It has been such a blessing to have Shane at home with me
for the last number of months. Though sometimes it was a little awkward to
figure out working from home, having his presence with us, was awesome. I think
of the many daddies out there who leave early in the morning, work all day and
come home to briefly see their kids before they go to sleep. The quality time
pretty much happens on the weekends. Shane has been soooo lucky to have been a
part of the day-to-day, behind the scenes parts of Noah’s first few months. Not
many dads get that honor and privilege and I think it has made Shane an even
better dad and an even better man to parent with.
Thinking again of the amount we’ve been apart this
week…..Shane has never been away from Noah this much and he sure missed him
this week. I don’t remember when Shane and I have been a part this many hours
in a week. Sometime prior to our time in Kona back in 2010! I missed him and I
appreciate the last few months even more =)
So, I survived! Yay! Thankfully, when the Discipleship
Training School schedule is busy, he will be still around home on the base so
Noah and I can be a part of things or come and go as needed. This week was a
special circumstance but wow….what a way to hit the ground running!
I cried a lot this week. I prayed a lot. I rocked my baby a
lot. I checked my ipod for texts from Shane a lot. I thought a lot. And I had
to lean on the Lord a lot.
My emotions were all over the place this week, with the
yo-yo effect. I felt overwhelmed. Then I felt perspective and grace. I felt
despair. Then I felt hope. I felt frustrated and angry. Then I felt peace and
tenderness.
There were hard parts and there were really good parts about
this week. Sadly, my cutie pie has not been feeling well since we arrived. Teething
to coughing to a runny nose to fussiness has made for trying times for this
mama. But, those smiles, laughs and coos, melt my heart and I love so many
things about that little guy. We’ve never had so much time alone, just the two
of us come to think of it. We got to settle down in our new home, figure out
many different attempts at what works best in our new sleeping/napping
arrangements and explore the campus.
Noah discovered trees and loves watching the leaves. We saw
a turtle on the road. We sat on the grass (until I discovered chiggers!). We
played on the blanket a lot every day. Noah chewed on toys. Noah started
rolling like crazy. We went to the prayer room. We got to see a few friends too
=)
I did a whole bunch of things that I’ve worked so hard not
to do over the last 4.5 months. And that’s ok. I’ve rocked my boy to sleep. A
lot. I’ve fed him to sleep. I’ve napped with him.
And the Lord is meeting me. He is sustaining me. I’m in need
of a little refreshment after such a crazy 8 days and I’m looking forward to
soaking in all that I can in the church service tomorrow morning. I have
probably prayed and leaned into the Lord more than I have in a long time
because it’s just me, Him and Noah for many hours. And since there have been
challenges, I’ve had to cry out to Him. He has been with me. He is teaching me
and I think He has special things in store for me.
I don’t think this next chapter of my life is going to be
boring. My prayer this week has been that the Lord would speak to me about my
purpose and vision in this next season. Not as a wife. Not as a mother. But as
me. Kristi. And what He has in store for my heart. He’s already whispering and
I’m getting little inklings. I’m looking forward to what He has to say…
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