I land another term or a permanent position in that time! I'm very happy to have a job waiting for me! And I'm not even done my senior practicum yet! Thank-you Lord!

Leaving for work.....makes me a teeny bit nervous!

I'm leaving for work within the next 15 minutes. Shane will not be up yet. I'm a little nervous to leave him.....
I'll call when I get to work to make sure things are fine, and I'll say a prayer of protection over him and peace over me.
He's back to work today.
That's it for now....must run!

Update on the drama of yesterday....

Thanks so much for your prayers everyone and all the supportive comments! We really appreciate the support! Things are getting kinda back to normal. I was a little apprehensive about sleeping last night and awoke to check on Shane numerous times and check that he was still and breathing.
We ended up making a bed on the living room floor because it is cooler out in the living room with the air conditioner. I actually welcomed the idea of not sleeping in our room. It was just freaky for me. I don't want to be bothered by fear or worry, but it just felt weird to sleep in our room last night with some flashbacks of how I woke up that morning. I feel the need to vaccuum in that room today....get rid of anything that could be in there. I know it sounds strange.

Otherwise, the situation went as smoothly as I could have hoped for. I wanted to cry last morning when I woke up with Shane in that state. But I clicked into nurse mode and was pretty calm, but a little paniced. Because of the need to remain rationale, I didn't cry at the time and so I actually haven't shed a tear yet. Maybe I will at some point just to release any kind of feelings that need to be let out through tears.

It was very helpful to know the lingo of what the peramedics were saying. It allowed me to know that his vital signs, blood sugar, etc were ok. Though I think his pulse was pretty elevated.

We went for some food with his parents, my mom and sister after we left the hospital yesterday afternoon. Then we came home to return some calls and give some updates and headed to bed. We were both really exhausted and needed a nap. So, we slept for 2 hours and spent the rest of the evening relaxing. Popsicles, a cute movie and my sister were the best medicine!

Just continue to pray for answers, light into the spiritual and physical side of things, that seizures never happen again, and that fear and anxiety wouldn't have any room in our hearts or home. Thanks again for all the support! It is SOOO appreciated!

Prayer request and update....

I woke up this morning to Shane having a seizure on the floor beside my bed. I called 911 who responded within about 10 minutes. In the meantime, I waited, talking to Shane, calling out to Jesus and turning Shane on his side and making sure he was breathing. In the time between the call to 911 and their arrival, he had another seizure that lasted less than 1 minute. I had about 7 uniformed men in our tiny little bedroom. Good thing I managed to think clearly and get some clothes on before they arrived!
We were brought to the St.Boniface Emergency by ambulance. Shane was only slightly responsive for a good hour. He finally said a word to me about an hour or so after I had found him on our floor.
Shane had blood work done, a physical assessment and a CT scan this morning/afternoon. All were normal. He is very sleepy now and has the battle wounds of burst blood vessels around his eyes, but otherwise doing well. We are home now and I'm just going to spend the next day or two observing him, providing that natural nursing care and loving my husband that is alive today! Thank-you Jesus for no brain damage and that my hubbie is alive!
Thanks to all who were praying and please continue to do so. Pray that this never happens again.
God bless. I'm off to tuck my buddy into bed...more updates later.

Lots to say, not a lot of time to say it.....

-great day at the hospital...slow, but had an incredible couple to work with, they gave me positive feedback like crazy! The husband even pulled my preceptor aside and ranted about a list of positive things he had to say about me! And when someone rants about your communication skills and people skills, that is a HUGE compliment!

-I enjoyed the warm weather yesterday at Birds Hill Beach with my hubbie! It was SO nice to have a weekend day with him! It has felt like a long time since I've seen Shane for a whole day!

-Only 6 more shifts as a student nurse! Yikes! I have had an incredible experience! I love this area of nursing! And I almost had a delivery on my own the other day! One more push and I would have been delivering that baby on my own! I sure used good judgement at the perfect timing when I called for the doctor and another nurse to help me out with the delivery!

-Actually went out socially on friday night...and way past my bedtime! Shane and I met Christina, Steph, Roman (Christina's bro) and Stephan (Christina's bro) at the Forks for yummy drinks! It was nice to be out socially and see people that I enjoy!

-A week from thursday Shane and I leave for our 10-day trip to KC!!! I'm so looking forward to it! I hope to receive more and more direction with the next stage of our lives! Bring it on, Lord! And I'm pumped to visit Joel and Joyska!

Lots of good stuff........mmmmm.......speaking of good stuff...I think my bed and Bible are calling!

A nice, slow day at the hospital...

I had a nice 12 hour shift and it was good to come home without sore feet! I spent most of my day sitting with a very sweet patient, in the dark (as much as we could get the room dark during the day) because of a severe headache, and working mostly on my own! That is the part that really felt good! I always had a resource person to ask questions to, but I had my patient to myself for practically the whole day! The charge nurse said that since I'm done in 2 weeks I may as well get my initiation...or something to that effect. They acknowledged the "promotion" I had with more independence today. Yippee!

And yes, 9 more shifts until I am finished my senior practicum! Isn't that incredible?! It has really gone by quite fast! I'm excited..and a little nervous...to go and do this L & D nursing thing as a real nurse! I keep telling my patients' something like that lately....that "_ more shifts and I'm a real nurse!". Hee hee!

Another good thing about today is that I talked to my unit manager. She said that she is off on holidays for 3 weeks starting next week so there won't be any postings during that time. To me that pretty much means that while I'm in Kansas City at the end of the month I won't be missing out on potential positions! She also said that as soon as I get my grad status in the mail, which will probably be within the week or so after we return from KC, while I'm cramming for my RN exam, I should call her and she will hire me as a casual staff right away! So, I can pretty much start right away as long as there are shifts available! And they seem to be short a lot these summer days!

So, Lord, would you give me favor and provide a position for me! And thanks that I get a holiday in between!

You every feel slimey????

You know the feeling you get after being with someone that is constantly negative? I've had a rough week with that! I had a nurse over the weekend that was so negative I wanted to wear ear plugs and puke at times. I just end up feeling bummed and slimed. I also saw a friend who is often very negative and it is tough to sit through our time together sometimes.

Boy, I sure don't want to make people feel slimey. I want people to feel encouraged when they are around me. I want to speak into my friends' and family's lives in a positive way.

I guess being around those kind of people reminds me to watch my own attitude and the way I effect those around me. Jesus, make me more like you and please be my shield around slimey people.

I'm into learning how to soak.

I am feeling drawn into a place of soaking with my Jesus. I need to make space for myself to just rest in His presence and get to know Him in a new way. I am really enjoying this thing of prayer...but I don't want to find myself always talking and not resting and listening.

So, I need to start to put on a cd and lie there. Let myself rest in His presence. Let Him speak to my soul and revive me. I felt that presence and nearness all day.

I had a day off today. Today and tomorrow are my weekend (I worked all weekend). It is actually really nice to have my days off in the middle of the week because I actually get to spend them resting at home. When my days off are on the weekend, I tend to fill them with a lot of fun things. But it isn't necessarily resting.

So, I've enjoyed some time in the Word today. I've enjoyed putting on worship music and going for it in my kitchen as I make supper. I've enjoyed dancing His peace over my bedroom. I've enjoyed talking with my Friend. This is such intimate time and I love the contentment that comes with it. I don't want the end of the day at home to come. I've really enjoyed the rest and presence of my Friend. I know that He is always with me...I've just loved our time together today and don't want it to end.