The weekend is here and that is a reason to celebrate! My last two and a half weeks of school have been incredibly intense! I forgot the craziness and stressful days of school in the excitement to get back and focussed! There is just far too much to do!

I think that I'm just get really picky and trying to do everything by the book. Other years I didn't do 75% of my readings, because there is just too many, and still aced things. Well, strangely, this year I have this expectation on me to do all the million readings! I don't know if this will work out for me......and frankly, I don't know if I really have to force this on myself! I'm going to keep trying, but try to stop stressing!

My mental health rotation is half over! I'm enjoying it, but there is just something about clinical (eg. being graded, always people watching you, not knowing what you are doing, in a brand-new workplace but expected to work as though you've been there for 30 years! ect.) that stressed me out. The countdown is on from the moment you begin, even if you really enjoy it! It is just the way we student nurses are programmed....or at least I am!

My patients have been great and I'm had a really interesting time on forensics! I thought it would be really scarey, but I'm not scared to be there after all! I was talking to my dad on the phone last night and explaining my rotation. He assumed that the patients would be locked up because some of them are in the hospital presently instead of jail. Well, that is not the case. They all walk around like regular patients on the ward, they just don't get to leave. I guess it is a little strange to sit and walk with those that have murdered. But it is eye-opening. It is teaching me something about grace....because whether they are deemed NCR (not criminally responsible) or guilty, they cannot take back what they have done. That comes with a lot of guilt after the fact. I don't know how I would cope after my thinking cleared and I realized that I had killed someone. How awful!

On a totally different note, today I get to see my mom! I miss her a lot lately! I got to see her quite a bit during the month I was off work because of my back. Now, with school being so busy, I feel like I only go to school/hospital, read at home and sleep. It is working out for me though, because I can see the finish line! So, my mom is picking me up and I'm going home with her. I'm going to have to write a little paper there this afternoon when she's gone on another run (bringing foster kids to Winnipeg for their visits). Then Shane and I are going to a fondue with two other couples from his workplace. I'm excited about the food, but hope that we can fun too since I don't really have any relationship with the others there! I told Shane we should try it out and if we don't enjoy the company, we don't have to do it again! Hee hee!

So, off I go to shower and get my stuff together! Have a nice saturday all! I think it will be beautiful!

My first day of my last year of school!

I'm remembering many first days and the excitement I had of running to catch the bus and the traditional first day of a new year picture holding up the grade you were in on your fingers in front of the fireplace. I've always loved the first day of school....except grade 12 because I had only arrived home from a trip the night before and wasn't in the mindset yet!

I'm a little sad that today is my last first day of school! I love school and so cheers to a great last year! It was a short little day of orientation. Only 9-11am and I got to find out where my clinical placements are and who my CEFs (Clinical Education Facilitators) are.

Thankfully, I did not get September as my month off! I got November!!! Yippeeee! That means I only have school 2 days a week after October!!! That rocks! Also, my back should be doing pretty great by November and I hope to be able to work in November and December! We definitely will be able to use the money!

I start my mental health rotation on tuesday already!!! I have a CEF who is tag-teaming it up with another one. They haven't done it before.....here we go! Well, I had one CEF who had never done it before and we thought she would be a breeze because she was new at it! Well, she was great until we got our final marks the last time we saw her and she was incredibly stingy on the A's! We were all very ticked because she was actually a really tough marker and we didn't think that was fair!

So, anyways, my mental health rotation is at HSC. I wanted St.B because it is closer to bus to at 6 or 7 in the morning!!! But, it should be good anyways! It is only 4 weeks so I can make it! I'm not exactly sure where I'll be though. I could be on a ward alone because some of the wards take only 1 student nurse, others take a few more. I'll find out on tuesday. But I heard them say there is a forensic ward, an intense care ward and a child/adolescent outpatient ward and those sounded pretty interesting to me! Especially the child one.

