Just a note.....

It is confirmed. Shane and I are going to Kansas City in October (actually over my birthday) to attend the OneThing Leadership Conference. As of today, our registration is officially confirmed and our place to stay is confirmed as well! Looks like we get another Kansas City trip on the horizon!

I went to physio today for my wrist. I did end up going to the doctor's this week, putting in a worker's comp claim and starting physio. The guy said that my muscles in my inner forearm are quite tight and if it wasn't addressed my wrist would be totally screwed in the next 10 years of my career, if it continues. So, I will do the stretches, ice and heat the sucker and do whatever else they advise. And I will keep on praying for physical healing! Because that will be the big thing in getting this wrist fixed! My wrist had a really good day today!

I'm back in the work mode as of tomorrow night. It will be a busy weekend with 3 twelve hour shifts and a family wedding on sunday. I'm crossing my fingers that saturday to sunday night is slow so that I can head home at 3:30am instead of 7:30am, and get a few more hours of sleep in before the festivities begin! I find it pretty doubtful, but that is my hope, which I already mentioned to my boss!

I'm off to bed!

Could you pray?

I need to go to work today. I have a very sore wrist since monday. It is difficult to wash my hair and dry myself after my shower. My wrist is being very particular on which movements hurt and I have woken up the last few mornings in pain. It is the first good morning I receive.

But I do need to work today and I don't want a sore wrist to hinder that. Could you pray?

HAPPY 26TH BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVORITE GUY!!!!!!!

Shaner, happy birthday! Enjoy the day! I pray that you would have the best year yet! Love you!

Some thoughts, as I process.......

I've been in a bit of a processing mode in the past few weeks. Not the most comfortable place to be. But probably a good one to be in, when I'll look back later on!

A bunch of what I'm thinking about started when I was down in Kansas City with Steph and we had a few coffees with some of the ladies/moms down there. We wanted to know how it works for families and marriages of those involved in a house of prayer, whether part-time or full-time....mostly with the questions of this as a full-time way of life.

The ladies we talked to had good insight to share with us. I was especially interested in the family aspect, as that is naturally the next step since I've already done the marriage one!

So, since this processing started, I seem to be getting in deeper and deeper. I know that there must be a way that our ever-growing, fascinating lives in God can be a part of every stage of our lives.

A wise woman once told me that she keeps in mind what is of eternal value at the end of the day. That though she is a wife and mother here and now, that when she stands before the Lord on that day, she will not be evaluated and viewed as a wife or a mother. She will be herself and will give account of her own heart and life. Her husband won't be there to vouch for her and her children won't be there to say their opinion. In the end, what matters is how she prepared and cultivated her heart with the Lord throughout her life.

So, God desires my best and my fullest amount of love and time in each and every season of my life. Whether I am young and single, a student, married, a mother, an employee, He wants me wholeheartedly His. He understands the differences that the seasons may look like on the outside, but that doesn't give me an excuse for taking a few years off from cultivating my heart and secret life in Him. I assume it gets trickier in certain seasons that demand more of your time and energy, but I don't want to use these things as excuses.

If I want God badly enough, I'll do something about it, right? If I want to know Him and encounter Him, I'll make the time to read His Word, pray, talk to Him, study, discuss Him with others that are like-minded, etc. I cannot use the excuses that are so prevalent. I cannot have the mindset, that if I work a lot, God must sit back and wait. I cannot live with the idea that having children will take all of my attention and energy and God will have to wait until my kids have moved out of the house before He is my number one again.

I want to go for a life that places Jesus at the first and foremost of my priorities. I don't want things, even good things, to get in the way of that. Especially those of temporal value that don't have any input into my eternal riches.

I keep thinking that pursuing God fully is a tricky way of life. I've heard many people, especially busy moms, full-time employees, and busy students talk about the difficulty of balancing everything. The thought that keeps coming back to me is that God wants each believer to be fully and totally for Him. That includes every season and every person, whatever state or role they are in.

So, I come back to the question for myself, if I want God badly enough, I'll do something about it, right?

A rainy saturday.....

Ahhh...I don't mind the rain.
And it is nice to have a saturday without work!

