Could it be true?

"The more we fear to suffer, the more we need to do so" (Francois Fenelon)?

I've been realizing lately that I am fairly pleasure-seeking, which leads me to be fairly self-seeking. If life is tough, do whatever it takes to make it feel better. If things are uncomfortable, get away from the discomfort to a place that is more comfortable.

I was reading Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas this morning as my lovely sister was having her turn at voice lessons and really found myself identifying with the next chapter in the book. I don't feel these things specific to marriage but specific to the way I function in general in life.

I just don't like the hard stuff. I don't like those hard emotional days when I feel down. I don't like struggles. I don't like awkward moments (though I'm exceptional at being a part of them). I don't like working hard through things. I just want them to be easy. I want things to be comfortable. I want things to feel good.

Is that too much to ask?

Well, apparently, my desires are in the wrong place.

"Jesus promised us that everyone will be seasoned with fire, and every sacrifice will be seasoned with salt. The desire for ease, comfort and stress-free living is an indirect desire to remain an "unseasoned," immature Christian. Struggle makes us stronger; it builds us up and deepens our faith".

I sure don't want my desire to be to remain immature and sinful. I don't want to settle for and make my home in weakness and insecurity just because I hate the hard stuff. I don't want to give up where I could go, just for the sake of comfort.

But man, do I find it hard to stay still in the midst of the struggle. Everything within me wants to make it feel better. I just want to find a solution to ease the discomfort, even if it's not the best one...but the easiest and the fastest way to make things better.

"We have it so easy that we can begin to be lulled to sleep, thinking that life should be easy or that it will always be easy. Once it gets a little difficult, we tend to become consumed with trying to make our lives comfortable again. But by doing so we miss a great spiritual opportunity."

Sound familiar to you? It sure does to me, sadly!

I want to be steady in the Lord to be able to be still and know He is God in the midst of struggle, hard circumstances and conflict. I don't want to run away from whatever doesn't feel lovely. I want to grow in maturity. I want to embrace what God gives to me.

Yikes. Life isn't always easy!