As for palliative...I AM EXCITED!!! I got my first choice, Cancer Care MB at St.B. The thing that I didn't know when signing myself up for this one is that you don't have a clinical group! You are on your own! So, it is really like a senior practicum. See, normally, you have a group of students (5-6) on your ward with one CEF. Well, in my case, I am the lone student with a preceptor (a nurse that works there to teach you). No CEF to help me out and no other student nurses for moral support! Oh well! I'm a big girl and I'm excited about the challenge! It's going to be great!
Only, I have to start on my birthday!

The big pat on the back is that the course leader explained when reading out the lists in front of all the students and CEFs this morning, that you have to be a very strong student to get one of these placements and you pretty much have to be at the top of the class!!! I'm very impressed and very honored!

Well, unfortunately after 2 hours at school, my back is sorer than usual! Good thing I have physio this afternoon!

I'm flying a little high at the moment! Much more excitement and activity today than I've had in the last month!

Well, two more days to go before hitting the books! I'm actually planning on fully enjoying two more relaxing days until I get really busy again. I'm planning on tackling what is left on my to-do list around the house tomorrow...like a mad woman. I want it to be spick and span before school starts on thursday. I'm also presently on the internet looking up recipes. I've planned a schedule of suppers for the next two weeks. I'm thinking that pre-planning will greatly accomodate our soon-to-be busier lifestyle. With Shane working until 5pm and me at the hospital or in school all day, I won't have the luxury of starting supper in the afternoon like I have been doing. So, by preplanning, it will leave out the annoying step of deciding what to make, I will already have everything bought and in the house, and I can just get to it! Let's see how this works!

Our september long weekend was nice! We were going to go camping originally with our friends, Nat and Lance. Seeing as the weather has been quite crummy and I'm already usually a cold person, never mind if I'm freezing my butt off in a tent in the rain.......we decided to have a sleepover at their house instead. We ordered pizza, rented a movie, played games...yes, Shane and I actually played games. For those of you who don't know us as well, playing games is where we don't get along! That is fighting territory! Anyways, we slept over, had yummy crepes for breakie and relaxed for the morning and part of the afternoon. It was nice!

We had a wedding to go to on sunday...my uncle finally married his girlfriend! It was just a small, backyard wedding and the reception was pay-your-own-way at one of their favorite restaurants. It was nice!....I'm leaving it at that because I don't want to get into it.

I'm totally pumped to be getting back to school! Yippeeee!!! I'll update more another time!

Happy September to you all! I'm really excited to be getting started with a new university year! Yippee! Something to do again!

University begins next thursday! It is my last year of nursing which is bittersweet for me. I love returning to school each year. When Shane starts to go back each fall and I'm just working like normal, I'm going to be jealous! I hope that this year is a good one. I think that it will be. I have a pretty good school schedule and so far, my course leader for clinical has been pretty flexible.

See, we have two clinicals this semester (palliative and mental health) and so each take a month and you get the third month off! That is a sweet deal! See, I don't want September off because I've had all of August off and I'm ready to do something! I'm motivated so I want to get into it! Unfortunately my doc requested that I ask that I don't do my palliative rotation in September because of my healing back. Mental health would be fine because it doesn't require a lot of actual activity (mostly pyschosocial stuff). I thought that by requesting not doing palliative in September, she would probably give me september off.......Well, she emailed me and asked if I would like that or get into mental health in september. I told her how I felt and she said whatever my preference was, she would try to accommodate it! So, hopefully I'm doing mental health as of September 14!!!

Otherwise, this week has been pretty good! We are really enjoying the new routine with Shane's job. We get to have supper with one another each evening, unless something else is planned. We have free evenings together. My husband is a lot happier when he comes home and is actually enjoying his day. I pray that it only gets better!

I've spent each day this week at home except for physio and doctor's appointments. Today, I'm starting to get a little antsy. They are calling for a beautiful day (weather-wise) and I'd like to be out doing something. I've been ok at home this week because I've been absorbed in a book...but yesterday I felt yucky by the afternoon because I just read too much!