The day is pretty open for us, which is kinda nice on a saturday! We are planning on seeing my dad later on today when he comes into the city. Otherwise the day is mine for the taking. Perhaps I will visit the Y to do some exercising. Perhaps I will drop by at my sister's to visit my sister and mother. Perhaps, no for sure, I will play some guitar to get ready for my set tomorrow! Yikes, some of us newbies have to step up to the challenge again of leading a set, as some of our worship leaders are gone this sunday. It's all good!

So, I will have a bite to eat and face the day! Thanks Jesus for a new day ahead of me!

Day #1 of our new life!

Today, August 7th, marks another step in the presently forming history of Sanctuary House of Prayer! The first day of our first internship! This morning, bright and early compared to my usual day-off wake-up time, we met at Steph's to begin our time learning, worshiping, and praying together! Steph led us in some worship, and then we launched into the teaching series we are presently studying. To top it off, we had some good breakfast food courtesy of Steph and Joel, to nibble on while our hearts and minds were growing!

This new schedule definitely changes the pace around our home. Shane and I have gotten used to doing our routine at home with the Bible, worship, prayer and study times. It means for a lot of time at home in the beginning part of the week and then I work the later part of every week.

Now, we will be gathering together with some other we really like to learn together about things of Jesus. I'm so excited to learn more, study more and love Jesus more! I love my time at home but I also think I'm going to enjoy the teaching aspect of what we will be learning!

Yippee!!!! This is a big step for Sanctuary! Likely bigger than we know because it doesn't seem all that significant that 4-6 people want to meet more often to learn, pray, worship, etc! But it is a significant move, I'm sure!

So, Lord, expand our hearts, minds and spirits to know You more. Teach us more and more about Yourself! We want to know you more!!!

Just plain mad.

Yes, I'm mad.

I'm totally ticked off that people in power don't make decisions on behalf of the workers under them. I'm ticked that when staff is overworked and the whole floor is understaffed, that the management isn't dragging their butts in to work at 2 in the morning to help and make things manageable.

I'm mad that the more overworked I am, the less I enjoy my job. I'm mad that I feel like I can't always provide good or safe care. I'm mad that this insanity is becoming normal.

I don't like missing my break all the time. I don't like dealing with staffing issues all the time. I don't like being asked to stay overtime after every shift. I don't like the level of stress that is felt amongst everyone. I don't like giving the explanation to every patient that we can't help because we don't have enough staff.

Yesterday night I asked anesthesia in a joking, but honest, way if he could stay and work with us tonight! I said that him going around doing everybody's vital signs would be wonderful help! Well, he didn't buy that. He said he only does epidurals. So, our next thought was that maybe everyone, moms and babes included, should all get epidurals to get us to morning.

#1 Note to self: don't have a baby in the summer months.

#2 Note to self: what really matters at the end of the shift is that everyone under our care is alive....even if we couldn't do much more than that. (how sucky is that?!)

feeling busy with my relationships....

The last day or so has felt so busy with coffees/suppers/etc. We went for lunch with some of Shane's family yesterday. Then I saw my friend Amy and her little guy Jude yesterday afternoon at her place. Then hopped over to my mom's for supper and a little visit. While I was there I got a call from a friend who had driven in to Winnipeg and wanted to have coffee (which I don't know if we've ever done). So, I left mom's at a decent time to drive back to the city to have coffee with Erica and her beautiful 2 month old Katie. It was such a treat to snuggle with a newborn for 1 and a half hours while enjoying a drink, an outing and a friend!

That is a lot of relationships all in one day! It seems like a crazy schedule balancing act. My schedule is greatly consumed with work and Sanctuary. It is often tough to fit in all the relational sides of things with family and friends. I'm alright with this, because it is what I've committed my life to.....I just kinda feel bad sometimes that I don't have a ton of availability to offer those I like and love. And then when I do have some time, there are sometimes too many people fit into one day. Then I run out of time in the day to do some of the things that I really wanted to do to enlarge my heart and spirit with the Lord.

This life is quite the balancing act sometimes. It is like a tug-of-war some days!

