Don't try to move the Hand when you can't see the big picture

Shane and I are constantly asking the Lord to direct us and sovereignly lead us in our lives and callings. We regularly find ourselves seeking Him in a focused way in the area of direction.

Constantly reevaluating make sense to me with the kind of life we are living. It feels risky, but it is also exciting. There are so many dreams that we have and stages of life that are nearing and sometimes I'm totally at a loss to know how they all fit together. House, children, full-time intercessory missionaries.....and how does that fit together financially?

Sometimes I feel like we live on a yo-yo. On one extreme, the Lord breathes life and vision into us and we know we are doing what we are called to do, despite how absurd it looks to the general public. When He gives us the big picture, the sacrifice isn't so big and the future isn't so overwhelming.

On the other extreme, it is hard to see how in the world the callings and dreams we have will work with natural circumstances. Those are my low moments of faith when it's hard to keep the vision and easy to think about living "normally". On these days, normal jobs with normal salaries, a house and a family sound awesome.

But, I don't want to live for a number of things that won't satisfy and in the end, ultimately aren't my true reward. I don't want to live for a house that at any moment could be taken away. As trouble increases, many of the Church will lead lives that include fleeing and persecution. That doesn't sound like sitting in a beautiful, cozy house to me. So, why would I live for walls and a roof that I want to own when it truly won't satisfy?

Then there is the desire for comfort and security. If I am living and aligning the things in my life so that it fills the desire in me for comfort and security, but they are found in things other than God, I'm mistaken. If a "normal" job or "normal" salary are my desire so that I'm comfortable, I've place my hope in something other than the Lord. My comfort and security should rest in Him alone, despite any hardship or challenge that I come across in life.

The Lord has been speaking to me in this area with a picture of a puzzle. He sees how the whole puzzle of my life fits together. He knows the right sequence to putting the right pieces together to create the masterpiece. Then I come along and though I can only see one or two pieces, I try to control the hand of the One putting the puzzle together. That is ridiculous! He alone sees the whole puzzle in it's completion. I can see a tiny bit of the pieces, and yet I try to move His hand?

Or like a game of chess or checkers. If you can't see all the pieces and don't see the whole board, trying to move the one piece I can see is like a huge guess in the big picture.

I feel like I'm in a place of surrender these days. I am aware of my fears that would hold back. I'm also aware of my desire to control the steps of the journey. I feel that lately the Lord has been so good to consistently call me back to the place of surrender.

I do not want to try to move His hand when I can't see the full picture.

Lord, have Your way and direct us sovereignly every step of the way. I lean into You and choose to trust Your perfect leadership.