So, today I think I will bake and cook. I'm going to make something in the slow cooker and apple crisp! It should be yummy!

What are you guys doing for the long weekend?

So my journey on the learning road to contentment continues.......

Some days I find are peaceful, relaxed and the contentment-thing is happening! Others aren't so good. Monday was one of those peaceful days. I spent the entire day at home and in the evening Shane and I went out for 2-3 hours to visit his family and pick up a few groceries. But I was in the appartment, mostly alone, for almost 24 hours. That may seem like nothing to some stay-at-home moms. But, for a just-married, usually quite busy girl of 21, it has been a challenge, but a good one. I've been praying that God would teach me more about contentment. Oh the peace and contentment was flowing on monday. It is such a conscious effort on one hand. I find that if I don't think about it, I can get so sidetracked and just go about a regular day. If I consciously think about these topics and pray about them at times throughout the day, things go a lot better. But the deal is that I can't make these good feelings happen. Praying and thinking helps. Reading my Bible helps. Quiet time and relaxing helps. But it is God who gives me the peace that I long for. Nothing else can really make it happen. That is good for the people who don't have the time or space for the quiet or relaxing times. Have hope! God is bigger than our circumstances!
So, the on one hand it seems to be a conscious effort and on the other, it has absolutely nothing to do with what I do, only God.

So, yesterday was the other kind of day. Little things were bugging me and on my mind (eg. concern over whether or not my massage today would be covered by my benefits or not, a little nervous about finances, etc). They weren't big events of the day, just little thoughts that concerned me and that I allowed to fester in my brain and heart without me realizing. So, by early evening I was unhappy. I think the disturbing show that was on Oprah aided in my mood....but that is besides the point. I haven't felt cranky like that in a long time. It is like an itch deep in your heart that you just can't scratch. Boy, I hate those times. Thankfully, I hung out with my sister, who is so understanding about those rare cranky days and we ended up having a nice evening together. I'd say a good friend, a chick flick and food often helps the mood! ......and I think that Jesus is aware of that! Hee hee!

Well, today was a better day. I had physio, which I actually enjoy. I scrubbed down my kitchen and focussed on washing my oven and organizing my cupboards. See I have a list of what I want to get done before school starts. There are 56 items on the list....so if I want to get them done, I have to do 3-4 per day. At least that gives me something to do. Now that my back is getting better and I feel less pain, physio says to test it a little. Within reason of course! But, give my back some activity, rest and see how it feels. So, I'm going to try to do more, but rest a whole lot in between! We'll see how that goes!

I had a great massage though this afternoon and that is enough to make anyone smile! Ooooo those hip muscles get so tight! Anyways, I should go. I'm going to my aunt and uncle's for supper tonight...and my mom, sister and grandma will be there! It is going to be good.....and I'm excited to eat!!!

Have a great evening! (wheww.....what a long blog!)

My mom and the cute little foster brothers just left my place. We had ourselves a little visit this morning and some pancakes! What cuties! I love getting my baby fix!

Sunday I threw together a surprise supper at Applebee's with friends to celebrate Shane's birthday! Somehow, no matter how great I keep the secret, he always finds out! Only once have I truly surprised him. I showed up in B.C. for a weekend about 2 years ago next month...and he totally didn't know that I was coming. That moment was priceless! He was sitting on the couch in his aunt's house in North Vancouver and I walked in the living room! He was speechless for a short time! That was worth the short amount I was there...just for that suprise!
So, anyways, I don't know how he figure Sunday's surprise out, but of course he did, even though no one gave it away! But it was very fun nonetheless! 14 of us were there for good food (half price appetizers every sunday) and good friends!

I'm pretty sleepy today. I think Shane and I will have to have a nap when he comes home in the afternoon. He's working his last split shift tonight 9-1 and then 5-9pm. I enjoy spending the afternoon with him on those days, but it kinda sucks when he has to go back! Well, I am spending the evening with my sis so I won't complain! I haven't see her and hung out just the two of us in a week and a half already! Too long!

Have a great day!