I totally love my friends, my family and going for coffee! And I totally like having time in my day for more than just relating with other people!

So, I will go now and drop off some stuff at my sister's new place (boo hoo...she's left us as of yesterday night!) and have coffee with a friend that I totally love and want to catch up with! After my time with Christina, I may have time to see my hubbie and/or have some God time before I have to sleep and get ready for the night shift!

Yep, feeling a little busy! Thank goodness for teaching and worship cds to drive in the car with! So I can still motivate my mind and heart while I travel to the next stop!

loving the usual....

It's great to be home again and with my husband!

Today was a great, but full day. I woke up at a decent hour to start the day off with some good bible, prayer, worship/guitar and study time! I love this part of my life!

Then it was off to Starbuck's for a tuesday coffee time! I love frappacinos! Then for some grocery shopping (10% tuesday) and cleaning of the house. It really is too bad that our fast day is on the cheapest grocery shopping day. I always miss out on the tasters! And I'm a mennonite by family history, so I'm all about free food!

Today was a day in history. Well, silly history. Today was my second or third time (the amount of which I can count on one hand) that I have cleaned the bathroom since we got married over two years ago! My hubbie was feeling kinda crappy so I took it for the team and cleaned the bathroom myself. Not that I mind that kind of cleaning. It just was the agreement we reached when we got married. I sweep, vacuum, and wash dishes. Shane cleans the bathroom (very thoroughly) and dries the dishes. We both make the bed, take the garbage and recycling out and do laundry. It really works pretty good for us as a team! I thought I might have forgotten how to clean a toilet, but it all came back to me like riding a bike.

Then to finish the day off well, we had a great prayer time! Tuesday night is a special prayer night. We have been going since March 2005, and have a consistent 4-5 people. Many tough prayer nights have happened since we started. Today was a blessing of easy prayer. We went for a solid hour and a half and it was enjoyable and easy! As all of you must know, prayer isn't always the easiest thing to do over a period of time. Today was fun! Way to go Johan for preparing, playing for all that time and cycling the harp and bowl model to a T! Yeah Joel for joining us, singing along to lift those choruses and praying like a passionate maniac! We got to get you praying more often! Woo hoo Steph for being a faithful prophetic singer in the harshness of my living room....and a prayer person too! That's right, we have many different roles in the period of one meeting. Yeah Shaner for being there to pray and contribute even when feeling crappy! You guys rock and I love doing this prayer life with you!

Good night all!

WE'RE BACK!!!!!

Steph and I enjoyed our time in Kansas City this past week! Lots of time in the prayer room, good food at Panera and Chipotle's, time with the girls (Steph and Joyska), doing some HOPE city stuff, some meetings with some IHOP ladies, and a little sister time too!

We woke up at 3am yesterday and drove the 14 hours to make it back for Sanctuary! Yikes! But the ride actually didn't seem that long at all! Steph is a trooper to drive along with! It was sooo helpful to have another driver! When Shane and I went in December, I drove both ways all by myself! Good bragging rights, but not something I'd jump into doing again if I can prevent it!

We made it back in time to shower all the grease off, pick up slurpees and be at Sanctuary in time to hear my wonderful, firey husband speak! He is a fireball, that one. One of the many reasons I married him!

I am totally pleased to be home. I haven't quite felt the appreciation for Winnipeg before as much as I do after this past trip to Kansas City. It is the first trip I've returned from, to return to my own house of prayer. It was the first KC trip that didn't give me the aching longing to do what they are doing down there, or move there. WE'RE DOING IT UP HERE!!!

I was so thankful to see my fellow SHOPers. We have an incredible family that we are building. I felt more ease praying when I walked in the door at Sanctuary, then the week at IHOP. I really cherish this time when we are small and intimate. We all have to own it with everything to make it work!

And so, thank-you Joyska for opening your home! Thank-you Shane for blessing me with the pleasure of a second sister trip in the past 7 months! Thank-you Jesus for what you spoke to me and confirmed in me this week.

I love my home. I love my part in Sanctuary. I'm called here.

HERE WE GO!!! KANSAS CITY, HERE WE COME!

