Yep. Today I'm sad. I'm discouraged about my wrist that continues to have pain and limitations.
I went to the doc's today to keep an ongoing paper trail of my wrist issues. I know that there isn't anything to do about it, but report it.
The poor doc wishes he could do more for me. I think it discourages him too.
Part way through our conversation when surgeons and fusions entered the conversation (not that I need one), I just suddenly couldn't hold the tears back. I disclaimered that I was about to cry before I did. Poor doc as he apologized for not having kleenex and said "Oh no...don't do this to me" =)
Some days discouragement is so hard to fight, as I know many of you that read this understand in your own ways and with your own struggles.
I just wish that I wasn't limited by pain and fear of pain. I also want zero to do with self-pity. I don't want my wrist to tell me what I can and can't do in life, with my job, my hobbies, or my future.
I don't like not knowing what the future holds, but apparently that's the way I'm living my life in a number of areas. Some days it stresses me out more than others. I guess I wish I had more control.
Someone better is in control. "Father God is neither care-less or cause-less with how He spend our lives" (Anonymous by Alicia Britt Chole).
I must cling to the fact that He is in control, not my wrist, not the pain, not my limitations. He alone is sovereign over my life and not once has He dropped the baton of my life. There are no "oops"es for the God of the Universe.
"To our God, this course - call it transition, further studies, unexpected illness, financial crisis, grief or a desert - is as full of potential as any course ever has been and any course ever will be" (Anonymous). Amen to that!
Monday, January 05, 2009
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5 comments:
I'm sorry you're discouraged : ( I hope you get a blast of encouragement from the Holy Spirit : )
Oh little lamb~ I understand completely( well as much as possible anyways). This weekend after a VERY stressful two weeks my endometriosis kicked in to high gear and on a ministry trip I was suddenly crippled with pain. I was dry heaving and layed out in a church bench. It was so aweful. Plus I had to pass Shiloh on to someone else because I was laid out in pain , couldn't even hold her and Steven was trying desperatly to pack everyting up to get us on the road. It was really bad and I was super mad at satan and illness for robing me. Two days later and I feel like I have been in a car wreck yet life and work goes on dispite the pain and illness. I need a breakthrough and so do you. We need to see the unseen, yet in the middle of the waiting we need the endurance of Christ on the Cross. Then when you think on that everything pales in comparison doesn't it . I have stuffed myself on self-pity till I am about to bust and it drives me mad. Why me, why now, why this way. All I can do is curl up in a ball and pray to the only one that can share in my pain and take away my sorrows. I love ya girlie.
You have the right attitude, that is awesome. So I bless you now, and God I ask that you pour out your spirit of encouragement over Kristi, would you bless her with joy and healing, in Jesus name.
you are so beautiful!!! God will bless you for your attitude towards this unfortunate season. i pray that you are healed soon!!!
Thanks for your kind words and support guys!
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