What a nice saturday morning! I just had a friend join me at my place for brunch and chatting! That was nice! I love having people over and feeding them....it feels like Jesus-times when people invited people over, dined together and built community. I love spending meals at either our home or at our friends' homes. I've actually come to prefer that over going to a restaurant!

Shane and I had a really nice time celebrating his birthday on thursday. We relaxed at home, slept in, had brunch, played golf on playstation (since I couldn't take him actual golfing which was originally the plan before the back injury), etc. I ended up falling asleep for an hour and a half! Opps! Well, Shane was on the computer so I lay down to put heat on my back and fell asleep! By the time I woke up, Shaner was definitely ready to do something!
So, though I wasn't sure if I should, we went mini golfing....in lieu of real golfing. I got two holes in one!! And we were tied by the last hole! I ended up losing but boy was that a close game! Then Shane and I went to Tony Roma's for dinner and saw the Bourne Supremacy! Fascinating movie! Those kind of movies always have me either motionless with intensity or jumping in my seat! I really enjoyed it! It was a fun birthday! I'm so glad that we had the whole day alone to celebrate it!

EXCITING NEWS IN THE FARROW HOUSEHOLD!!!! SHANE GOT A JOB!!!!!
The head office for Shane's company has offered him a job! He may even start as early as this coming wednesday! The hours rock....9-6 or 8-5 monday to friday! That means we get evenings and weekends together! That will be so nice! He gets to work with two of his friends so that makes working more fun! The bummer is the pay cut. I hope they can negotiate something that is a little more in the middle (from what they said yesterday and what he is presently making). Thanks Lord for providing so smoothly and that we don't even have to have a job hunting period...it just was handed to him! Thank-you!!

...wonder if any of you are bored in regards to friday night. I am without plans for the whole day and evening...except for sleeping in with Shane who only has to work at 1pm. So, for the rest of the day I am completely open. I do hate to spend friday nights alone with nothing to do...so if any of you are in the same boat...do call me if you know my number or leave a comment...though calling would be better!

I'll probably update the celebration of Shane's birthday tomorrow! We just got back home and I would like to just relax and sit with my husband!

good night!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY HUBBIE!!!!

My Shaner is 24 today and we are going to celebrate it today! We both get to spend the whole day together...Shane doesn't have to work! We slept in until 11am and spent the morning relaxing! It has been good!

Shaner isn't much into celebrating and making a big deal out of his birthday. Well, think again buster! We are celebrating you today! I'm going to try to think of special little things that I can do to make today special. Eg. play golf on playstation with Shaner (he loves it and loves when he can convince me to play...today I will offer), Shane gets to pick what we eat for our meals today, I didn't wake him up to say Happy Birthday nice and early like I wanted to because he requested before bed last night that I just let him sleep and when he's awake then say it. So, I waited until I saw him turn over, open his eyes and touch my leg that I knew he was awake!

Well, must go and continue celebrating! Adios!

mmmmm........(yawn and stretch)....You know that sucky feeling after you wake up from a nap?

I needed a rest, so I took a two hour nap. That is usually my standard nap time...maybe that is why I feel so funny when I get up. Or it is because I was awoken by some lady on the phone!

With all this time on my hands, I've asked the Lord to work on contentment in me. I tend to not actually be too bored, but I'm so concerned with scheduling myself so that I won't be bored that I get a little over-concern about the issue! It is pretty over-ambitious of me, but I was even thinking of re -reading my notes from last year so that I can refresh the area of my brain that knows about nursing-related information. I feel like I forget everything over the summer and go back knowing nothing. Not a good thing by 4th year. So, maybe I'll read up or something! If I can get myself to that point!

I just wanted to mention that the carrot cake turned out great! Especially the cream cheese icing, so I hope that tonight, Shane' s dad enjoys it! We are having him over for some stirfry and visiting! I'm looking forward to picking my Shaner up from work and having him home for the evening. He's worked the evening the last two days, and tonight he'll be home!!! Yipppeee!