We leave in the next few minutes! Feeling pretty tired from my work weekend, but excited for the week ahead! I'm already missing my Shaner as our time together has been limited lately. I'll go receive for the both of us! Kansas City is always the place that we hear big heart things! So I'll go on behalf of us both!

See you next week!

YIPPEEEEEE!!!!!!

One last day of work and I'm off to Kansas City!

Steph, Joyska and I leave for KC early tomorrow morning! I'm so excited for our time out there! I am going to spend the week, soaking up the prayer room, reading and studying like I've been wanting to and having some good girl and sister time! We are going to have a blast!

So, on that note, off to work, excited about tomorrow morning!

Turning? Judgements? All for love.....

I've been thinking a lot about the idea of God asking me to turn with my whole heart towards Him. For those of you who wonder what in the world "turning" means, I'm taking it straight from Joel 2:12.

"Even now, declares the Lord, return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning..."

So, a recent experience, has left me asking the question in a more persistent way. "Jesus, what does it mean for me to turn to you with my whole heart and life?" I know that over the years of my relationship with Jesus, I've turned more and more, especially in the last few. But I know that I still have lots of turning to do, that my face would be directly looking at Him.

With those wrestles in mind, I've also been finishing up the book, End-Times Simplified by David Sliker. Here is a little exerpt that kinda has a connection in my mind with what I've been processing.

"God will shake every dimension of our earthly existence with His judgements. His hope and desire is for all people to turn to the "Desire of the Nations" (Hag 2:7). In that hour He will "speak from heaven" (Heb 12:25) and we must not refuse Him. He wants to shake all that can be shaken in order to remove from us anything that might hinder our love for Him. He wants to purify us. We must be unshakeable in order to receive His Kingdom, a "kingdom that cannot be shaken" (Heb 12:27). God is a consuming fire (v29) who will move jealously to purify believers in that hour (Dan 11:35; 12:10). The saints will be refined and made white, spotless in His sight and fit to rule with Him (Eph 5:26-27). God will sanctify and cleanse His bride with the water of the Word, "that He might present her to Himself a glorious church" (Eph 5:27)."

So, I feel the invitation to turn very strongly. I've been asking for clarification about what that might look like, as I have no idea. I don't want to look at my heart or lifestyle with an eye of religiosity or condemnation, looking to change something that is rooted in those evils. But, I want to be soft and sensitive to hearing God's voice and feeling the conviction of the Holy Spirit. That when He talks, I would response with my whole heart and life. That I would turn anything that He pinpoints.

And so I continue in the search to access the heart and mind of my Jesus and know what is on His heart about me. I want to know what His idea of turning looks like for me specifically....

Monday?

As many of you prepare for the weekend, in my world, let the week begin! Off to work I go, after having the last 7 days off! It has been SO nice!

Monday is another classroom orientation day.....Will the learning ever slow down??? I'm soon going to be on overload! 6 classroom days within a month is a little much for me!

But, for the next 3 days I'm on the ward. I'm feeling slightly nervous as I haven't been on the floor for two weeks because of the classroom days. I'm sure it will all come back to me as I step onto the floor! It will be nice to be working instead of learning...strange to say. So, here's to a good work weekend!

I love my life!

I have a girls day each month in which a bunch of us girlfriends try out a new restaurant for a meal or a dessert and chat for the evening. This started in July of 2004, the month after we got married! And we still haven't gone to the same restaurant twice! The exception being our Christmas get-together at Pine Ridge Hollow! Mmmmmmm!!!!!

So, each month we go around the table and get caught up on the latest news in each life. We take many rabbit trails and spend the evening laughing, ooooing and ahhhhing like girlfriends should.

This last monday was no different, except that the excitement was even higher than usual! We have all been waiting each month for some engagement news from one of the girls. Well, as Christina, Steph and I were walking towards the restaurant, we saw something blinding us from her left ring finger! Sure enough, it was the engagement news we were hoping and waiting for! My friend Shauna is getting married!

Then we also had the excitement of seeing another friend, Ruth, who was married recently and whom we haven't seen since the wedding. She brought wedding pictures!

