There can't be a plan B
This coming January marks the 3 year mark for Shane and I in our journey as intercessory missionaries. This means Shane has worked from the 4 walls of our apartment for the last 34 months, thinning out the carpet on our floor from countless hours of pacing, praying, reading and studying. His hands may not get wounds or cuts from his occupation, as some do, but his knees and heart have the marks to prove his hard work.
Many people think we're crazy. Sometimes I'm tempted to believe the same.
In the 3 years of living out this lifestyle, we had a number of times where we thought, "We could have both worked for a salary that pays well and be way further ahead in the definition of success according to the world". We did the math one time and figured out if we had both worked the first year I was done nursing, we could have paid off all our debt with one of our income and lived off the other within the first year.
A few months later, God blew us away. Yes, we could have done the logical and ignored the call we heard Him call us to and worked off all that debt. But in the big picture of eternity, it was far more wise to obey the risky call that He gave to us. In the end, He had our debt covered anyways, and He knew that from the beginning! The generous giving of other lovers of God provided the incredible $25,000 to cover ALL of our debt last fall.
So, we just can't have a plan B. It is hard not to start thinking that way sometimes. "Well, if God doesn't actually provide for what He's called us to in plan A, let's make our own plan B. Plan B could be letting go of what He's called us to and doing what normal people do to make ends meet. Yes, let's keep that card in the back pocket, just in case we need to use it.".
No! We can't have a plan B. Plan A is following whatever He leads us in. Plan B is following whatever He leads us in. I want a big YES written across my heart that doesn't have fear, doubt and self-sufficiency attached to it. I am foolish to think that I could provide for myself better than God could. I'm not the source. He is the source.
God knows all my needs and all my wants. He cares about the little details. He knows our desires for a home and a family one day. He knows the exact dollar amount that we would need to do work in the prayer movement full-time as a family unit. He knows and He cares! Actually, it was His plan!
All this processing to say, I just want to say yes, again and again, over and over. No matter how bright or dark the next step looks. No matter who points fingers or laughs at us. No matter how foolish we look or what people think or say. No matter how many dollars are in our bank account or coming in through our supporters.
It doesn't matter in the end. My heart growing in love and saying yes to the safest Savior is what truly matters!