And, TOMORROW IS MY SHANER'S BIRTHDAY!!! So, we get to hang out and celebrate all day! Hey, does anyone have ideas about how to celebrate when you are limited in your activity level? I have a possible plan, but I'd love some more options! Do leave comments!

So, here is the latest! I saw the doctor today and she has put me off work until the end of my position!!! Therefore, no more work for the summer! It is nice to be off for the month of August, but I can't really do much so it's not like grand holiday time! But, I really do appreciate the time off!

I was so concerned at the beginning of all this back injury stuff about how I would decide, what I would do, etc. I was pretty anxious about this. I'm so glad that God has made it bearable for me to live day-by-day in this situation. And, physio and my doctor have been awesome for giving me the recovery and healing time that I need! I thought that I would have to fight tooth and nail for my back and the smart moves to make, but they are making those decisions for me! I'm so thankful....it has made the burden so much lighter!

Next friday is Shane's last day of work and we are counting down! I'm really relieved and excited for him that he is finally finished! He spent 3 years this month at his job....that's quite a good amount of time! I haven't even been at a job that long!

I'm baking a carrot cake right now for a friend-supper date I have this evening! We have actually had quite a few of those recently. We are becoming quite the family household! A couple over for dinner on sunday, one of my friends over for supper yesterday and today I'm going to a friend's house for dinner...but tonight I don't have to cook, just bring the dessert! I hope it's yummy! I even made cream cheese icing!!!!!

ohhhh, and then tomorrow we are having Shane's dad over for supper!!! that is quite a lot of supper dates for one week! whew! (but oh so fun!)

Little exerpts from my dreams of the night....

-"Shane don't be mad at me...I ate most of the hamburger for tacos! Opps!"

-Went to church....in a small little place...but Nathan Rieger was there so it might have been Vineyard. I asked where Kendra and the kids were. I guess the kids were gone for the week (not sure where) and Kendra was in the house (on the same property) sleeping in!! She needed the rest!

- Building our house....I think that we made the roof over the front porch too low! And we were conversing over where we should put the mailbox on the front side of the house...it was a long, brown house

- We were in a big building with multiple elevators. I wanted to get to one specific room that I knew certain adults didn't want me in. 5th floor I believe. These rooms required long, metal keys (old school kind) to get in. I finally got to the right elevator but it just didn't want to move...or if I press the floor that I wanted, it wouldn't go there..it would come back down. I finally got in but had to leave pretty quickly because there was someone outside the door. I wanted to go back in later to clean up a game that I had sloppily put back in a box...my grandma was there. We began to prepare for a potluck, by seperating vegetables from fruits in a platter. My grandma was being so annoying and watching us like a hawk. I finally snapped on her and started yelling at her. It felt quite intense.

-this next dream took place in a small community...perhaps northern. There was a girl and a boy...well, young adults they were. I guess the boy actually liked the girl, but he was quite abusive. We were in a store of some kind. I became the girl..or I just had the view of the dream from her eyes. She had a grip on one of his legs because he kept trying to kick her in the face with the other one. Realistically you can't walk, and kick with only one leg free...but that is a dream for you. He never ended up kicking her in the face because she covered her face against the floor. Suddenly he was caring and nice. Her friend or sister said that she was going to stay at home and he said that she wanted to go to his brother-in-law's wedding (which was taking place in short order). She (the girl) still wanted to go to the wedding. So, she went out and came back with a vest made for her for the wedding. It was pretty nasty looking, different colors and patterns, made of wool. Her dad took the vest from her...and instead lying across her bed was a beautiful dress! It was too made of knitted wool, but a beautiful pattern with beautiful colors...I just remember a cranberry color. Over the knitted wool was a see-through chiffon-type material. I don't know what it is called. ...

.......then the phone rang and I woke up to run and answer it......(for real)

Well, big news!!!!