So the marriage, engagement, boys and life stories were wonderful! Always lots of excitement and laughs! It is these nights that I remember why I love being a female so much! The longer we have girls day, the more I seem to enjoy them and see how important they are in my life! You just have to get out with the girls sometimes! It is a priority!

So, that brings me back to my title of this blog - I love my life! It was my turn to talk about what is happening in my life. Well, no new marriage (thank goodness!), no recent engagement, no baby on the way (naturally the next big question people generally have), no stories of saying no to pursuers, and no recent trips I've taken. But, I love my life. I love my marriage, I love our vision, I love our involvement in Sanctuary, I love my job when I'm there, I love the amount of time that I'm not there, I love my family, I love my time at home......

The list goes on. This season in our lives is so special. One day, it won't look the same, and so I'm going to treasure it to the fullest. What normal people get to spend 20+ days of the month not working, and spend most weekdays praying, reading the Word and studying WITH their spouse at home????? I am so blessed.

One day Sanctuary will have a building and my prayer husband won't be home nearly so much, and neither will I. I treasure his company in our appartment, even if we are doing different things throughout the day.

These season is so sweet, yet filled with real struggles. Somehow, when I look at the big picture, those mountains do become mole hills in light of the joys and blessings!

I must say it again, I love my life!

Today is Father's Day???

Funny that today is technically Father's Day, as Shane and I spent the last 2 days celebrating it! Friday, as I mentioned, we spent the evening at my dad's. Then yesterday, after a family bridal shower, Shane and I, Shane's sister Tina and some of her family and my mom-in-law and dad-in-law all had a barbeque together and watched the game. I'm generally not much of a game kind of person, but it was a nice time!

So, it feels like Father's Day has passed for me and today is a day for me. Shane left early this morning to golf with his dad and brother.

I have had such a nice morning so far! I couldn't sleep well throughout the night and therefore got up earlier than I generally do on a weekend when I choose to sleep in! I was up by 9am (to many that would be sleeping in!). The morning started with a good time emailing a friend of mine. It felt like Godly advice and scripture were just a flowin'. I'm definitely not tooting my own horn here, but you know when you get on a roll that feels right and it's definitely not because of your own abilities? That's always enjoyable!

Then, I spent an hour and a half on my guitar! My fingers are feelings the effects as I type now. It was a really nice time with my Jesus! I sure hope that all the practice is paying off as well!

I just got back from the Y where I worked my little tushy...well, not off, unfortunately! Actually, it's more the tummy I want to work off more than anything..... I generally find it pretty hard to motivate myself to go to the gym. Though, the consequences are wonderful for me! I think I have hormones that are extra sensitive to exercise. It changes my internal feelings and mood after I get some deliberate exercise. It could have something to do with the sermons I'm listening to as I'm on the eliptical!

Well, a bath is in order now, a yummy late lunch at my sister's and then a day full of prayer and worship at Sanctuary! What a great sunday!....have I mentioned that I love sundays?!

Happy Father's Day!!!

I guess many of you are thinking, what? It is not father's day today! It's on sunday!

Well, today is father's day to our family. We are heading out this afternoon/evening to go for a barbeque at my dad's for the occasion. Everybody is bringing a little something to make into a yummy BBQ meal!

This means we get another great evening in the country!!! Yippee! I think I may want a bonfire!

Being committed to Sanctuary at this time has meant some adjustments for our time spent with my extended family and the way that Shane and I make decisions related to sundays especially. Sundays are the biggest involvement day with Sanctuary. We have sets from 3:30pm - 9:30pm, and we have use of a building that day of the week.

Shane and I feel very committed to SHOP in this time and want to sow energy and time into it.

This means that while we have such high involvement specifically on a sundy, which won't always be the case when we have a building and more worship and prayer times together, we needed to decide a few things.

Naturally, almost all extended family gatherings are on sundays....and usually in the evening or late afternoon. At this time in our lives, we have decided to commit sunday afternoon and evenings to SHOP and therefore have had to miss quite a lot of extended family gatherings.

It can be a hard tension between doing what you feel called to at this time and giving it your total commitment, and the physical/relational/family side of things. I've prayed about this topic and asked for wisdom on it.