SHANE HANDED IN HIS 2 WEEKS NOTICE TODAY! HE IS FINISHED ON AUGUST 27!!!Strangely, we both feel a lot of peace and a huge release, regardless of the fact that he doesn't have another job lined up at this point. We are going on faith and trusting that God will provide and has a hand-picked job for Shane at this time in our lives.

At a time where I could be the most stressed, I'm feeling excited. I don't know what Worker's comp will do for me, I don't know if I'll go back to work before summer is over, Shane could be jobless by the end of the month, school starts in a matter of weeks, we need quite a bit of funds before september....and our lives feel a little up in the air right now, but it feels good. It actually feels like we're in the best spot yet in our short married life...besides when you are on a honeymoon in Mexico without a care in the world about reality. It is a place in which I'm excited about what God will provide and what direction He will guide us in. It feels good to not feel in control sometimes....though usually I do feel the opposite.

Please pray for all these areas...especially the provision of an incredible job for Shane, back healing for me, approval by Worker's Comp, and the finances we need. Just pray that we hear God. Thanks all!

Another day at physio......

A positive experience though, because another healthcare professional affirmed that I do indeed have a back with wounds. The physiotherapist was a fill-in because the one I saw last week is away for the week. She said that my ROM (range of motion) in the back is pretty crappy. I am using my whole back to do things (I guess to compensate for the hurt areas). I told her that I have the 11 shifts still to work, depending on if the doc sends me back or not when I see her next tuesday. The physiotherapist said she didn't want to plant any seeds in my head but she can't see me returning for the last 2 weeks! I hope that that is true! I want to rest and recover fully and not strain it again for the last 11 shifts before I go back to school!

Jesus, please give me and my claim favor with worker's comp! I pray that this month or whatever it ends up being is covered by worker's comp and we get the money! If they approve it, we get 90% of what I would have made! That's pretty good! It should cover some books and tuition like it was supposed to!

On another note, if anyone is free or bored, I have some time on my hands and with my hubbie working quite a bit, and quite a few evenings, I need to fill some time! Call me (if you know my number...) or leave a comment! I spent this afternoon with my mom and the babies...though I feel quite useless when I can't help carry all the heavy loads of cuteness! But I do hold them when I'm sitting (not standing or walking)! They are so cute!

Anyways, I'm chatting with my dad on msn so I'm going to go and do that and then pick up my cute hubbie in a bit from work!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BRO!!!! 16 TODAY AND A WONDERFUL GUY!!!

Lord, bless him and totally impact him at youth week this week! Send your Spirit, your power and your reality to the youth there! Bless the socks off them!

I'm getting pretty good at this more regular blogging thing lately!!! I'm proud of myself. Well, it is actually because now I have way more time on my hands.

I went to the doctor's today to reassess the back situation. I thought for sure she would be getting me back to work by friday.......wrong! And happy to be! My doc actually listened and though I was prepared for friday, she doesn't want me to go back for the rest of the week. She is going to reassess me again next tuesday and we'll go from there!!! That means that I only have a maximum of 11 shifts left...maybe. She felt my back and had quite the reaction. She said my muscle is as hard as a rock...I guess the injury was real! Especially if you can feel a huge clump of a muscle a week later! I'm so thankful that she listened to me and is taking good care of me!

I scared the poor husband though! I wanted to share the good news that I have a week off again...in person. So, on the way home, I stopped in at his work. I usually just spill whatever is on my mind in the first few sentences that I see the person. Well, I walked into the office and said, "you want to know what the doctor said?" and handed him the paper she wrote for my employer saying that she will reassess in a week and no work until then. My poor husband almost stopped breathing for a bit there. I'm supposed to get my depo shot in a week and thought I might get it today instead. Before they give the shot, they always do a pregnancy test each time. This is the first test that it would actually be a possibility...you know, now that we are married. Well, Shane thought that I got the shot and the pregnancy test done today. The poor guy's heart pounded for a bit when I handed him a paper without a verbal explanation! I've been such a paranoid girl with every new body change that has happened in the last 2 months! The doctor assured me though that we are on the most secure form of birth control if we don't want to get pregnant. Though....it is always on my mind that God can have other plans in store!! Ahhhhh! That reminds me that I have a short story to tell about what someone said at Rock Lake over the weekend! I'll leave that to the next blog because this is getting long!