My number one goal in life is to walk out that which I feel called to do, specifically related to loving the Lord first and foremost. And that means even above my family and friends. It doesn't mean I am totally excited each sunday for every hour of prayer. But it means that I need to give myself to what Jesus has lead me to.

And for now that includes missing out on the family gatherings if they are on sundays. What we have done in return is really attempted to invest in my immediate family get-togethers (like with my mom and dad).

I understand the wrestle that some of you may be going through with involvement or the family tension side of things when you give yourself to something that takes time and energy away from get-togethers. I encourage you to pray into this area. See what God is telling you. Continue to love your families regardless of the amount of time you spend with them. (I'm talking extended family here)

"Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life". Matthew 19:29

Finishing up a little learning......

For the past 3 days, and today as well, I have been doing some orientation classes for the new ward that I'm adding to my job description. It has felt like I'm in school all over again! I'm getting a brief overview of so many things I haven't heard of since I graduated. It is a good refresher!

I will be starting on another ward to add to my area of work on the third floor. I presently hop around from L&D, LDRP and postpartum (3A), due to my status as a maternal/child float, spending the majority of my time on L & D. After today and a few buddy shifts on the ward, I will be adding 3B gynecology and antepartum to my mix. I have 2 buddy shifts scheduled for later this month.

I've been pretty nervous about this step in the progression of the areas that I eventually will work in because I'm a float. Originally when I took this float position in October, my boss told me I would be starting on 3B in January and then NICU in spring! That scared me! I think I may have had a little freak out had it been back in January.

But, because I've been preparing myself and knowing that it is coming, I feel a little less nervous. I still have a number one worry of the workload and being able to cope with more patients and different patients than I'm used to. But, I'm SO glad that it is June and not January!

When I look at the bigger picture, this is a good move for me! I am going to be such a better nurse in the longrun (hopefully) if I know some of the skills and organization a ward like 3B will force me to learn! I'm slightly looking forward to learning new skills and such again. Strangely.

So, back for one more day of the medical/surgical orientation. I'm so glad that after 3:30pm, I am off for 7 days!!!! Bring it on!

HAPPY 2ND ANNIVERSARY TO MY HUBBIE!!!

I love you, Shaner! You are my favorite guy (you know, besides Jesus) and I'm tickled to be able to spend my life with you!

I like you more and more all the time. I love sharing a home with you. I love dreaming about the future together. I like thinking of the places that God will take us together (whether that be spiritual, geographical, etc). I like doing the dishes together. I like going for walks, holding your hand. I like late night talks, staring at the ceiling. I love to hear your opinion.

I think you're the greatest! And I'm pumped to celebrate two years of awesome marriage and many more great years to come!

How I love the country....

We spent another evening out at my mom's yesterday. I can't quite describe the feelings I get when I relax for an evening in the country.....

I went out the other night as well when I was craving the presence of my mom and her home in the country. I almost felt a tangible welcome home hug when I entered the area as I was driving. That was a neat feeling!

I love the peace and quiet of the country. I love how green the trees and grass are. I love the space to play on the yard without neighbors too close by. I love my mom's new place. I like the birds and the flowers. I love playing with my foster bro. I love the smell and taste of barbequed meat. I love watching my husband, in his glory, as he plays, walks and enjoys the nature. I know he's in his most content spot when he's outside in the country. I love my siblings and my parents. I love my family a whole bunch!

And then comes the irony.......

Why am I called to a house of prayer over a CITY, when I long to be in the COUNTRY?

Will I ever get to live in the COUNTRY if I'm feeling the calling to a house of prayer that generally resides in a CITY?

At times I've mentioned, more recently, to Shane that perhaps we will never be living in the country. Maybe it is a dream that we will end up giving up for the sake of our callings. I know that God knows the desires of our hearts. I have NO IDEA how this one with turn out. It is full of such opposites!

That's the fun of it, right? So, though I would love to be living in a house right now, we are needing to be living in the city at the present time. And I don't want to buy a house in the city. Nor do we have the funds to think about a house at this time.

So, only God knows if we get a house one day, where it would be!!!!!! (still hoping for the gift of a free one!.....you heard me right!)