Good afternoon!
Well, my mom and I just got blessed! We went out for a bite at Bosten Pizza. I wasn't going to get anything because of the uncertainty of the finances in the next few weeks...so I was just going to pick off my mom's salad and cheese toast. Well, she also ended up getting a dessert for us to share. The manager there remembered my mom and my little foster brother from the last time we had coffee there (a month or two ago). She just fell in love with little Hessai (pronounced Essay) and has a soft heart for the work that my mom does with foster kids. So, a few minutes ago when we went up to pay....the manager said that the lunch was on her!!! She said that since my mom does work that blesses, she deserves to be blessed! What an incredible woman and manager!!! That totally spoke to my mom and I! And it was sure nice to have had a free lunch! Bless Katie back Lord!!

Another good piece of news is that Worker's Comp approved me for physio! This means that I don't have to pay out of my pocket! Thanks Lord! I don't know if it means anything else is approved (eg. prescription, time away from work, etc.), but at least I can go to physio with the peace that I don't have to cover the costs!!!

I called work this morning and said I wouldn't be able to do my tuesday or wednesday shifts because I have a doctor's appointment tuesday and the only time I can get into physio this week is wednesday evening. Also, I don't want to attempt work without another assessment at physio....because it sounded like physio said not to go back until they give the go-ahead. So, today this day-by-day approach has been working out quite well. I have thursday off with Shane so the next possible day for me to work is only on friday....which would mean only 3 weeks of my term position left! Lord, give me wisdom day-by-day.

All you praying people out there! We could use some!!

I spent the weekend at Rock Lake and Shane joined me...and surprised me...yesterday evening! I got to spend the weekend with my sister and then when Shane came, he joined us in a lodge room! I haven't had a sleepover with both my husband and sister before! ....boy, if I wasn't a Christian, this could sound pretty wrong! Anyways, it was nice to be out at Rock Lake because I love it there, it is like home. And it was nice to get away from home and the thoughts of back pain and the question mark of work.

That brings me to the things that are heavily weighing on my mind. I have a doctor's appointment scheduled for tuesday, but it is super close to my shift. I am thinking that at this point before I see the physiotherapist again and the doctor, I don't think I'll work that tuesday shift. See if the doc says, "no...don't resume work yet", then my poor employer only has maybe an hour to find a replacement and I don't think that that is very fair on my part. So, I'll probably call my employer tomorrow, give the heads up and say it is a no-go for tuesday and we'll see about wednesday. I'm just not sure what to do about the next 4 weeks. I have only 4 weeks as of yesterday left of shifts. Shane and I really could use that money for tuition...we were counting on it. To stay sane, I am trying to take a day-by-day approach with my back and work. I just don't want to do more damage. Another concern is that if I don't go back to work for the summer now, I have probably shot my casual job for the rest of the year out the door. I can't really pick up much this semester, except the one month (not sure which one) that I have some clinical days off. I had peace and felt some rest from this issue out at the lake, but now that I'm home, I feel the stress of it. It feels like a big decision that I have to make on my own, because I don't feel like the doc or physio is going to make decisions that are for me and my health long-term. I think they are on the side of worker's comp and throwing me back to the wolves. I'm scared and I don't trust their advice!!!!!

On another note, Shane is having a really hard time at work. I can't remember if I blogged about this a few weeks ago, but it is getting to breaking point. Life is not supposed to be hated. God has plans and gifts for us to enjoy and be taught by. I'm not saying that as soon as a situation gets tough or uncomfortable, run. I'm saying that in this case, Shane has been a very faithful employee and it is time that he enjoy work again. He used to love it and he would say to me "the day I don't enjoy going to work anymore is the day I quit". Well, that day happened a long time ago. But, the financial pressures of paying for a wedding, supporting a family now and knowing that we will be a one-income family in 4 weeks...or sooner...is pressure enough to rethink an automatic quit. Well, this unhappiness is not what God intended. Shane has given this job a million chances to get better and for him to enjoy it again. And everything seems to be on a steady decline.

Life-giving. I was thinking about our situation when driving home late one night this week. I passed a sign that said Suds....an advertisement. I think it may have been for a job. I felt God say..."life-giving". He has given us a world FULL of opportunities and possibilities. I felt that he was saying, "why stay in a place that is taking so much life away when I have created so many other opportunities that are life-giving". I felt that we are limiting ourselves and God by staying in a place that is causing so much unhappiness just because of the money. Money is not worth our happiness......it gets a little complicated though when you need the money to pay the bills. But regardless, MONEY IS NOT WORTH OUR HAPPINESS!!!! God is our provider. I have the smallest amount of faith that I know of....it is so hard for me to believe that everything will be ok. Yet, God has proven this to me time and time again. Still, I find it so hard to trust.

Please keep us in prayer. Many things are up in the air...or could be and we need guidance and direction from the Lord. We need to hear very clearly from him regarding decisions and timing alike.

I have a sore back. I screwed it up at work yesterday morning. Transferring a resident onto the toilet, my back felt sudden and severe pain. Left work and went to the walk-in. Stupid walk-in doctor didn't even listen to my story and made me feel like I was making it all up. He gave me a prescription (I don't like taking meds so I'm tempted to skip that part but I'm trying not to) and referred me to physio. Again stupid doc told me to try and give my work shift tomorrow a try! Stupid! So today I went to physio. I have a soft tissue sprain on my lower back by my sacrum. It hurts a bit and mostly on the left side. I have some pain on lifting and bending. I just don't want to do any permanent damage. Physio said definitely don't go to work tomorrow! So, I'm not sure what the next few weeks will look like. I don't like injury, but I don't like work. I am afraid that my job is ruining my body for good. I can't see how this won't continue to happen until Sept. 4 which is my last day before going back to University. I'm afraid to go back to work.

But I don't have to go back until next tuesday at the earliest. I hope that I can enjoy this time off with a golden ticket to relax. I have been told no vaccuuming, scrubbing, gardening, lifting certain things, etc. I hope that I don't get bored! So, I must relax. I might go out to the lake this weekend. I was supposed to go to help out the staff by cleaning, but that's out the window. Maybe I'll go for some relaxation and good teaching and ministry....my hubbie works all weekend anyways. We'll see what happens.

Please pray for my back. Pray that it is not a permanent injury or the beginning of anything progressive or chronic! Back pain sucks! Also, please pray for wisdom...I don't want to damage my back for only 4 more weeks of work. It just isn't worth it. I'm feeling a little consumed with this issue right now.

I'm bored. There has been quite a routine these last few days. Work, nap, eat supper, go to bed early with some fun stuff in the evenings. Shane and I had date night on friday and yesterday night we had my sibs over for supper and then went out bowling. But as for this evening, I am a little antsy! I think Shane and I are going to walk to 7-11 for some 5 cent candies, but he is battling a headache on the couch right now.

Switching gears a bit, I have to brag about my hubbie and tell you all how impressed I am today! I got home from work to a nice smelling appartment. Shane cleaned and cleaned hard! He was dusting and saw my list of what I wanted to get cleaned in the appartment.....so, he did it! He actually was doing most if not all of it before he even saw the list...but, my baby ended up washing our floors, vacuuming the entire appartment, dusting, washing the windows, making the bed and cleaning the bathroom to perfection! I am SO impressed. I feel appreciated by the fact that he helps out too and that we don't have to assume that because I'm the female that I will do everything. I am a lucky girl because Shane doesn't think that way and helps out around the appartment! I really appreciate him and I feel loved when he helps!

Well, I hope that the evening has a spark of excitement for me or I might have to take drastic measures like doing the dishes (which I will do anyways) or going for a run! No, not exercise!!!! (though it is much needed!)
Take care!